


How we came to be

by castielsnovaking (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 69,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/castielsnovaking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean are childhood friends, but when they get to High school everything changes. Castiel becomes popular while Dean stays with his group from Elementary. Things become hard between the two, they know there's something between them, but in risk of hurting their friendship they don't act on it. Destiel Highschool AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

It all started when Dean Winchester moved to Kansas. He was enrolled in the closest Kindergarten. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He didn’t want to leave his Mother, Father and little Brother, Sammy. He was worried about people not liking him because of his ratty clothes. When he walked to the classroom where he was going to be spending the rest of the year, he gazed around the classroom. He saw posters hanging on the walls and arts and crafts on the tables. His mother ushered him off to the teacher so she could introduce him to the rest of the class.  
“Good morning, class. This is Dean Winchester, he’s new to our class, so say hello Dean!”  
There was an echo of hello’s and hi’s. He smiled and walked with his mother to the door to say goodbye. Dean tried to sneak out the door with her but she scooped him into a hug and kissed his forehead. Mary whispered into his ear  
“It will be okay sweetie; I’ll be back before you even know it”  
Dean smiled back at her and told her he loves her, as she stood up she softly said to him  
“I love you more”. She waved as she walked off, and suddenly Dean felt alone.

He turned back to face the class, only to find a young boy with the bluest eyes he has ever seen. He had his eyes squinted and his head was slightly tilted, as if he was analysing Dean. After a few moments he smiled a toothy grin and introduced himself.  
“Hi, I’m Castiel Novak” “I’m Dean Winchester”. Castiel asked him if he wanted to play with him and Dean agreed. Something about the blued eyed boy with raven hair intrigued Dean. 

Pretty soon Dean and Castiel became inseparable. They spent all their time together and slept over at each others houses every weekend. They felt so comfortable in each others company. Castiels parents, Naomi and Chuck Novak loved Dean as Mary and John Winchester loved Castiel. 

When Dean was over at Castiel’s house, sometimes his brothers, Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel would play with them, while his sister Anna would sit and watch them while playing with her Barbies. Michael and Lucifer were twins in their first year of High school. Although they fought a lot, there wasn’t much they wouldn’t do for each other. Gabriel was into his third year of Elementary and Anna was first grade. However Dean’s baby brother Sammy was only in Preschool and as much as Dean loved him, he never let Sam play with him and Castiel as Dean wanted Cas all to himself. That was the way it had always been and stayed that way up until the summer break before High school.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Castiel and Dean had been bestfriends since they were 7. They were now 17 soon to be turning 18. It was the summer before their first year of Senior High-school. Throughout Elementary and Junior Highschool, Castiel and Dean had remained bestfriends. Cas alternated between two groups though, the ‘Popular’ group with Gabriel and Anna, and Dean’s group with this actual friends. Cas didn’t want to hurt either group so he made sure he spent equal time with both groups. Sometimes Dean got jealous but he knew that Cas was his bestfriend and visa versa. 

Cas and Dean were enjoying their summer holiday while it lasted. They were lounging in the pool in the backyard of Castiel’s house with their group of friends which consisted of Castiel, Dean, Charlie, Jo and Ash. Charlie was Dean’s cousin but was more of a sister to Dean than anything, same with Jo. Ash was the computer genius of their group. Castiel’s family was the richest family in the area, so they had all of the nice things which consisted of a Pool, Game room and home cinema. Not to mention their mansion. Dean couldn’t help but envy his families wealth. Dean’s family had to work hard for what they had, but he didn’t let that affect his friendship with Cas. 

Dean had to start thinking about his future and college, so he decided he’d spent part of his summer working for his Uncle Bobby in his mechanic shop. He knew his parents wouldn’t be able to put him through college so he’d have to pay for it himself. He was glad that it was work he enjoyed though. 

One lazy summers afternoon Castiel and Dean were lying on the grass in the backyard of Dean’s house relaxing and talking. Dean felt as if he could talk with Castiel for hours about anything. He never had issues with finding conversation with Cas, and when it was silent, it was a comfortable silence. Castiel was talking about Gabriels newest pranks on the rest of the Novaks while Dean listened and laughed. Dean loved the sound of Castiel’s voice and his laugh. No matter what Castiel said to Dean, he listened intently to every word. 

When Dean checked the time next, it was 1:05.   
“Shit, I’m late!” he yelled as he scrambled to his feet and ran to his room to get changed into some old but comfortable clothes for work. Luckily Bobby lived only 5 minutes away from Dean so he could easily run there and get there before 1:15. He ran out of the house and sprinted to Bobby’s as fast as he could, leaving Castiel with the rest of his family, which wasn’t a problem as the Winchesters saw Castiel as their own family. 

When he finally reached Bobby’s car yard he was panting and trying to catch his breath. He tried to slip in without Bobby realising he was late but he was at the front desk so Dean had no such luck.  
“Whereave’ ya been ya idjit?” Bobby questioned Dean in his gruff voice. Dean only gave him an innocent smile and replied with   
“I thought I didn’t start until 1:30 so I decided I would come here early.” Bobby looked at him with uncertainty but let it slide anyway. He pointed to a beaten up car and told him to get to work. While he was working there was a ringing of a bell to show that a customer had arrived at the shop, Bobby yelled to Dean  
“Go address the customer, I’m busy”. Dean sighed reluctantly and wiped his hands on his jeans to wipe some excess oil off. He was greeted by Castiel holding a brown bag. He smiled at Dean and told him that Mary asked Cas to take some food to Dean while he’s working. Dean took the bag from Cas with a smirk and smugly said  
“So you’re my little servant are you?” Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean and went to walk out when Dean yelled out to Cas  
“Wait Cas, are you staying at mine tonight?” He looked back at Dean over his shoulder with a smirk   
“If I feel like I can tolerate you” he joked and walked back to the Winchester household. Dean chuckled softly, thinking back to when Cas would never sass anybody, back when Castiel would never be able to understand any reference to a movie or crack a joke. Castiel was by far the wittiest person Dean knew. He smiled at the memories of when him and Cas were younger playing together until it got dark outside then going in and playing games like ‘The floor is lava’ and pretend fights. Everything was so simple back then. Dean continued on with working on the car until it got to 5:30 which was closing time. He said his goodbyes to Bobby and jogged back to his house. When he walked in he saw Sam and Mary sitting down watching TV, and his Dad was at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. He couldn’t find Cas so he assumed he went home. He felt disappointed; he was looking forward to spending the night with Castiel. He was sure that Cas would be staying at his house tonight. He told himself that something probably came up and he had to go back home. He walked over to the couch where Mary and Sam were sitting; Sam looked at him and crinkled his nose,  
“Ew Dean, you stink go take a shower”  
Dean gave him a mocking smile and flipped him off as he walked off to go have a shower. He heard his Mother scold Sam for being rude and smirked with satisfaction. 

He headed straight to the bathroom where he turned on the shower. He went to take his shirt off as he quickly smelt himself, he really did smell bad. He quickly stripped down and stepped into the shower. He let the warm water wash over his body. He relaxed in the shower and thought a lot. His mind kept drifting back to Cas, and his toothy grin and the way his nose crinkled when he laughed. He found himself smiling at the thought. He was pulled back to reality when someone knocked on the door telling him to stop using all the hot water. He quickly rinsed off all the soap and turned the shower off. He wrapped a towel around his waist before he exited the bathroom. He saw Sam waiting outside with his typical bitchface.   
“Took you long enough, even though I can still smell you”   
“Go shave your legs Samantha”  
Sam sighed shallowly, and Dean grinned knowing he won that round. He walked back into his bedroom and closed the door, he then walked over to where his stereo was and turned it on. Carry on My Wayward Son came on and Dean instantly started singing along; he even started to play air guitar.  
“Oh for fucks sakes Dean, will you shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”   
Dean turned around with wide eyes. He hadn’t meant for anybody to see that. Dean didn’t realise that there was anybody in the room let alone Cas. He tried to play it off coolly though  
“Aw Cas, do you not like my private shows”   
Castiel had his back to him. He rolled over to glare at Dean, but before he could get a proper glare in his eyed swept across Dean’s naked chest. Cas raised his eyebrows at how muscular Dean’s chest was. That wasn’t the first time Cas had seen Dean without a shirt on however, but there was something different about this time. Dean saw that Cas was staring at his chest so he cleared his throat and his eyes locked with Castiel’s. They kept looking at each other with their blushes increasing; neither of them wanting to break the eye contact first, until Sam came barging in. It took one look between the two of them for Sam to feel awkward. He cleared his throat  
“Uh, Mum says dinner is almost ready, if you two are...Uh... Ready...” Sam choked out.   
Dean stayed silent, feeling super awkward at Sam walking in on Dean half naked and him and Cas staring at each other.   
“Thanks Sam, we’ll be right down. Dean was just waking me up” Castiel said calmly. Sam nodded in return and walked out of the room quickly.   
Cas started to chuckle when he saw how red Dean had gotten. Castiel stood up and walked toward the door. He turned back before he walked out  
“You coming?” he asked.   
“Uh yeah I’ll be out in a sec, I’ll just get changed.” Cas just shrugged in return as he walked out. Dean watched him as he walked away and found himself staring at his ass and thinking how good it looked in those jeans he was wearing.  
“What the fuck Winchester, you’re straight, you like boobs. And curves. You don’t look at guys like that, especially not Cas. He’s your bestfriend. He’d never look at you like that. Well, he probably would seeing as he’s bi – but that’s not the point. That’s Cas, your bestfriend. You can’t look at him like that even if his ass does look like a 10. Stop it Dean!” Dean groaned and lay back. What was going on. 

When he got downstairs to join the rest of his family and Cas for dinner, he didn’t dare look at Cas. Dean was freaking out about what was going on. He needed to stop thinking about Cas all the time, and looking at him like he was checking him out, which he was but he wouldn’t dare to admit it.  
“So Castiel, are you staying here tonight?”  
“If it wouldn’t be a problem Mr Winchester, I would like to yes.”  
“We’ve talked about this, its fine to call me John.”  
“Okay yes, sorry John.”  
Dean didn’t know if he could last a night with Cas without saying something about what was going on inside his head, so he did what he thought was the best thing to do  
“Uh Cas, shouldn’t you go home to see your family”  
“I saw them just this morning, Dean?”  
“They might want to see you again..”  
Cas didn’t say anything back to that but he frowned at him with a quizzical expression. Mary didn’t know what was going on between them so she jumped in  
“Cas honey, you’re staying tonight. It’s always a pleasure to have you here.” Cas smiled at her and thanked her.   
After dinner, they all sat down to watch a movie together, half way through Dean excused himself to go to the toilet, but really just went to his room and locked himself in. At around 11 Cas went to open the door but found that it was locked, so he tried knocking. Dean stayed silent in hope that Castiel would think he was asleep. He heard Castiel sigh and Sam telling him he could stay in his room tonight seeing as Dean was being a dick.   
Dean didn’t fall asleep until 3 that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about Cas. He got up around 6 to go to the toilet, and when he came back, he found Cas sitting on his bed with a tired expression. He looked up at Dean slowly with a sad smile  
“If you didn’t want me to stay you could have said...” Cas sounded so sad. Dean didn’t want to blurt everything out to Cas, so he decided that he would be a dick to him.  
“Yeah well, I tried didn’t I. But Mom decided to be nice and tell you to stay.”  
“What?”  
“Did I stutter? You heard me.”  
“I don’t understand why you’re being like this, Dean.”  
“Maybe because I don’t want you to come around here anymore”  
“What the fuck, Dean?!”   
“I was actually going to go back to sleep, so uh, can you leave now”  
Cas looked at him with confusion, which changed to sadness, which changed to pure anger. He glared at him and pushed past him when he left the room. He watched him walk back to Sam’s room, careful to keep his eyes on Castiel’s head. He closed his door and sighed as he leant against it. He heard Sam’s door close and footsteps going past his door. He assumed Cas would be going down to get a glass of water or something. He walked back to his bed and lay down.   
“I’ve got it so bad” Dean muttered to himself. He didn’t think that Castiel would take it to heart as much as he did. When breakfast came around he was expecting to see Castiel sitting down with his family talking to them. However he saw Sam, Mary and John there but no Cas.  
“Where’s Castiel?” Mary asked, knowing that breakfast was one of Castiel’s favourite parts of staying with the Winchesters was the pancakes which Mary made in the morning.  
“I dunno. I’m not his keeper, he’s a big boy he can manage his life” Dean retorted.  
“Dean stop being such a dick to Cas. I heard what you said to him this morning, and he left after it.” Sam thought it would be a great idea to add his opinion.  
“Dean, what did you say to Castiel?” Mary asked with concern in her voice.  
“Nothing, Sam’s just over reacting” and with that Dean went back up the stairs and slammed his door. He didn’t think when he said those things to Castiel. He was just trying to not blurt out his feelings for Castiel. He tried to call Cas to sort things out, but his phone went straight to voice mail, Dean sighed and texted him instead.  
‘Hey Cas. Sorry bout before. Want to hang today?” He waited half an hour to see if Cas would text back. After an hour he tried again ‘Cas you there?’ still no reply. He shrugged it off, assuming that Castiel was sleeping or something. Dean waited by his phone for the rest of the day, waiting for Castiel to text him back and meet up with him. But he never did. He went to work the next day and decided to stop by at Cas’s house on his way back. When he knocked on the door, Anna answered. She looked him up and down   
“What do you want, Winchester.” She snarled at him  
“What? I just want to see Cas?”   
“He’s out at the moment.” And with that she slammed the door right in his face. Anna had never treated him like that, and he started to get concerned as to why she was treating him like that. Surely it wouldn’t have anything to do with what he said to Cas? Castiel wouldn’t have taken that to heart and gotten worked up over it. He knew that Dean didn’t mean it, right? That night he sent Cas a total of 27 texts, to try to get him to reply. But he never did. Dean stayed up all night thinking about Cas and if he was going to reply. What if something had happened to Cas? He couldn’t stop thinking about him, and he realised that he was falling in love with his bestfriend.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Castiel was lying on his bed thinking over what Dean had said to him. He and Dean had been best friends for almost 10 years, and this was their first fight. Normally they got on like two pea’s in a pod. Cas was thinking about what he did wrong, what he could have done to make Dean react like that to him. Was it because he was looking at his chest? No, that can’t be it. Dean wouldn’t react like that because of Castiel staring at his chest. He accepted Cas and his bi-sexuality. He always had so why would he change now? He checked his phone and saw he had a missed call and 2 texts from Dean. He read them but didn’t reply, he was still upset by what Dean had said to him. He wasn’t ready to talk to him again. However when Dean came to his house to see if him and Cas could talk, he started to make his way down the stairs to talk until he saw Anna slam the door in his face.  
“Anna that was unnecessary” Castiel sighed  
“He’s being a total d-bag Cas, you shouldn’t put up with him if he’s going to be like that.” Anna retorted  
“Anna. This is my business, stay out of it, okay?”  
Anna scoffed and walked off. Castiel went to open the door to talk to Dean but he was already pulling out of their drive way and driving off. He leant against the door frame and sighed. This was going to get complicated. He didn’t like not talking to Dean, he felt like his day was missing something. Castiel knew for a long time that his feelings for Dean weren’t completely platonic. He knew that he kind of liked Dean in more than a we’re bestfriends and have been forever kind of way. He always kept his feelings hidden away from Dean as he didn’t want Dean to freak out. What if Dean found out?! What if that’s why Dean said those things to him?   
“Oh shit no, this is bad.” Cas turned off his phone and lay in bed for the rest of the day. He was going to loose his bestfriend because he couldn’t keep his feelings inside of him. When he turned on his phone the following day he had 27 new texts from Dean  
‘Cas?’  
‘You there?’  
‘Can we please talk, I’m sorry about what I said.’  
‘Are you sleeping or something’  
‘Cas’  
‘Oh come on, reply.’  
‘Stop being a baby, you know I didn’t mean that shit I said’  
‘Fine.’  
‘Don’t reply then.’  
And many more texts similar to those. Cas wasn’t sure if Dean was angry still, so he texted him   
‘My phone was off. If you want to talk meet me in the park in 10 minutes.’  
The park was one of their favourite places to hang out when they were younger. They spent hours upon hours there, just talking with each other.  
Cas went to the fridge to get a glass of water where Naomi and Chuck were making some food.   
“I’m going to the park to meet up with Dean, I’ll be back later.” Cas told them as he was walking out the door.   
“Okay” was all Naomi said.  
Castiel nodded. He checked his phone again and saw a text from Dean  
‘Oh so now you want to talk? After ignoring me for almost 2 days? Why should I?’  
Castiel rolled his eyes as he read the text. Why was Dean being so immature? It was him who started the fight not Castiel.  
‘If you want to talk, I’ll be at the park. Come or don’t come, whatever.’  
He sent the text knowing it was risky. He was fairly certain Dean would show up however.

Castiel sat on the swing set by himself waiting to see if Dean would actually show up. He was digging his feet around in the dirt and swinging back and forth shallowly. He didn’t hear footsteps approach him; he was too lost in his own little world. He didn’t realise that Dean was sitting in the swing to his left. Dean sighed and Castiel was thrown out of his thoughts and back to reality. He slowly looked over with an emotionless mask on his face. Dean met his eyes and gave him a small smile, if it could even be called a smile. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly but his eyes showed no emotion.  
“Hey Cas”  
“Dean.”  
Castiel was still hurt at how Dean had treated him.   
“Cas look. I’m sorry about how I treated you okay? It wasn’t right and you didn’t do anything wrong. I just kinda, I dunno man. I’m sorry okay.”  
“Dean I hope you understand that what you said was extremely hurtful to me. Last time I checked bestfriends don’t treat each other like that.”  
“I know dude and I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I was just really tired and wasn’t thinking straight.”  
“Okay.”  
“So we good?”  
“I guess.”  
Dean nodded. Castiel was relieved that Dean didn’t find out his secret.  
“So uh, do you want to maybe stay at mine tonight then?”  
Cas felt like they needed some time apart from each other. Maybe the reason why Dean acted like he did is because he was getting sick of Castiel.  
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just stay home tonight I think.”  
“Are you sure? Mom’s making apple pie tonight”  
Castiel chuckled, Dean and his pie. He didn’t say anything back to that. He got lost in his thoughts again. What if Dean really was getting sick of him? 10 years was a really long time for a friendship so it would be fair enough he supposes. He didn’t want to loose Dean as his bestfriend, but if it made Dean happy then he guessed it was okay.   
“Cas?”  
Cas looked up at Dean  
“Did you hear what I’ve been saying?”  
Cas shook his head.  
“Alright then.. I guess I’ll get going. See you later Cas.” Dean said as he got up to leave.  
“Dean wait. Are you getting sick of me?”  
Dean turned around. He had a frown on his face  
“What? Cas no. I promise.”  
Cas nodded a couple of times.   
“Okay, just making sure.”  
Dean nodded once at him.  
“So, how about that pie?”  
Castiel smiled at him, stood up and walked over to where Dean was standing waiting for him to catch up. They walked in an uncomfortable silence back to Dean’s house.   
“Castiel! It’s lovely to see you again!”  
As always, Castiel was greeted by Mary’s cheerful tone. He smiled back at her  
“Thankyou Mary, it’s lovely to see you too”  
The two talked amongst each other for a while until Dean interrupted.  
“Mooooooooom where’s the pie?”  
“It’s on the bench cooling down sweetie”  
Dean grinned and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a knife and cut him and Cas both a slice of his Mothers wonderful apple pie.   
“Careful Dean, it’s still hot.” Mary warned Dean  
However Dean didn’t listen to her. Nothing was stopping Dean from devouring his pie. That was a stupid idea though, seeing as he burnt his tongue within the first 10 seconds of putting the pie in his mouth.   
“FUCK” He yelled  
“Dean! Language! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Mary scolded Dean.   
He walked back into the lounge room with his and Cas’s pie only to see Cas and Sam snickering at him. He glared at them both and started to walk up the stairs.  
“Fine, no pie for you Cas”  
“Dean give me the pie” Cas’s voice sounded stern but he heard the sliver of humour in it.   
Dean kept walking up the stairs and walked into his room. Castiel sighed and walked up the stairs to Dean’s room. By the time he had made it to Dean’s room, Dean had already finished his slice of pie and was about to start on Castiel’s until he lunged forward to steal his pie back from Dean’s greedy hands. Dean grinned and winked at him  
“Just in time angel boy”  
“Dean how much longer will you insist on calling me that. It’s not my fault my parents named me after the Angel of Thursday”  
“It suits you”  
Castiel glared and flipped him off in return. He waited for his pie to cool down for a while before taking some on a spoon and eating it. Mary’s pie really was the best. He sighed contently while he continued to eat the rest of his pie. After he was done he lay on Dean’s bed and Dean lay across from him. They were both deep in thought when Mary knocked on the door asking if Cas was staying for dinner. He felt like he should go home and spend some time with his family seeing as he was with Dean’s family most of the time.   
“No thankyou Mary, thankyou for the offer though”  
Dean didn’t bother to hide his disappointment. He really was starting to feel like he was in love with his bestfriend.   
Castiel noticed the sour look on his face and nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.  
“Are you alright Dean?”  
“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine, I was just thinking about some stuff that’s all.”  
“Alright, if you’re sure.”  
Dean smiled at him. Castiel loved his smile, but this wasn’t a genuine smile. He could tell that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.   
“Well, I might go. I’ll see you later Dean.”  
“Oh okay. See ya Cas”  
And with that Castiel walked out of the Winchester household leaving Dean alone with his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dean sighed, he was fucked. He was so far gone on his best friend; he couldn’t stop thinking about him, even when he was in the same room as him. He needed help on this, the only person who he trusted as much as he trusted Cas was Sam, and Sam was pretty smart for his age.   
“Sammy, get your ass in here” Dean yelled to get his brothers attention.  
He heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Dean shook his head and smiled   
“Freaking moose” he muttered to himself.   
Sam walks in and looks at Dean with a raised eye brow.   
“what’s up?”  
“Sammy, I think I have feelings for Cas..”  
“Wow, shock, horror.” Sam retorted bluntly  
“Shut up Sam this is serious okay.”  
“Have you seriously only just realised your feelings for Cas? I honestly kinda already thought that you two were a thing. I know I’m not the only one either.”  
“What?”  
“Dean. You and Cas have been bestfriends since forever and you’re only just starting to realise that you two are hopelessly in love with each other? We’ve all seen the way you look at him and how he looks at you.”  
“But I’m meant to be straight?”  
“Well Dean, sorry to break it to you. But you’re kinda not.”  
Dean groans and lies back on his bed. How could Sam know that he’s had feelings for Cas for so long? He replays Sam’s words  
“Wait. You think that Cas likes me too?”  
“Uh well yeah, the guy has put up with you for 10 years”  
Dean flipped him off. He needed to have a talk with Cas about this. It had to be in person otherwise Dean would make up an excuse to not talk about it. He decided he’d text Cas to ask him to meet up.

‘Hey Cas. You wanna hang out tomorrow? We kinda need to talk about something’

Dean knew that was a risky text but he needed to see what Cas’s reaction would be. No less that a minute later he received a text back from him

‘Sure Dean, when and where?’

Dean sighed, they couldn’t talk here without getting interrupted, so he brainstormed places where they could talk. He eventually thought of the perfect place for him to confess his feelings for his bestfriend.

‘Uh, the park around 6?’

The park is where he and Cas spent most of their childhood, and 5 would be the perfect time. The sun would be starting to set at that time, giving it more of a romantic vibe. After, if things went well then maybe they could go to the local diner ‘The Roadhouse’ He felt his phone vibrate

‘Sure thing, Dean. See you then.’

Dean felt his nerves begin to rise. He couldn’t concentrate and his mother was starting to worry.  
“Dean. Dean? DEAN.”  
“Uh yeah what sorry zoned out for a bit there.”  
“I noticed that sweetheart. Are you alright?”  
“Yeah I’m fine just tired. I’m going to go up to my room for the night if that’s alright. Love you, goodnight”  
“Alright darling, love you too, sleep well.”  
Dean smiled at Mary over his shoulder as he walked up the stairs. He went to the bathroom to shower. After he stripped down to his boxers he ran his hands over his face and sighed. There was no way he was getting a decent amount of sleep tonight. He’d just have to make do though. He got in the shower and let the hot water relax his body. He washed himself down and turned off the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist before going to his bedroom. He changed into a pair of sweat pants and lay down on his bed. He checked his phone to see the time and if he had any messages. 9:47. He closed his phone seeing as he had no texts. He rolled on his side before closing his eyes and trying to sleep. He tossed and turned for hours before he heard his phone vibrate. He opened the message to see that it was from Cas.

‘Should I be worried about what you want to talk to me about?’

I frowned and replied, not wanting to give too much away.

‘Nah Cas, just want to hang out. Nothing to worry about’

He hoped that it would be okay and Cas would stop thinking about it. 

‘Hm if you say so Dean. I’m going to sleep, goodnight, Dean.’

Lucky bastard, at least he can sleep, Dean thought to himself.

‘Night Cas’ was all he replied with.

He checked the time before he closed his phone. 2:53 a.m.   
‘Shit I better try to sleep soon or I’m not going to be able to deal with my emotions.’ Dean told himself. With that, he rolled over and tried to sleep. Only when he shut his eyes, the only image which came to his mind was a certain pair of ocean-blue eyes, full pink lips, pale face and raven hair. 

When Dean woke up that morning at 9:30 he felt some what refreshed. He stretched and clicked his back. He checked his phone for messages but it was dead due to no battery power. He sighed and decided he’d put it on charge later. Right now his stomach was taking full control of his body. He strolled down to the kitchen and grabbed a mug and poured himself some coffee. Mary was busy making breakfast for her family like she always did on a Saturday morning. Dean decided that he’d try and work a few hours at Bobby’s Garage to try and clear his mind. However when he got there Bobby told him to go home and enjoy the day. Dean sighed in defeat and started the walk back. Dean couldn’t wait to get the Impala. John had said that when he turns 16 and gets his license, the car was all his. Although every now and then he took the 1967 Chevy Impala out just to admire her. By the time he got home it was close to 11 am. Dean had some left over pancakes that Mary had kept safe from Sam until he came home. He talked with Mary and John for a while before heading up to Sam’s room.  
“Hey man, I just want to uh, thank you for always being there when I need you. It uh, means a lot to me, so yeah, thanks dude.”  
“It’s fine Dean, that’s what brothers are for.”  
“Okay chick flick moment over.”  
“Ah that’s the Dean I know. Incapable of dealing with any form of emotion.”  
“Shut up, bitch.”  
“Jerk”

Later that day, the Winchesters were in the lounge watching tv, when there was a knock at the door. Nobody knew who it could be so they made Dean get up and answer it. When he opened the door he saw a very upset looking Charlie. Her eyes were red, bloodshot and puffy. She looked like she had been crying for a long time.  
“What’s wrong Charles? Do I need to kill somebody?” Dean asked her, giving her the famous Winchester grin trying to lighten the mood. However as soon as Dean said it, Charlie burst into tears again and wrapped her arms around Dean, he hugged her back tightly and that’s when he realised that she had bags with her. He whispered into her ear that it would be okay and kissed her hair. He thought of Charlie as a little sister and he would hurt anybody who had made her this upset.  
“My pa.. Parents are.. They were in a car crash and they.. They were ki..Killed” Charlie let out during strangled sobs. Deans eyes widened in horror. His Aunt and Uncle were dead. How was Mary going to react to this? Her sister was dead. Dean pulled her even closer. By this stage the rest of the Winchesters were at the door wondering what was wrong with Charlie.  
“Charlie honey why don’t you come inside and tell us what’s wrong?” Mary asked with her soft mothering tone.   
Charlie nodded and made her way inside. John and Sam grabbing her bags while Dean was helping her to the living room. He helped her to sit on the couch before sitting down next to her and draping an arm across her shoulders. She put her face in her hands and took a few deep breaths. Mary was looking at her nervously.   
“My Mum and Dad were killed in a crash by a drunk driver. I found out this morning and I had no where else to go, so I drove here.” Charlie started to break down into heavy sobs after that. Mary’s face went ghostly pale as she stood up and walked out of the room. John following closely behind. Sam made his way to sit next to Charlie on the couch so he could give her a hug. They lost track of time while they were comforting Charlie. They were both worried about their Mom but John was in there with her making sure she was okay. Charlie had stopped sobbing after a few hours but was still letting out tears and shaky breaths. By the time that Dean’s stomach started to rumble it had gotten dark. He went to the kitchen to make some dinner. He found left overs in the fridge and put them in the microwave to heat them up. He ran upstairs to find his phone. He put it on charge and turned it on. He had 11 unread texts, 4 from Charlie and 7 from Castiel.   
“Oh shit.”  
He checked the time, 7:30. He had completely forgotten about meeting Cas in the park after Charlie came. He sprinted out of the house and ran to the park as fast as he could. He searched the whole park but he didn’t find any trace of Castiel. Dean sighed as he sat down on one of the swings, hanging his head down. He opened the texts from Charlie first.

‘Dean can I come over?’  
‘Dean I really need you right now’  
‘Where are you?’  
‘My parents were just killed in a car crash’

Dean went to throw his phone in frustration when he remembered he still had texts from Castiel.

‘I’m getting ready to leave’  
‘Just left’  
‘Hurry up’  
‘Are you still coming?’  
‘Dean?’  
‘Seriously? Standing me up?’  
‘You know what? Fuck you Dean. I don’t need this. You were the person who wanted to meet up in the first place. I waited for you for over an hour. If this was some joke you’re not funny. Whatever. See you around.’

“Oh for fucks sakes.” Dean yells at nothing in particular. He checks when Castiel sent that text. 7:20. Dean missed him by 10 minutes. He tried to call Castiel but it went straight to voice mail. He tried another 10 times. He threw his phone in frustration, it went pretty far and he was almost positive the screen would be cracked. He ruined his chance to tell his bestfriend how he really felt. He had an excuse though. Family always comes first with the Winchesters, but Cas is pretty much family. He thought about what Castiel said. He could almost hear the venom in the text. Why was everything bad happening today? He lost his Aunt and Uncle, and now he’s pretty sure he lost Castiel, his bestfriend of almost 10 years. Speaking of 10 years, it was almost coming up to their 10 year anniversary of being bestfriends. August the 12th was their 10 years. It made it sound like they were some married couple celebrating 10 years of marriage. Dean sighed. He felt tears start to prickle at his eyes. He scrubbed his hands up and down his face trying to understand the situation he was in at the moment. All he knew is that Charlie needed him right now. So he stood up and walked over to where his phone was lying on the ground. Picked it up to inspect the damage. To his surprise there was very minimal damage, the screen wasn’t cracked at least. He had a text from Sam asking where he was, he texted him back saying he’ll explain when he’s back.

It was a quiet walk home for Dean. He walked back in the dark thinking about what was happening. He decided it would be a good idea to text Cas telling him why he wasn’t there. Just in case it made a difference.

‘Listen Cas, I’m so sorry that I didn’t make it. Charlie’s parents died this morning and she had nowhere else to go so she came to our house. I lost track of time while I was trying to comfort her and if it makes it any better I turned up to the park anyways, but you had left 10 minutes before I got there. I’m so sorry Cas, what I had to say was really important. I feel like a dick right now. I don’t want to lose you, I know I’ve been acting like a Class A d-bag but I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I understand if you’re still really mad at me and that’s fair enough, just please, I can’t loose you.’

Dean bit his lip and sent the text. He felt his phone vibrate, but it wasn’t a text it was a call.  
“Hello?”  
“Dean.”  
“Cas, hey man, I’m so-“  
“It’s Castiel.”  
“Oh, okay..”  
“Is Charlie okay?”  
“Uh, no not really, she’s pretty torn up about it.”  
“Well that’s understandable. Tell her that she can come to my house if she needs to and that I’m here for her.”  
“Yeah sure, I’ll tell her.”

And with that, Castiel hung up. No goodbye or anything.  
“Oh man he is pissed off.” Dean sighed to himself.  
He can’t think of any time when Cas told him to use his full name. It was Dean who first called Castiel Cas and it’s been that way ever since. Dean had officially blown his chances with Castiel. He shoved his phone back into his pocket as he walked up the stairs and into his house. He was greeted by curious looks from Charlie and Sam. Charlie didn’t appear to be crying anymore, but instead sending him a look which said ‘Details’.   
“I’ve officially ruined everything with Castiel. I was meant to meet him but I totally forgot because I was looking after you and I was going to tell him how I felt but he left by the time I got there and now he hates me and I’ve ruined every chance that I could have had with him and oh god I’ve lost Castiel.”  
“Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like Castiel to get angry at something like that. Are you sure you’re not just over reacting?” Sam asked  
“Dude, I called him Cas and he told me it was ‘Castiel’.”   
“Oh wow.. Cas really is pissed.. Want me to talk to him?”  
“Nah just leave it. I’ll give him space.”   
Sam nodded and gave Dean a sympathetic smile. 

While that exchange was going on, Charlie felt like she needed to talk to Cas for Dean. She sent him a quick text

‘Hey Cas, please don’t be mad at Dean, he was just trying to be a good family member and look after me. Please give him another chance, he’s so cut up, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him like this.’

Charlie re-reads it a couple of times before she hits send. She then follows the brothers into the kitchen for dinner. When Charlie next checks her phone she sees a new text from Castiel.

‘I understand your concern for mine and Dean’s friendship but he’s been acting different lately and I don’t understand why. It’s almost as if he doesn’t like me anymore.’

Charlie smirked at that, knowing that it was the complete opposite. She calls Dean into the room to ask him something.  
“Hey Dean, if I ask you something you’ll be completely honest with me won’t you?”  
“Uh, yeah sure Charlie, what is it?”  
“Are you in love with Cas?”  
Dean opens his mouth to reply, his cheeks going red.   
“Ha, no way, I’m straight. Did you forget that they call me Womanizer Winchester?”  
“Dean, I said be honest.”  
Dean sighed reluctantly.   
“Uh yeah fine, I think I am. Honestly I’ve been acting like a dick around him because I don’t want him to find out in case he freaks out. I know he’s bi and all, but I just don’t think he’d ever see me like that, you know?”  
“You just need to talk to him and sort everything out.”  
“Charlie, he won’t talk to me. I’ve texted him so many times and called him so many times somebody would probably think I’m obsessed with the guy.”  
“I’m sure he’ll come around Dean. It’ll be fine.”  
Dean sighed again  
“Yeah I hope so, I don’t think I could deal with loosing him.”

Charlie gave him a sympathetic smile and he walked away. She got out her phone and texted Cas to come to the Winchester house tomorrow morning around 10. Mary and John are going away for a few days so it’ll just be Dean, Sam and Charlie. The three of them had a movie night that night, watching all of the Star Wars movies before falling asleep in the lounge. 

Dean woke up the next morning to somebody knocking on the door. He groaned and looked to see if the other two were awake yet. Upon realising that they were both still asleep, he slowly got up and made his way towards the door. When he opened it, he saw a familiar look of blue eyes, black hair and those full, pink lips. Castiel looked sharp and tidy as always leaving Dean to feel uncomfortable in his pyjama pants. Where had his shirt gone? He must have lost it sometime during the night due to him over-heating. Castiel carefully kept his eyes on Dean’s face, not daring to look at Dean’s chest.   
“Uh hey Cas.. Tiel..” Dean had forgotten that he told him not to call him Cas anymore.  
“Charlie told me to come around today.”  
“Oh, okay, I’ll uh, go get her.”  
Dean walked back to the lounge area only to find that Sam and Charlie had disappeared. He suddenly realised that Charlie had set this up. She gave Dean the opportunity to express his feelings towards Castiel.   
“I have no idea where those two disappeared off to, but uh can we maybe talk?”  
“Depends, are you actually going to show up this time or leave me to wait alone again.”  
“Uh Cas, hate to break it to you, but we’re in my house.. And together already. Would be kinda hard to bail now.”  
Cas didn’t say anything but shot a glare at him. If looks could kill, Dean would’ve been dead a long time ago. Dean started to walk to the stairs to see if Castiel would follow him. He heard Cas sigh as if he was in the middle of a debate with himself, trying to figure out if he should hear what Dean has to say or be a total drama queen and storm out of the house. Reluctantly Castiel follows Dean. When they’re both in the room, Dean shuts the door, not wanting Sammy or Charlie to hear any of this. When he turned around to face Castiel, he was met by Cas staring intently at him, waiting for him to say something. Dean took a deep breath, this was it.  
“Look Cas, we’ve been bestfriends since forever right?”  
“I guess so.” Dammit, Cas was being stubborn.  
“No, we have been. We’ve been bestfriends for almost 10 years, and we’ve never had a fight before. I don’t know what this is, but it’s bullshit. I know that it was my fault cause I was acting like a dick to you, but I’ve apologised and I know that I didn’t turn up to meet you last night but you know what’s going on with Charlie, she’s like a sister to me, so I’m trying to be a good brother to her.”  
“You once told me that we were like family Dean.”  
“I know I said that Cas, but Charlie’s blood.”  
“You also told me that you didn’t have to be blood to be a Winchester.”  
Castiel was making this so much harder than it needed to be. He was pretty much saying he chose Charlie over him. He just lost track of time.  
“I know I said that, Castiel.” Dean was starting to get angry, so he used Cas’s full name. Cas quirked an eyebrow at that.  
“Oh wow Dean, using my full name. I’m so scared. What are you, my mother?”  
Dean rolled his eyes at that. He sat down on the bed, where Cas was laying down, now facing the wall. Dean rested his head in his hands. He had screwed this up with Cas more than he thought. He lay down next to Castiel, making sure there was at least a 50cm gap. He silently thanked his parents for buying him the Queen sized bed instead of the double. He closed his eyes for a while. He opened them again when he heard Castiel’s soft tone.  
“Dean what happened to us? We used to be so close and for the past couple of days we don’t talk unless we’re yelling at each other or arguing.”  
“Maybe we’re like an old married couple, who sometimes hate each other but at the end of the day, they’d still do anything to make sure the other was okay.” Dean was trying to make light of the situation when he heard Cas sniffle.  
“Oh shit Cas are you crying?”  
Cas didn’t say anything but he wiped his eyes.  
“Cas I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m so sorry man. I keep fucking it up even more.”  
He waited for Castiel’s reply. He didn’t reply for a few minutes, like he was deep in thought.  
“Dean, you’re not thinking about not being friends anymore, are you?”  
“What? No way Cas. You’re probably the best thing that’s happened to me and I’m not letting you go, ever. No matter how much we piss each other off.”  
“Ugh, I’m not meant to cry. I’m meant to be the Novak who doesn’t show emotion.”  
“Hey, men cry. I cry sometimes.”  
Castiel chuckled at that. Dean felt a smile grace his face. He felt good about making his friend happy.  
“But in all seriousness, are we good?” He asked Cas, trying to sound calm and confident, but in reality if Castiel had said no, he thinks his heart might have shattered.  
“Yeah Dean, we’re as you say, good”  
“Alright well in that case, lets go downstairs so I can get my morning caffeine dosage, and check on Charlie and Sammy.”  
Dean got up and Cas followed up downstairs. Surely enough Sam and Charlie were there, talking amongst themselves, which had abruptly stopped as soon as Dean and Cas walked in. Cas went straight for the coffee pot while Dean hunted for food in the fridge. When Dean finally got out cereal for the both of them, and Castiel had made coffee for the two of them, Charlie finally broke the silence.   
“So have you two kissed at made up yet?”  
Cas looked at her before replying.   
“No, I still dislike him.” Dead panned as ever.   
Dean looked at him with wide eyes.  
“Dude, what? We just had a freaking chick flick moment and you’re still pissed at me? The fuck man?”   
Sammy decided to join in at that time.   
“Uh Dean, I think he was being sarcastic”   
Dean looked over to Cas who was smirking into his coffee cup. Dean flipped him off with a scowl before storming out of the kitchen and back into his bedroom. Castiel sighed and got up to follow him. He heard Sammy mutter something about how they argue like an ‘old, married couple.’ Castiel smirked again at that. The brothers really did share the same thoughts. Dean’s door was shut when he got there, however Cas barged right in. He found Dean sitting on his bed against the wall scowling.  
“Dean, you’re aware it was a joke, right?”  
“It wasn’t a funny one.”  
“Oh for fucks sakes Dean. We just resolved our argument and now we’re having another one? This friendship isn’t going to last much longer if this keeps up.”   
Dean’s face turned from a scowl to a sad frown.  
“Well, I guess it would be better to get it over and down with now, so it won’t hurt as much.” Dean said in a softer tone.  
“Dean honestly. I’m not going to end this friendship despite what I previously said. We’re just going through a rough patch. Old, married couple right?”  
“You’ll end up leaving me. You’ll go off with your popular friends in high school and we won’t talk anymore.”  
“Dean don’t be stupid. Does 10 years not mean anything to you? If I was going to ditch you, I would’ve done it a long time ago. I’m not going to leave you alright? How do I know that you’re not going to leave me, huh?”  
“Because you’re Cas! I’ve been relying on you for pretty much 10 years. Nobody could replace you ever because you’re Cas. You’re smart, funny, sarcastic, and witty but you hardly understand any references, you’re irritating and so formal and you can drive me crazy sometimes man, but you’re Cas. You’re just you. And I wouldn’t leave that because I guess that you’re kind of apart of me now. And if you tell anybody I just said that, I will seriously hurt you.”  
Castiel stared at him with wide eyes. He felt his mouth starting to stretch into a smile.   
“Cas please say something before I grow a vagina”  
“That was probably the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me, thank you Dean.”  
“You’re welcome Cas”  
They lay there for a while, just enjoying each others silent company until Castiel sat up and stretched. Dean tried not to look at the patch of skin which showed when he stretched his arms up.  
“I should get going, I promised I’d be attending the family lunch.”  
“Alright, see ya Cas. Come around again soon alright?”  
“Yeah, I’ll text you”  
Dean nodded and smiled at him as he left. Dean went to roll over but felt something hard against his ribs. He looked down to find out that it was Cas’s phone. He groaned and ran downstairs to try and catch Cas before he was too far away. He was met by Charlie at the door asking him if he told Cas he loved him. He shook his head and Charlie gave him a bitchface. Damn he’d have to limit the time Sam and Charlie spent together.   
“Dean you have to tell him now or you never will.” Dean clenched his jaw, knowing she was right. She patted his shoulder and opened the door for him. He didn’t look back, he just started to run towards Cas’s house. He saw him about 200meters away from him.   
“CAS” he yelled out. Castiel immediately turned around to see why Dean was running after him shouting his name. When Dean reached him, he looked pretty puffed.  
“Is there a problem, Dean?”  
“Uh yeah, actually there is.” Castiel immediately got a pissed off look on his face.  
“Oh what now”. This was it. This was finally the time that Dean would tell Castiel how he felt. He held out his hand to show Castiel his phone  
“You left your phone at my house, oh and I think I’m in love you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:  
Castiel’s POV

The words re-played in my mind  
“I think I’m in love with you”  
My eyes widened and my mouth opened. Dean was in love with me? I thought he was straight?   
“Uh Cas, can you say something, I’m kinda feeling a bit nervous now..”  
“Wh..What?”  
“Ha yeah..”  
“Well okay then”  
“Wait what? That’s all you have to say after I confessed my biggest secret to you?”  
“Well see, I think I’m in love with you too but we have a big of a problem here”  
Dean raised an eyebrow at me  
“Wait, did you just say you love me too?”  
“No, I said I think I’m in love with you, two completely different things, Dean.”  
“Cas, love is love.”   
“No Dean, I love my family, but I’m in love with you. As I said, two completely different things.”  
“Uh right okay, so what’s the problem.”  
“We’re two guys, about to start their senior year in high school. Not saying that I care about people’s opinions, but I really need to be concentrating on school and I can’t afford to have people messing with me. You know how important getting into college is to me.”  
Dean let his face fall. He looked down and nodded before saying  
“So does that mean we can’t be together then?”  
“Not at the moment though. I promise that as soon as the Graduation ceremony has finished I will run up to you and start making out with you in front of all those people, if we still have the same feelings for one another that is.”  
Dean smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes  
“Okay Cas, if that’s what you want, but I’ll be holding you to that I hope you know.”  
I chuckled and nodded.  
“Wait, so this won’t make it awkward between us will it? I can’t loose you Cas” Dean asked  
“Not unless you want things to be awkward. I’m perfectly okay with still being best friends. As long as you don’t act like a dick, I’ll be happy.”  
“Deal.”  
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow night then.”  
“What?”  
“We’re having a movie night. You, Charlie, Sam and I. Charlie gets to choose the movies. I thought Charlie would have mentioned it to you?”  
“Don’t think she did. I have to work tomorrow so I’ll be home around 5:30, so come over anytime.”  
“I’m planning on taking Charlie shopping in the morning, and by shopping I mean to the comic book shop, so I don’t know when I’ll be back. Anyways I have to go I’ll be late home. Bye Dean.”  
“Cya Cas”

I turned and walked away wondering how I managed to play it so cool during that conversation. On the inside I was bursting. Dean Winchester was in love with me. The ‘Womanizer Winchester’ was no longer a womanizer. I smirked to myself, feeling somewhat proud of turning Dean. I couldn’t help but wonder if we would actually remain best friends or if our feelings would get in the way. As much as I really wanted to be with Dean, study always came first.

I walked into my house expecting to see everybody sitting at the table waiting for me, but instead I was greeted by the sounds of my family yelling at each other.   
“CAN YOU STOP TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYBODY MICHAEL HONESTLY?”  
“WELL, LUCIFER IF YOU WEREN’T SO IMMATURE THEN MAYBE, JUST MAYBE I WOULDN’T HAVE TO LOOK AFTER YOU ALL THE TIME.”  
Ah, Michael and Lucifer having one of their famous shouting matches. I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen to find Gabriel with his hand in the cookie jar.   
“Mum and Dad got sick of their arguing and went out”  
“Wow, that’s so unusual for them. Run away from the problems instead of dealing with them”  
“Aw Cassie, aren’t you a ball of sunshine.”  
“Hey uh Gabe, can I tell you something?”  
“If you can’t come to me, who can you go to?”  
“Dean and others”  
“Alright alright I get it. If you can go to them why don’t you?”  
I sighed.  
“Well, because it’s about him Gabriel.”  
“Oooohhh Cassie’s got gossip for me. Did he finally announce his undying love for you”   
I stared at him and bit my lip.   
“Oh my god he did! He finally told you, after all these years! What did you say? Did you tell him you loved him? Are you two a thing now? Oh I’m so excited for you Cassie!”  
“Um well, I told him the feelings are returned but we can’t do anything about it because of my school work and trying to get into college.”  
“Seriously bro? You pretty much threw the opportunity to have a relationship with Dean Winchester because you’re worried that he might distract you from your education? He has to worry about getting into college as well. You’ve been pinning after him for so long Cassie, I just don’t understand why you’re giving him up now?”  
“I don’t want to be his little experiment to see if he likes guys. I just don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want him to get hurt.”  
“Castiel you’re my baby brother and I love you, but you’re an idiot sometimes.”  
I sighed and nodded before going up to my room. I went to open my door when I felt something sticky on the door handle. I bought my hand closer to my face to see what it was. Peanut butter. Gabriel was going pay for this, but for the moment I gave up and walked into my room before firmly shutting the door behind me.  
I lay down on my bed and thought over what Gabriel said. I told Dean that I’m willing to wait if he is? But he is known for not being good with feelings so maybe he won’t wait. I probably am just his little experiment, but he did say he loved me? Feelings are so complicated. I did really like Dean, and I know I’ll still love him by the time Graduation comes around. It’s only a couple more years.   
I continue to lie around on my bed until my door opens.   
“Ugh what is that on your door? Probably Gabriel. Sorry Castiel your father and I went out to lunch.”  
“Yeah I know, because Michael and Luc were fighting and you couldn’t be bothered doing your job as parents and sorting it out. But that’s okay, we’re used to it by now.”  
Naomi sighed at that  
“Castiel you know we cannot control those two. We just simply try and avoid the situation.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“Dinner will be ready soon.”   
She turned around to look at me and opened her mouth to say something before deciding not to and walked out leaving the door open. I rolled my eyes and looked at the clock. 5:53 in the afternoon. How long had I been thinking? I get up and walk downstairs to the kitchen to get dinner. I find my family sitting around the dinner table with irritated expressions on their faces. Oh great, we missed out on family lunch so it’s turned into family dinner. I tried to turn and walk away before anybody saw me  
“Castiel. Come back here, we are going to have a nice family dinner.”  
I hesitantly turned around and walked back into the kitchen and sat down. The meal started off with an awkward silence before Naomi tried to make conversation.  
“So Castiel, what did you get up to today”  
“Oh yes Cassie, tell us all what happened today.” Gabriel gave me a cheeky smile and I shot a glare back at him.  
“I was at Dean’s for the morning.”  
“Oh Dean hasn’t been around in a while”  
“Yeah I’m staying at his tomorrow night”  
This is when his father, Chuck decided to get involved.  
“Not without asking for permission, manners Castiel.”  
“Can I please stay at Dean’s tomorrow night?”  
Chuck nodded at me and I nodded back.   
After that conversation the family ate in silence for the rest of the dinner. After the table was cleared I volunteered to do the dishes, trying to keep my mind off of Dean and what had happened today. Gabriel must have sensed something was weird because he walked up to me giving me a questioning look.   
“Gabe I really don’t want to talk about it. Not tonight.” He nodded and walked off. I was surprised that he gave up that easily. I finished washing the dishes and walked up to my room, only to find Anna sitting on my bed with her head down. I sighed knowing why Gabriel gave up so easily.   
“Anna, I don’t want to talk about it”  
She looked up at me and I saw the tears in her eyes. I rushed over to her side and hugged her.   
“Anna what’s wrong?”  
“My boyfriend just dumped me Cas”   
I assumed that it would be best for her not to talk about it so I continued hugging her and kissed her hair. She eventually stopped crying and sat up straight.   
“I’m going to go make some tea”  
“No don’t worry, I’ll get it. If anybody else sees you like this you know how they’ll react. I’ll be back in a second.” I got up and walked back down to the kitchen to make Anna tea. I waited for the kettle to boil and I put a tea bag in her favourite mug.   
“I didn’t know you liked Tea Castiel, I thought you were more of a coffee person.” I heard my father say  
“Anna wanted tea”   
“Castiel are you okay? You’ve been acting distant, well more distant than usual lately and you know that you can always come to me if you need help. I know that I’m not the worlds best father but I do care about you deeply. I hope you know that.”  
I smiled at him, a genuine smile.  
“Thanks Dad, I know that”  
He smiled and nodded again before getting back to his writing. I took Anna’s tea up to my room. By this stage she was lying on my bed under the covers  
“Gee Anna, make yourself at home”  
“Cas you have to be nice to me, I’m going through a break up. It’s pretty much law you have to be nice”  
I lay down next to her and handed her her tea. She took it and said thankyou in return.   
We lay in silence for a while, both our minds in different places. It was Anna who broke the silence first  
“You know I really thought he was the one. I saw myself marrying him, but I guess the feelings weren’t mutual.”  
“I wish that I could give you some advice but I’m not exactly the best person for relationship advice.”  
“I’m aware Cassie, stupid move to reject Dean by the way, and before you go getting angry at Gabriel, he didn’t tell me, I kind of eavesdropped, sorry.”  
“I just think it would be best for the moment, I need to focus on school and I doubt Dean really loves me Anna.”  
“Are you blind? You two have been head over heels about each other since we first moved here all those years ago. Whenever you two are away from each other you look as if somebody kicked your puppy. I’m not going to tell you that you should fix what happened but I do want you to happy Cassie, and I know that you’ll be happy with Dean. You two were pretty much made for each other.”  
I didn’t say anything back to that, I knew that I’d be happy with him but I felt like I need to focus on my education more.   
“You know, I always hoped that I would find a love like you and Dean have. I just hoped that I was smart enough to realise that sooner than you and Dean did”  
“I know that I’ll always have feelings for Dean, and I told him that I’ll be happy to wait until Graduation if he is.”  
“Alright Cassie, if that’s how you feel about this situation.”  
“It’s getting late we should sleep.”  
“Cas, can I stay in your room tonight? I don’t want to be alone right now and I need my little brother”  
“Sure Anna.”  
We lay there for about half an hour before I huffed and rolled over.  
“I can’t sleep. Do you want to watch a movie?”  
“Yes please. I vote for the Notebook, it’s never a bad time to watch the Notebook. Plus we can sulk about our pathetic love lives.”  
I chuckled at that and put the movie on. I lay back down as the intro started. That’s when Gabriel barged in with popcorn, a bag of candy and a DVD.   
“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to wake you two up and watch a movie together, but you’re already watching a movie. I bought ‘Casa Erotica’ if anybody else is up for that.”   
“We’re watching the Notebook” Anna and I replied at the same time. Gabriel rolled his eyes but lay down anyway. I smiled to myself, this was the first time in a while we had actually shared any kind of sibling moment, even if it was eating popcorn and watching the Notebook. We eventually all fell asleep comfortably around each other.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

When Cas woke up the next morning, he realised he had 10 minutes to get ready and go meet Charlie for their day out. He had to untangle himself from Gabriel who had spread every limb out over him and Anna. He climbed over his two siblings and into this bathroom for a quick shower. He considered asking Anna if she wanted to come with along to his and Charlie’s day out, but figured that Anna wouldn’t be into gaming. He quickly had his shower then slipped into a clean pair of boxers before exiting the bathroom. He looked over at his brother and sister with a smirk. Gabriel had spread out even more now. For him being so small he took up a lot of space. He quickly wrote a note to Anna saying that he was going to be out all day with Charlie and he’ll be back tomorrow and he can take her shopping if she wanted. He was feeling particularly nice to his red headed sisters lately, Charlie wasn’t his blood sister but they still looked out for each other as if they were related. 

Castiel walked over to his closet to see what he could quickly throw on. He bent over to pick up a pair of shorts before finding a black top to wear. When he stood back up and turned around he saw Gabriel had now woken up and was grinning mischievously at him.  
“Coming out of the closet are you Cassie?”  
“Oh wow Gabe that was original. Haven’t heard you use that one before.”   
Gabriel scowled at him for saying that. He lay back down on his stomach, his face in the pillow.  
“Say hi to Dean-o for me will you Cassie?”  
Castiel didn’t say anything, just rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. It was 10 am, and luckily the Winchesters lived about 5 minutes away. Normally Castiel wouldn’t be up before at least 11:30 am but he wanted to see Dean before he went to work. He grabbed the car keys and left the house. 

When he arrived at the Winchesters house, he knocked at the door once before walking in. The Winchester home was pretty much his home, he generally spent more time there than at his own house. He walked into the kitchen to see Charlie and Dean sitting at the table talking. Dean looked at him and gave him a forced smile.   
“Hey Cas, ready to go?”  
“Yeah, is it okay if we get food somewhere though? I haven’t had time to eat yet”  
“Neither have I, we’ll go to some café or something, sound alright?”  
“Sounds good.”  
“Oh, also can we drop Dean off at work?”  
“Yeah sure. Lets go.”  
So they all shuffle into Castiel’s Mercedes Coupe and head to Dean’s work. When they arrive there, Dean gets out quickly with a mumbled thank you. Castiel doesn’t understand why he’s been acting strange around him. He said yesterday that their friendship wouldn’t be awkward.   
“Uh Charlie, is Dean okay?”  
“Oh he’s pretty bummed about you rejecting him but he’ll get over it”  
Castiel frowned at that. He made it obvious that he wanted to be with Dean.  
“I wouldn’t worry about it Cas. He’ll be fine, I guess he’s still getting over it.”  
Castiel nodded but he gripped the steering wheel tighter. He didn’t realise that he would hurt Dean by saying that. Usually it takes a lot for Dean to be hurt by what somebody has said to him.

“Do you think he actually loves me, or am I just, you know, his little experiment?”  
“I know he feels something strong for you, might be love, might be infatuation, but only he can tell I guess. While we’re on the topic of you and Dean, I really wish that you’d give him a shot, even if it is just for the summer. Castiel you and I have both known that you’ve loved Dean for a long time. Possibly even since you first met him, but because you were so young you weren’t able to know what those feelings meant. You guys were totally my OTP. I’m not just saying this because Dean is pretty much like my brother, because you are too. I just want to see you both happy, and I know that you two would be happy. The looks you two give each other are so adorable. Apart from the eye sex. But I know how important school is to you. You’ve been aiming for the top Universities since I can even remember, and I totally get that I just wish that you would give Dean a chance, you know?”  
Castiel sighed.   
“I know Charlie, I really want to. I’ve been waiting for him to have some sort of feelings towards me which weren’t platonic, it’s just now we’re heading towards our senior year I feel that it’s important that I spend my time with school.”  
“Castiel we’re on our summer break. You don’t need to be worrying about school right now. Just give Dean a chance, please? Even if it’s just for the remainder of the summer holidays”  
Castiel thought about that for a while. He knew that Dean would make him happy. He had been waiting for Dean to like him for so long.   
“What happens when the summer holidays are over and I need to focus on my school?”  
“Then you take a step back. Still remain best friends but just not the romancey part.”  
“Okay. For the rest of the summer. I will have to make sure that Dean will be okay with this though.”  
“I’m pretty sure he will be Cas. I haven’t seen Dean so bummed out over anything before.”  
Castiel didn’t say anything but the words kept going through his mind. ‘I haven’t seen Dean so bummed out over anything’ He realised that he took Charlie out to make her feel better, not to talk about him and Dean.   
“So Charlie, you know you can cry around me. I just want you to be okay, or at least feel it for a while.”  
“I’m not okay. I’m really not. I just don’t think that the shock has hit me yet. I don’t think it’s real. I keep thinking that I’ll go home in a few days and see my Mum and Dad smiling and laughing. I guess this is the calm before the storm stage.”  
“I’m going to be here every step of the way, okay Charlie?”  
“I know Cas. And thankyou for taking me out by the way. It means too much to me.”  
“Anytime Charlie.”  
At that stage they had pulled up to their local shopping mall. Cas felt his stomach rumble and insisted they start with food. They settled for a small café and got pancakes and coffee.   
“So do you want to go clothes shopping as well as game shopping? ‘Cause you know, we’re kinda gay bestfriends.”  
Charlie laughed at that, and Castiel felt good for making her laugh. After they were done with their food, Castiel paid and they went off to find a clothing shop that Charlie found suitable. They found a gaming shop before they found a good clothing shop. Charlie looked around but she didn’t find anything that she liked or that she didn’t already have. Charlie decided that she needed to go to the comic book store so she could shop somewhere decent. As soon as they got there, Castiel lost track of Charlie. She had disappeared somewhere else. Cas decided that while he was there he may as well look around. He found a Darth Vader t-shirt and it reminded him of Dean. He loved the Star Wars movies although he’d never admit it. He went to look at them and found a few more Star Wars themed t-shirts. He eventually settled on buying a shirt which had Star Wars and a few planes on it. It looked old and comic book like. He figured Dean would like it. He went to the counter and brought it. He soon found Charlie hanging around in the comic book section. She had 2 shirts with her. One shirt had a Tardis on it, and the other was something about The Hobbit. Castiel never found the appeal of the Hobbit movie, something which irritated Charlie beyond belief.

Charlie started to walk towards the counter and got out her wallet. Castiel quickly handed the sales assistant his credit card.  
“Cas you didn’t have to do that. You taking me out and paying for our food was enough. Thank you though.”  
He just smiled at her. It was the least he could do. They walked around for a few more hours looking in shops and talking before Cas felt his stomach start to rumble again. He didn’t want to head back to the Winchester house just yet, so he decided that he and Charlie would have McDonalds and eat it at the lake 5 minutes from here. They both ordered the chicken nugget combo and headed towards the lake. It was beautiful. They both wished that they had both bought their swimmers. They walk ankle deep into the water and stay there in a comfortable silence. He was thrown out of his thoughts when Charlie started to splash him. He raised an eyebrow at her and she raised her hands in mock surrender. He started to splash her and she splashed him back. Charlie started to run away from Cas, going deeper into the lake. Before he knew it, Charlie dropped down into the water. Castiel started to freak out thinking that she had fallen and hurt herself before something grabbed his ankle. He screamed and tried to find out what it was. Seconds later Charlie emerged with a satisfied smirk on her face. That’s when she tackled him into the water so he was drenched now as well. They laughed and played in the water until they both started to get pruney. Before they got in the car, Castiel grabbed two towels out of the cars trunk. He lay them down on the seats before they got in. 

The drive back was mostly silent until Charlie broke it by thanking him for today. He smiled at her and told her it was his pleasure. She reached into one of the bags to find one of her new shirts. However when she pulled out the shirt, it wasn’t what she was looking for.   
“What’s this? I didn’t buy this?”  
Castiel looked quickly at the shirt before blushing  
“Oh uh, I did”  
“I didn’t know you liked Star Wars?”  
“I’ve actually never seen all of them, but it’s not for me.”  
“You haven’t seen all of them and yet you’re bestfriends with Dean? Oh who is it for then?”  
“Dean, it’s kind of a gift to apologise plus I thought of him when I saw it.”  
Charlie gave him an un readable look followed by a big smile.  
“He’ll love it Cas”  
“Hmm, I hope so”  
“Oh by the way you can shower when we get back, I think you still have a pair of sweats there, I’ll get one of Dean’s shirts for you to wear as well.”  
“Thank you Charlie”  
They arrived back at the Winchester house shortly after they finished their conversation. Luckily Castiel always kept a spare pair of boxers in his car, so he took them in with him and waited in the bathroom for Charlie to get him a clean shirt. She came back with a black shirt, but she had a smirk on her face. He didn’t take notice of it however. He quickly had his shower, knowing that Charlie was still soaked and had to shower as well, before getting out and changing. He changed into his boxers and the shirt. When he looked in the mirror he saw that the shirt was in fact the ACDC shirt that he brought Dean two years ago for his birthday. Dean loved that shirt, he always wore it. He emerged from the bathroom wearing the ACDC shirt and boxers. He figured Sam and Charlie wouldn’t care, seeing as it’s summer and hot anyway. 

He went downstairs to find either Sam or Charlie before getting called into the kitchen.   
“Hey Cas”  
“Hello Sam”  
“So, you and Dean?”  
“Um, not really.”  
“Please give him a chance man. You two were pretty much made for each other, everybody knows that”  
“I think that I’m going to give it a chance for the rest of the summer, before school starts back up”  
Sam grinned at that.  
“Thank you Cas. I really want you and Dean to be happy.”  
“Do you think he’ll be okay with it? Just for the summer bit, you know?”  
“I think he’ll be happy to get the chance to be with you”  
Castiel smiled and nodded at him.  
Charlie comes through the kitchen a few seconds later  
“Speaking of Dean, he’ll be finishing work pretty soon.”  
Castiel went to grab his car keys and put a button up shirt on over the top in case Dean got angry at him wearing his ACDC top as well as put on a pair of sweats.  
“Where are you going?”  
“I thought I’d go pick up Dean and we can sort things out.”  
“Good luck Cas”   
“Thank you Charlie, bye Sam”  
“Cya soon Cas”

When Castiel was arrived at Singers Yard to pick up Dean he noticed it was only 5:15. That meant he still had another 15 minutes to figure out what he was going to say. First of all, he had to apologise for hurting Dean. He got the shirt out of the bag and looked at it while thinking of what to say. When he looked up from the shirt he saw that Dean was walking out of Singers Yard. He caught Dean looking at the car before putting his head down. He tried walking straight past it until Cas rolled down the passenger side window   
“Uh Dean, I came to pick you up.”  
“It’s fine Cas, I’ll walk home.”  
“Dean get in the car.”  
“It’s fine Cas, really.”  
Castiel sighed, threw the shirt on the dashboard and got out of the car which he left still running. He walked around to Dean who had stopped to see what Castiel was doing. He opened the passenger door and pushed Dean in before awkwardly climbing over him to make sure that Dean wouldn’t try to escape. He then locked the doors.  
“Cas, locking the doors, that’s kind of creepy.”  
“I had to make sure that you wouldn’t try and get out.”  
Dean didn’t say anything back but instead reached for the shirt. He saw that it was a Star Wars shirt, he knew that Cas didn’t like the Star Wars movie, so he was confused to why he had it.  
“Didn’t know you liked Star Wars”  
“What? Oh, I don’t it’s not mine. I brought it for you today from a comic book store that Charlie and I were at. I saw it and it kind of reminded me of you. It’s also a gift to apologise.”  
“You didn’t have to”  
“Yeah well I did.”  
“Thanks”  
Castiel sighed  
“Look Dean, I’m sorry okay. I didn’t realise that you’d get so upset at what I said, and I’ve been thinking, I’m willing to give it a go for the rest of summer if you’re willing.”  
“I thought you thought school was more important than me.”  
“No actually that’s you twisting my words, but its summer. I’m not going to worry about school just yet.” Castiel said as he pulled up outside Dean’s house.  
“So you reject me yesterday and then today you decide that you want to be with me and expect me to be cool with that?”  
“I thought about it Dean, and I told you yesterday that I wanted to be with you.”  
“Well you know what Cas? Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you get everything that you want. You’ve been spoilt by your family for so long that you think that the world revolves around you. Isn’t that right?”  
Although Dean knew that Castiel wasn’t spoilt, and he was one of the nicest people he’s met, always thinking about other people, he couldn’t help but say that. He was pissed and he was saying the firs thing that came to mind. However when he saw how Castiel’s face changed from sad, to furious he tried to apologise.  
“Shit Cas I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that I-”  
Castiel cut him off before he could finish  
“Please get out Dean. I think this conversation is over.”  
Dean felt his stomach drop. He felt like shit, he said the first thing that came to his mouth because he was angry, at least Castiel was still being polite. Dean got out and watched as Castiel drove away. Dean was left feeling like absolute shit. He walked into his house and was instantly bombarded by Sam and Charlie.  
“What happened Dean? I thought you two were going to kiss and make up, and you know, get together?”  
“Yeah well I got angry, called him a spoilt rich kid and told him the world doesn’t revolve around him. He kicked me out of his car and he’s gone who knows where. Just leave me alone.”  
Before Dean could escape Charlie and Sam, he was grabbed by the wrist and thrown onto his sofa.   
“Uh uh Dean. You’re not getting out of this one. You and Cas are obviously meant for each other, you’re just both too stupid to see it for yourselves. Everybody else knows it. So do you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to swallow your pride and go apologise to Cas and you’re going to go whatever it takes to get him to forgive you, because what you said to Castiel was completely wrong. He’s the most kind hearted person I’ve met, and he’s probably hurting really badly right now. You have no idea how much he loves you, to constantly put up with your bull shit Dean. I don’t care how long it takes for you to find Cas, you’re doing it. Sam and I did not put in so much effort for you to blow it Winchester. Now go and get him. Now.”  
Dean looked at Charlie with wide eyes, feeling slightly intimidated. He looked to Sam to see if he would help her but he was giving him one of his famous bitch faces. Dean sighed and stood up, he realised that he still had the shirt Castiel brought for him in his hand. He decided to change into it before he left to go find Cas. He had a faint idea of where Castiel would be, so he went with his instincts and walked to the Park. 

Dean was right, Castiel was at the park. He spotted Castiel’s car before spotting Cas himself. He was gently swinging himself on one of the swing sets with his head down. Dean took a deep breath and walked over. Castiel must’ve heard him coming as he saw his head jerk slightly towards the sight but he must’ve chosen not to look who it was. Dean sat down on the swing opposite Cas. He looked around the playground for a while and only saw a little girl and her Mother as the only other people in the park. Dean sat up straighter and took a deep breath.   
“Cas, I’m sorry about what I said man.”  
Castiel didn’t say anything to him, or even look at him. He kept staring straight at the ground. Dean thought he saw a tear slide down Cas’s cheek, but he figured he was wrong. He’d only seen Cas cry a few times, and that was years ago. Dean cried more than Castiel did, and it was always Castiel who he let see him cry. He stood up and walked over so he was standing in front of Castiel. Cas still didn’t budge so he knelt down in front of him and lifted his chin. Only then he saw why Cas had his face down. His eyes were red and semi-swollen. He saw faint lines where tears had been streaked their way down his face. Dean sighed   
“Cas dude, don’t cry. I’m so sorry for what I said, I really didn’t mean it. I regret saying it so much and I know that you’re not spoilt and I know that you don’t think the world revolves around you.”  
Castiel looked at him for a while before replying  
“Everybody has always thought I was the spoilt younger Novak. Even the other group I sit with at school, they think I’m some sort of stuck up snob who doesn’t have patience for anybody unless their popular. Everybody assumes that because I come from a rich family that I’m snobby and stuck up. I just thought that you would be the one person who would never say it.”  
And if that didn’t make Dean feel like trash then what would.  
“Cas you know what I think of you.”  
“No actually. I don’t, not anymore.”  
Dean thought he felt his heart break a little. He really had hurt Cas deeply.  
“I think that you are the coolest dude ever. I don’t do chick flick moments, ever, but I’ll make an exception just this once. You make me happy Cas. It’s awesome, you can make me smile so easily man. I don’t know how you do it either, you smile and I smile kind of thing. You’re one of the nicest people I have ever met, sometimes you do things which are kind of disastrous but you always have the right intentions. You’re always trying to help. I trust you more than anybody except for Sammy. I don’t know if this is love or what, but I know that I feel strongly about you Cas. You do so much for other people and you don’t expect anything in return. You always come when I call. I find it so cute how you don’t understand pop references and you listen to weird indie music but I don’t care because it’s you, and when we were younger and people called us weird for being so close and you just told them we had some sort of ‘Profound Bond’. I love your obsession with bees. The fact that I don’t even have to ask how you’re feeling, I just know. I can read it in your eyes. And your eyes, that’s another thing. They’re this kind of blue that I’ve never seen before man. They’re the kind of blue I never want to forget. The way that you get so pissed off when I wake you up early in the mornings but that’s when your features are the softest. And when you got so drunk a month ago because your brothers wouldn’t stop arguing so you stole your parents alcohol and I found you in the park after you drunk called me and I asked you what you were doing and you told me you were ‘On a bender’, and when you went out of town for a while on a holiday and I was waiting at your house when you got back and the first thing you said to me was ‘Cas is back in town’ and you thought it sounded normal but I thought it was one of the weirdest things I’ve heard. You do all these little things which I’ll remember forever. I can’t get you out of my mind man, and I honestly don’t know if it’s a bad thing. I close my eyes and I see those big, blue orbs. And this sounds so gay so I’m going to stop, but I just want you to know that I think the world of you Cas, and I really am sorry.”  
Dean felt his cheeks go pink as he thought over what he had just said. He pretty much poured his heart and soul out to Cas, something he had never done with any one before. He looked at Cas. He had this eyes wide and his mouth was slightly agape.   
“Dean that was-”  
Dean cut him off with a finger to his mouth before he could continue.  
“It was the truth. Chick flick moment over, okay?”  
Castiel reached forward to hug Dean. The swing lost balance and left Cas falling on top of Dean. Dean fell back on the ground with a thud and Castiel fell onto him. Cas was staring at him with an un-readable look on his face. Dean felt awkward under his intense stare and tried to break the tension  
“Guess you fell for me, huh?” He said with a chuckle.   
Cas smiled back at him. He leant forwards and gave Dean a gentle kiss on the forehead before standing up. When Dean finally stood up he saw the Mother and her child looking at them with cheesy grins. He waved and grinned at them before walking back to Cas’s car.   
“So does this mean we’re ya know, together now?”  
Dean asked as they were pulling out of the car park.  
“I guess it does.” Castiel replied with a smile  
“For the rest of the Summer, then we go back to being normal bestfriends?”  
“I guess so”  
Dean nodded a few times. He didn’t want to give Castiel up at the end of summer but he was happy that he had a chance to be with him for a while than not at all. Plus Cas did promise him that if they still had feelings for each other after Graduation they’ll get together. 

The drive back was peaceful, they were both happy just enjoying each others company. They arrived back at Dean’s house around 6:15 and walked inside. Charlie and Sam both gave them a raised eye brow silently asking if they’ve worked everything out. Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and intertwined them. Cas looked at them with his brows furrowed, it’s not like Dean to do things like that. He looked over to Charlie and Sam who were high fiving each other. Dean pulled him into the kitchen so they could have dinner. They couldn’t find anything to eat so they ordered Pizza for everybody. While they were waiting, Dean went upstairs to have a shower and get changed into comfortable clothes. Castiel took this chance to slip out of his button up shirt and sweats so he was just wearing Dean’s ACDC top and black boxers. He walked into the lounge room to go sit with Sam and Charlie. They were both bickering over what movie to watch tonight. Charlie wanted to watch the Hobbit but Sam wanted to watch Star Wars. Castiel groaned internally at the movie choices as he disliked them both greatly, but he was here to cheer Charlie up.  
“Why don’t we watch the Hobbit first and then start on Star Wars after. We can easily stay up and watch all of the movies and if we don’t we can finish them in the morning.”   
“Good idea Cas, ladies first as always”  
Cas smiled at Charlie and went to say something back to her when he heard Dean call out as he walked down the stairs  
“Has anybody seen my ACDC shirt?”  
Castiel blushed and smiled sheepishly at Dean  
“Sorry I didn’t have another shirt to wear and Charlie just picked out a random one for me, you can have it back if you want”  
“Nah man its sweet. It looks better on you anyway.”  
They both heard Sam and Charlie snickering in the background and Dean flipped them off. Dean decided not to put on a top, it was summer and Charlie, Sam and Cas wouldn’t care.  
“So what are we watching tonight?”  
“We’re watching the Hobbit first and then the Star Wars movies.”  
“Gee Sam, you actually have a good taste in movies for once.”  
“Jerk.”  
“Bitch.”  
Sam playfully shoved Dean and Dean shoved him back, which turned into the two brothers play fighting on the ground when the delivery guy knocked on the door. When Cas opened it to get the pizzas and pay for them, he saw the delivery guys face change into confusion as he saw the two brothers still rolling around on the floor. The pizza guy didn’t look much older than 17.   
“You look familiar. Do you go to school with me?”  
“Yeah, I was in the year above you, I graduated.”  
“Oh well that would be it, thanks uh”  
“Oh, my names Kevin Tran.”  
“You’re the genius Kevin Tran? As in Advanced Placement Kevin Tran?”  
“That would be me.”  
“Well, nice to meet you Kevin. See you around, thanks again for the pizzas”  
“Hey no problem man, I just delivered them”  
Cas smiled at him as he walked back to his car. He bought the pizza’s into the lounge room then walked into the kitchen to get plates and napkins.   
“Gee Cas, if I didn’t know better I would think that you lived here”   
“I don’t understand why”   
“Never mind then Cas”  
He gave Dean a confused look for a few seconds before grabbing some pizza and looking away. They put in the Hobbit and all sat in their respective places. Dean and Cas on the Sofa and Sam and Charlie in the two big arm chairs. Sam started to complain that he had no room so they had to pause the movie and figure out a new seating plan. Dean had the great idea of bringing all the matrasses down and creating a big beg for all of them, complete with the couch cushions and pillows. Dean lay down next to Cas who was next to Charlie and Sam was on the other end opposite to Dean. They decided to make popcorn and get lollies from the kitchen before they started the movie again. They didn’t have any soda so Cas volunteered to go down to the local shop and buy some. Dean offered to go with him but Cas said he’d be gone for 5 minutes and he can do this by himself. 

Sam and Charlie took this time to congratulate Dean on getting Cas.   
“Calm down, it’s only for the rest of summer”  
“There’s no way that Cas will want to stop your relationship or whatever it is after you spend the rest of summer together.”  
“You think so?”  
“Yep”  
“Thanks Charlie.”  
“Hey, what are little sisters for?”  
Dean reached in and gave her a quick hug. She was being so strong in this time, he admired her for that. 

Castiel came back with soda’s and Pringles and a lot of junk food which made Dean and Charlie happy but Sam cringe.   
“Do you guys even want to live to 30? Cause with the way that you’re eating I’ll be surprised if you live past 20”  
“Shut up Sammy, you’re going to be a lawyer not a doctor, remember”  
“You’re such a jerk Dean.”  
“Ha bitch.”  
Castiel stood in between them before they could start another play fight like before. They lay back down with all their food and started the movie again. Although Castiel claimed that he didn’t like this movie, Dean saw that he was starting to get into it. However Dean was bored of it quickly and resorted to throwing popcorn at Sam. He managed to throw 38 pieces at him before Sam yelled at him to stop. Dean starting laughing until Castiel took the popcorn bowl from him and placed it away from Dean so he couldn’t throw anymore popcorn.  
“Aw Cas, always the mature one.”  
“Somebody has to be when they’re dealing with you, Dean Winchester.”  
“GUYS SHUT UP IT’S THE BEST PART COMING UP”  
Everybody fell silent and continued to watch the movie. Dean wondered if he should put his arm around Castiel and was about to before he chickened out. 

By the time the Hobbit had finished, Dean was the only person who still wasn’t into it. Even Castiel was watching it properly. However that changed when Sam got up to put the first Star Wars movie on. Dean instantly perked up and became more alert. He would never admit it but he really is a sucker for Star Wars. However Castiel was the complete opposite. Castiel decided to close his eyes for a while, they were kind of sore. Before he knew it he was asleep. Dean looked over and saw how peaceful he looked. Soon enough Cas had slumped onto Dean’s shoulder. Dean smirked and put his arm around Cas so that it was more comfortable for both of them. He stared down at Cas for a while before he caught both Sam and Charlie watching him. He blushed and turned back to the movie.  
“Caaaaaaasssss! You’re missing the movie. It’s coming up to one of the best parts. You totally just missed it”   
“Good.”  
Cas was not a person to mess with when he was tired or if he had just been woken up. There were times when Dean was intimidated by Castiel and when he had to wake him up, he was always scared.   
“It’s okay if he sleeps, I’ll just make him watch it tomorrow with me”  
Castiel groaned and opened his eyes, not wanting to have to be put through more Star Wars.  
“Fine, I’ll watch it, and try not to fall asleep. But if you wake me up again I will bring Heaven’s entire wrath down on you.”  
Dean chuckled  
“That’s my angel of Thursday”  
He saw Cas smile softly at that. Cas re-adjusted himself so that he was now lying down instead of sitting against the sofa. Dean let his arm fall back to his side, slightly dejected from Cas moving, until Castiel grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers with a soft smile and a faint blush crawling up his cheeks. Dean bought Cas’s hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. He heard Charlie ‘Awww’ faintly but didn’t look. They stayed like that until they had gone through all of the Star Wars movie. It was early morning now and everybody was feeling exhausted. Charlie was the only person who had enough energy to talk.  
“Should we move all the matrasses back into our rooms or sleep on this?”  
She heard a mumbled ‘here’ from Cas. Dean just hummed in agreement and Charlie was pretty sure Sam was already asleep. So they decided that they would stay in the lounge all together. Castiel rolled onto his side, back facing Dean. He didn’t know what Cas wanted to he stayed lying on his back. When Cas shuffled backwards a bit Dean understood that he wanted to spoon. Dean huffed a laugh and rolled onto his side to be the big spoon. He wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist and pulled him closer. He started to whisper into Cas’s ear  
“I’m so glad we’re together Cas”   
Cas didn’t say anything back but put his hand over Dean’s and stroked Dean’s hand with his thumb lovingly.   
“Guys please keep it PG”  
“Charlie!”  
“What? I’m just setting down the rules.”  
Dean was going to say something back to her but Castiel cut in before he could say anything.  
“Will you both be quiet? I actually care about my sleep here.”  
“The beast has awoken.”  
Dean laughed at that  
“Well, Charlie. It will go back to sleep if you let me.”  
“Fine fine, goodnight guys. Thank you for today and tonight guys. I love you both.”  
“We know Charlie”  
Dean figured it would be easier for him to reply instead of Cas.   
“Night guys”  
“Night Charles”  
He heard Charlie roll over onto her stomach. He snuggled up closer to Cas, despite it being summer and hot, he felt the need to be as close as he could be to the other boy. He thought about what had happened in the past few days, all their fights. He couldn’t help but think how stupid they were, and how he had been missing this all along. It feels so right to be lying with Cas. He fell asleep softly kissing Cas’s hair feeling like this was the best thing that has happened to him in a while.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

When Dean woke up, his and Castiel’s positions had changed. Castiel now had his head resting on Dean’s shoulder and both of Dean’s arms were wrapped around Cas. He smiled and kissed Cas on the fore head softly before carefully getting up, not wanting to wake Cas up. Cas turned into the scariest person he’s ever met when he’s woken up, he prefers to let Cas wake up at his own pace. He walked into the kitchen to see what they could make for breakfast before he heard somebody shuffle in. He expected it to be Charlie or Sam so he didn’t pay too much attention to them. He heard the person groan. He turned around and found it was Cas.   
“Coffee”  
“Now now Cas, where are you manners”   
Dean smirked at him, while Cas sent Dean a glare. Dean made Cas his coffee the way he knows Cas likes it, full of sugar. He handed Castiel his coffee before starting on the pancakes. He made some with blueberries in them for Sam, and ones with chocolate chips in them for Cas. Dean still couldn’t get it through his mind that him and Cas were together. He found himself smiling while he was making the pancakes. He was half way through finishing them when he felt arms slide around his waist. He stiffened at first, not used to the physical contact until he realised it was Cas. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck pulling him in closer. When he pulled away he noticed Castiel’s eyes sliding down his torso.   
“Checking me out there are ya Cas?”  
Dean said with a wink  
“It’s hard not to when you look like that Dean.”  
Dean chuckled and went back to cooking the pancakes. Cas went back to sitting on a stool with his head in his arms. Dean chuckled, wondering what he could do to Cas before he got angry and went to sleep on the floor of Dean’s room. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he’s a Winchester, and the Winchesters always do something if it’s not a good idea. He started to throw blue berries and chocolate chips at Cas that he didn’t use in the pancakes. Castiel had always been a patient person in most situations, however when he had just been woken up, Castiel was like a bomb waiting to explode. Castiel shifted his hands so that he could flip Dean off. Dean grinned and stopped throwing the blueberries and chocolate chips. He quietly moved around so he was standing behind Cas. He started to rub soothing circles into his back and Cas leant slightly into his touch. When Dean felt satisfied that Cas was starting to fall back asleep, he moved his hands down to Cas’s sides and started tickling him. Castiel woke up with a jerk and started trying to wriggle out of Dean’s touch. Cas managed to stand up so he could push Dean off and tried to walk off, however Dean grabbed his hand and pulled him back. Cas kept trying to break free but Dean’s grip on him was too tight. Cas some how tripped and fell over, bringing Dean down with him. Dean landed on top of Cas and started to tickle him again.   
“Stop it Dean!”  
“Dean I’m serious, stop it.”  
Castiel managed to push Dean off him with a little too much force. He got up and walked to the door way leading to the lounge room.   
“I told you to stop.”  
“Calm down Cas, it was just innocent fun.”  
“I told you to stop which you didn’t.”  
“I’m sorry Cas?”  
Dean was confused, he didn’t expect Castiel to get so angry with him. Cas walked away and Dean could hear his faint footsteps going up the stairs. Charlie had walked in with a puzzled look on her face  
“What was that all about?”  
“I irritated Cas when he had just woken up”  
Charlie smirked and nodded. He remembered that his bed didn’t have a mattress at the moment so he grabbed his mattress from the lounge room and carried it back up the stairs to his room. He found Cas curled up on his fluffy carpet on the floor. Dean put his mattress back on the bed frame and made his bed. He then walked over to where Cas was sleeping. He gently scooped Cas up in his arms and carried him bridal style to the bed. This wasn’t the first time that Dean had done this to Cas, but it felt nicer this time. When he sat Cas down on the bed, Cas’s grip became tighter.  
“Stay and cuddle”  
“Gee Cas, never knew you were such a cuddler”   
“Could say the same for you”  
“What? No, I don’t cuddle.”  
“If you don’t stay and cuddle with me, I’m telling everybody how much you like to spoon.”  
Dean grumbled and lay down next to Cas. He watched as Cas snuggled closer to Dean, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer than he was before. Dean was wide awake but he wasn’t going to miss out an opportunity like this. He found that there were two sides to sleepy Cas, the cuddly side, and the ‘If you breathe in my direction I will kill you’ side. Almost all of the time, it was the latter. After a while Dean started to run his hands softly through Cas’s hair. Dean could’ve sworn he heard Cas purr softly. Dean loved Cas’s hair, although Cas hated it. It was always wild and looked like he had either just woken up, or had just had sex. Dean tried not to let his thoughts go there. Dean heard Cas sigh.  
“I can’t sleep anymore”   
Dean chuckled  
“Sorry babe.”  
“Babe?”  
“Uh oh yeah sorry, pet name”  
“As long as you don’t call me baby, honey or anything like that”  
“Sure thing sweetie”  
Cas rolled his eyes and sighed. He wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and started stroking it lightly. Dean put his hand over Cas’s to stop him from moving it.  
“It’s ticklish”  
“Oh sorry”  
Cas started to tickle him. Dean fought back and tickled him. Cas rolled over so he was straddling Dean but Dean pushed him off which ended with Cas on the floor and Dean sliding off the bed and onto Castiel. They kept tickling each other until Cas called a truce.   
“Fine, as long as you admit I win”  
“Get off me and I will”  
Dean got off him with a smirk and kneeled next to him. Castiel smirked back at him and sat up. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and started to move their faces closer together. Dean felt the blush go up his neck at the thought that this might be Dean and Castiel’s first kiss. Dean started to move his face closer to Castiel when he was pushed back onto the floor. Castiel was sitting on Dean with his legs on Dean’s arms so he couldn’t move.   
“I win” Castiel said with a smirk.  
“That was not cool Cas. You don’t tease. That’s cruel.”  
“I’d apologise if I was actually sorry.”  
“I hate whoever taught you a sense of humour. Why can’t you go back to being the little socially awkward person who I met in Kindergarten?”  
“Dean, you taught me to have a sense of humour. You got upset that I never laughed at your jokes. You assumed I didn’t have a sense of humour, but in reality they weren’t funny.”  
“Actually I hate whoever taught you your wit”  
Cas grinned down at him and changed his position so he was straddling Dean again. He leant down and kissed Dean’s nose. Dean knew how click flick that was but he didn’t care. He found everything cute when it came to Castiel. Cas got off Dean and stood up and starting walking towards the door.  
“I’m hungry, you coming?”  
Dean nodded and stood up. He grabbed Castiel’s hand and started walking. Cas looked at him with a raised eyebrow.   
“Wow Dean, hand holding, are you feeling okay?”  
“Shut up”  
Dean felt himself blushing but he didn’t care.

Both Sam and Charlie were in the kitchen eating by the time Cas and Dean went back downstairs. Sam smirked when he saw that Dean was holding his hand.   
“Aw Dean, holding hands?”  
“Shut up Sammy.”  
“You’re a big girl inside aren’t you?”  
Castiel smirked and decided that it would be a good time to get Dean back for waking him up this morning.  
“Oh this has nothing on his cuddling. He’s a spooner”  
“CAS YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL”  
“No, I believe you tried to get me not to tell, but I never agreed to it.”   
By this stage, Charlie and Sam were laughing almost hysterically. Dean let go of Cas’s hand so he could cross his arms in front of him. Cas just grinned at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. This made Sam laugh harder while Charlie ‘Aww’d’ Castiel made more coffee while Dean plated the rest of the pancakes. Castiel handed Dean a cup of coffee as Dean handed Cas the plate of chocolate chip pancakes. They both sat down and started eating the pancakes.   
“You know, you two have been together for less than 24 hours and you look so domestic already. If anybody else saw you guys, they’d think that you’ve been together for years.”  
Sam said with a smirk, knowing it would get to Dean. Charlie laughed at said  
“They pretty much have been. They’ve been in an emotional relationship, they just didn’t realise it.”  
“Yeah, I’m surprised that they haven’t been sucking each others faces off yet.”  
“Well not in front of us anyway”  
Sam and Charlie were snicking together when Dean butted in to their conversation.  
“You know, Cas and I are still in the room and we can hear you. You might want to wait until we leave for you two to start gossiping about us like the middle school teenage girls you are, and nobody is sucking each others faces okay”  
“Sure Dean, whatever you say man.”  
“Bitch”  
“Jerk”  
Dean resorted to flipping Sam off.   
“But seriously I’m really happy that you two are so happy together. It’s been a long time coming and I know it hasn’t been a day yet but you two are pretty much glowing right now” Charlie added  
Cas and Dean both smiled at her before going back to eating their pancakes. After they finished their pancakes they washed the dishes and started on tidying the lounge. Mary and John were coming back tomorrow afternoon so Cas asked if they all wanted to stay at his that night. Sam and Charlie both politely declined saying that Dean and Cas need to spend some time by themselves. After Dean packed a bag of his stuff, some swimming shorts, a change of clothes, phone charger, tooth brush etc they left. 

When they arrived at the Novak mansion, they were greeted by Michael and Luc were in a heavy shout match. Cas rolled his eyes  
“Ah, the sound of my people”  
Dean chuckled, he was used to the two brothers arguing. They walked up the stairs to the third floor and down the hallway to Castiel’s room when he heard Gabriel shouting to him.  
“Cassie are you back?”  
“Yes Gabe, I’m back”  
“How’d things go with your boy toy Dean-o?”  
“Gabriel.”  
“Ooohhh I want details! Did you kiss him?”  
Castiel was blushing when Gabriel finally walked into Castiel’s room.  
“Aw Cassie! I’m so proud of you for finally bagging Dean. You’ve been pinning after him for so long”  
“Shut up Gabriel”  
Gabriel snickered and walked up to Dean  
“If you hurt my brother in anyway, I will make your last few years of school hell. If you think my pranks are bad now, you should see them when you do something to piss me off.”  
“Yes Gabriel I understand”   
“How’s that moose of a brother of yours”  
“Geeky as ever”  
Gabriel smirked at Dean and nodded his head.  
“So how’s Anna doing?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Is she okay today?”  
“Why wouldn’t she be Cassie?”  
Castiel’s eyes went wide as he remembered that he was the only person who Anna told about the break up.  
“Oh uh no reason, just checking on my favourite sister”  
“Cassie what are you not telling me?”  
“Nothing Gabriel, let it go”  
Gabriel scoffed at Castiel and called Anna and told her to come to Cas’s room. When Anna arrived she looked at Dean who had held Cas’s hand again, to Cas, to Dean and then back at Cas before she squealed and ran over to hug her brother  
“Oh Cassie, I’m so happy for you! Finally!”  
Cas hugged her back with a smile. Gabriel quickly interrupted their moment however  
“Anna, what’s happened that you wouldn’t be okay about? Cassie here wouldn’t tell me”  
“Oh um, my boyfriend and I broke up.”  
“Alistar?”  
“Yeah”  
“Oh good, he was a total dick. Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I thought that you’d get all angry and go after him”  
“Oh believe me I will, but I’ll just play pranks on him and make his life hell.”  
“Gabe you really don’t have to”   
“Too bad, I am”  
Anna sighed, knowing that there was no point arguing further.   
“Well lets leave these two love birds alone, shall we Anna?”  
“Good idea. Lets go Gabriel”  
They walked out and Gabriel quickly yelled out for them to use protection before Anna closed the door. Castiel sighed and blushed. He knew Gabriel would embarrass him.   
“So what do you want to do? It’s 3 now.”  
“Swim?”  
“Alright, I’ll get changed in the my bathroom, you can get changed in here”  
Dean nodded and grabbed his swimming trunks out of his bag. He had only just managed to put them on before Cas came out again. Dean looked up with wide eyes, almost caught without his trunks on.  
“Give a little warning next time why don’t you Cas”  
Castiel just smirked at him and threw a towel at him before grabbing his sunglasses and putting them on. He suited sunglasses. He stood a few meters in front of Dean. Dean took this time to admire Cas’s body. Although Cas looked kind of scrawny, he was actually pretty muscley. He had a toned stomach and well defined V lines.   
“Checking me out Winchester?”  
Dean grinned back at Cas sheepishly before walking out the door, down the stairs and out to the back yard to go swimming. Cas went for the lilo so he could float comfortably in the pool. Dean jumped in and Cas complained about Dean getting him wet.  
“Cas honey, we’re in a pool and you don’t want to get wet?” Dean knew that the pet names would annoy Cas, but he meant it in a loving way. Cas just scowled at him. Shortly after Gabriel jumped into the pool and splashed Cas. Anna came out in her bikinis soon after, and Cas caught Dean checking Anna out. He frowned and looked away. Anna toed the water to see the temperature, but Dean was already out of the water, so he picked Anna up bridal style and threw her into the pool before jumping in after her. Cas knew that Dean used to like Anna, as Dean told him about it. He knew that Anna used to like him as well, and right now the two were openly flirting. He watched as Anna climbed onto Dean’s shoulders so they could attack Gabriel. While they weren’t watching Castiel snuck off and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. He saw Michael sitting at the table and Luc in the kitchen.   
“Hey Cas, are Dean and Anna together now? I always thought he was crushing on you to be honest.”  
“Michael you idiot, Cas and Dean are together.”  
“How was I meant to know? Plus I was asking Cas, not you.”  
Castiel felt sick after hearing what Michael had said. He needed to be alone so he went to the only part of the house which nobody else knew about except Cas and Chuck. Castiel went up to the third floor and to the end of the hall, he climbed up the stairs to the attic and walked to the window. He pushed it opened and climbed up the ladder than Chuck had built so he and Cas could go up there whenever they want with ease. That was where Cas and Chuck used to sit and spend time together when Cas was younger. The only place which was quiet, back when Chuck used to spend time with his kids. Now he’s a big author and doesn’t have time for any of that. No other Novak knew that Cas still goes up there when he needs to be alone to think. Cas knew that him and Dean would be a bad idea, he just wished that he hadn’t felt like crap so soon. 

Back at the pool, Anna and Dean were laughing and having a good time. Gabriel had left to find Cas, apparently neither Dean or Anna had realised that he had gone. Gabriel walked into the kitchen first.  
“Hey, you guys seen Cassie?”  
“Michael made him upset and he walked off”   
Gabriel eyed Michael curiously, Castiel hardly ever got upset with his siblings.   
“Michael what did you do?”  
“I may have asked Castiel if Anna and Dean were together. I didn’t know! I saw them flirting like crazy in the pool so I just assumed”   
“I think that’s why Castiel left, he knows that Anna and Dean used to like each other and you know how Cas is with that stuff. It’s easy to shake his confidence.”   
“If you find him can you tell him I’m sorry”   
Gabriel nodded and walked off to find his little brother. He searched every room in the house but he couldn’t find Cas. He looked outside to see if his car was still there which it was. He went to the backyard to see if Cas had gone back, but all he saw was Anna and Dean on the lilo together. That made Gabriel see red.  
“What are you two doing?”  
“Nothing?”  
“You’re sharing the lilo?”  
“So?”  
“The lilo that Castiel was on. You know, your brother and his boyfriend?”  
“Cassie left so we thought we’d go on the lilo?”  
“Ever occurred to you jut why Cas left?”  
“No, enlighten us”  
Anna was really working Gabriel up.   
“Well Anna, you two were probably too busy flirting with each other to realise that Castiel left, over an hour ago. I know that you two are sluts and will flirt with and most likely have sex with anything that walks, so you probably didn’t notice Castiel leave.”  
“I’m not a slut Gabriel!”  
“Anna, you kind of are.”  
Anna scowled at Gabriel.  
“He does so much for you. He even tried to set you up with Dean a year ago even though it was obvious Cas had feelings for him. He took care of you two nights ago when you were going through your break up and you don’t have the decency to show a little compassion back to him and not flirt with his man. The one he’s been pretty much in love with ever since any of us can remember? Oh and Dean, I thought that you being with Cas might actually give you some decency but I assumed wrong. How you two flirted in front of Cas like that I don’t know how you did it.”  
They both looked guiltily at Gabriel. Dean was the first to speak up  
“I’ll talk to Cas, where is he?”  
“Oh, well see, I was looking for him, but I don’t actually know. I’ve searched every room twice, checked to see if his car is there and it is.”  
“He might’ve just gone for a walk”  
“You better hope so.”  
“When you find him, can you tell him that I’m sorry and I’ll be in his room waiting for him if he wants to talk?”  
“You can tell him your sorry yourself. I’d suggest getting out now, and putting clothes on. You both know how fragile Cas is with relationships and friendships. That’s why he was so hesitant about you, Dean-O, because he knew that you’d fuck up and hurt him. Why he even likes you in the first place astounds me. And Anna, you’re his sister. I doubt Cas will want to talk to you for a while, either of you.”   
They both nodded and got out. 

Anna walked up to the first story to her bedroom, to have a shower and change into something else. Dean walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water when he was approached by Luc.  
“You fucked up Winchester.”  
“I’m aware of that.”  
“Michael actually asked Castiel you and Anna were a couple. You managed to fool Michael into thinking that you and Anna were a couple when it was actually you and Cas. I know you’re easy, but Castiel’s sister? That’s a new low.”   
With that Luc left the kitchen. Dean sighed, grabbed his glass of water and walked up the stairs to Cas’s room. Cas wasn’t in the room which made Dean feel worse. 

He grabbed a change of clothes and hopped into the shower. He thought about what happened with Anna and he realised that he was flirting with her. He didn’t mean to, but he’s a natural flirt without even realising it. He felt really bad, which was unusual for Dean. He finished his shower and lay on Cas’s bed in his boxers. He grabbed his phone out of his jean pocket and texted Cas.   
‘Hey Cas, I have no idea where you are, but I am so sorry. I’m still at your house and I’m going to wait here until you get back and I’m going to apologise and make it up to you.’  
He sent it and heard a vibration on the bedside table. It was Cas’s phone.  
“Shit, he didn’t even take his phone” He said to no one in particular. He decided that he’d look for Cas in the house. He walked to the end of the hall where he noticed a door which he hasn’t seen before. He opened it and walked up the stairs. H e found out that it was an attic with their old stuff in it. He looked around and noticed the window was open. He looked out and saw a ladder next to the window. He assumed that it lead to the roof so he hesitantly climbed it. He wasn’t expecting Cas to be on the roof when he found him.   
“Cas why are you on the roof?”  
“I wanted to be alone”  
“I’m really sorry Cas, I didn’t realise that I was flirting. I wasn’t thinking I’m so sorry.”  
“Okay”   
“Cas honestly I think of her as a sister if anything. I meant what I said when I told you I think I’m in love with you. I don’t know what love feels like but I assume that it’s like this. I really don’t want to fight, I’m so sorry Cas. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”  
“I know you used to like her. You’re bisexual Dean, you’re still attracted to her.”  
“Nope. I’m Cassexual.”  
“That’s not a real sexuality Dean”  
“Yes it is. And you’re Deansexual”  
“Is that so”  
“Yes”  
“Do you ever wear a shirt Winchester?”  
“Not when you have a body like mine babe”  
“If your ego were to get any bigger, you’d probably explode”  
“I won’t let that happen, cause then I won’t be able to spoon you, or cuddle you, or hold your hand”   
“And who said romance is dead?”  
“Beats me. Why are you up here anyway? Is it safe?”  
“Chuck and I used to come up here when I was younger, it’s a good place to clear your head and think.”  
“Right well, I think it’s time for you to come down and for me to take you out to dinner”  
“Where to?”  
“I was thinking McDonalds”  
“Oh Dean, don’t strain yourself being so romantic!”  
“We always had Mcdonalds when we were growing up and I kinda thought that we could do that again, seeing as it’s our ten year friendship anniversary soon”   
“Sounds good to me, just let me have a shower and get changed.”  
“Want me to join?”  
“Who do you think I am Dean Winchester? I have a little thing called self respect”  
“Ouch Cas”  
“Sorry”  
“It’s fine”  
They climbed off the roof and walked back to Cas’s room where they found Anna waiting for Cas on his bed. She was wearing a skimpy crop top and her bikini bottoms.   
“Cassie, I’m so sorry”  
“It’s Castiel.”  
Dean inhaled sharply, Castiel must be seriously pissed at Anna if he told her to call him Castiel. He had only done that to Dean once.   
“Castiel, I’m sorry okay. Dean was the one flirting with me mostly, it’s not all my fault”   
Castiel glared at Anna and pulled Dean into his bathroom with him and shut the door. Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel  
“Thought you didn’t want me to join you Cas”   
“I don’t. I also don’t want you out there with her.”  
“Cas why are you so angry at her? It wasn’t all her”  
“Because she knew what she was doing. She knew that wearing a bikini would turn your interest from me to her, she knew that you’d be easy to flirt with. She doesn’t like that she can’t have you so she’ll try to do anything to distract you. She’s my sister but family doesn’t mean anything to her. I’ll get over it eventually but right now I just can’t handle her.”   
“Okay, I get that”   
“Now turn around and don’t look while I’m in the shower”  
Dean nodded and turned around while Castiel showered. Cas wrapped a towel around his waist and walked back into his room where Anna was still waiting for him, Gabriel next to her this time.   
“Why are you still here Anna.”  
“Gabriel wanted to see for himself how angry you are at me”   
“You can go now”  
She huffed and stood up, stretching her arms above her head, so she could show off her midriff. She was watching Dean while she stretched but Dean looked away. She started to walk out the door before Dean told her to wait. She turned around with an eyebrow raised and a smirk, thinking that Dean would flirt with her some more. Instead he pulled Cas into a heated, open mouth kiss. He slid his hands into Cas’s hair and put his other hand on the small of Cas’s back, pulling him closer. When he and Cas finally stopped kissing, Dean turned to Anna with a smirk  
“Stop flirting with me. I know I flirted with you before, but that was an accident and a mistake. I’m in love with Cas, not you. Now please leave.”  
Anna glared at both of them before walking out and slamming the door. Gabriel laughed and patted Dean on the shoulder  
“Good on you Dean-O.” and walked out.   
When he turned back to Cas, Cas looked at him with a raised eye brow, and the corners of his mouth were tugged up.   
“I’ll get changed, and you put some more clothes on, and then we’ll go.”  
Dean nodded and got changed. 

They started driving to Mcdonalds for dinner, they were listening to Cas’s music. Cas followed Dean’s rule, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole. They pulled up at Mcdonalds and ordered. Dean paid and they ate in a comfortable silence. On the way back they pulled up at the park and played on the swing set for a while. Castiel eventually made Dean push him and Dean happily obliged. When the sun started to set, they sat on the hood of Cas’s car watching the first stars come out. Dean shuffled closer and linked his and Cas’s hands together. He rolled on his side so he could watch Cas watch the stars. Cas rolled on his side so he was facing Dean and they stared into each others eyes for a while.   
“Why did it take me so long to realise my feelings for you?”  
“I’m really not sure.”  
“I’m glad that I did though”  
Cas smiled at him, one of those special smiles that he never gives anybody else but Dean. Dean lifted Cas’s chin with one finger and placed a soft kiss on Cas’s lips. They both smiled warmly at each other for a while.  
“It’s getting dark, we should probably go”  
“Alright, I’m pretty tired anyway, as soon as we get home I’ll probably fall asleep.”  
“Alright Dean”  
They drove back to Castiel’s house with Castiel’s music playing softly in the background. When they walked in, Naomi and Chuck were waiting by the door for them.  
“Castiel where have you been! I’ve been worried about you, Michael said that nobody could find you”  
“I was out with Dean, sorry Naomi”   
“How have you been Dean? It’s been a long time since I last saw you”  
“I’ve been good thanks Naomi.”  
Naomi gave Dean a short nod before walking away. Chuck just smiled at them both before disappearing off somewhere else in the Novak mansion. 

They walked back up to Cas’s room and slid out of their clothes, so they were just in boxers before climbing into Cas’s king sized bed and snuggling up together. They sat and talked for a few hours, about nothing in particular. Eventually they fell asleep facing each other, legs intertwined. 

Dean had to go home the next day and see Mary and John. They had to sort out the final details of the funeral. Mary was a mess, Dean had never seen her so upset. The loss of her sister was taking it’s toll. Dean had to step up and cook for their family while Mary was grieving. 

The funeral happened on a rainy Monday morning. It was a small affair with mostly friends and family. Castiel went to support Dean and Charlie while they were going through this stage. Charlie broke down half way through the service and Dean and Castiel held her until the end. Charlie decided that she would clean out her old house with the help of Dean, Cas and Sam. For her this was the final part of saying good bye. 

Dean and Cas stayed at each others houses a lot through out the final weeks of the Summer holidays, Dean had forgotten all about the deal with Cas that their relationship was only for the holidays. They had gotten so comfortable around each other, it felt so domestic for Dean. If it was anybody other than Cas he was with, he would’ve hated it, but because it was Castiel he enjoyed every second of it. 

It was the final day of the school holidays and Dean and Cas were lounging around in Cas’s pool. Cas seemed distant and it started to get to Dean.  
“What’s wrong Cas”  
“It’s the last day of the Summer holidays?”  
“Yeah I know, I’m sad that it’s over, I’ve had the best holidays”  
Castiel nodded and didn’t say anything else.

Dean and Cas got out of the pool and walked up to Cas’s room. They took turns showering and getting changed. For their last night of Summer, they decided to go out to dinner at the Diner down the road. The Roadhouse was owned by Jo and her Mom. They both ordered burgers and chocolate milkshakes. Castiel was fidgeting the whole time, Dean thought that it was his nerves for school. He grabbed Cas’s hand and rubbed it re-assuringly. Castiel gave him a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes. After their dinner they drove home, and when Dean lent in to Castiel to give him a good bye kiss, Castiel pulled away.

“Cas man what’s wrong?”   
“Thank you for the Summer Dean. It’s been the best summer of my life.”  
“Why are you saying this?”  
“Our deal..?”  
“What?”  
“The deal that we made to be together for just summer?”  
“I kinda thought that after the summer you would’ve realised how good we were together and you would actually put something ahead of your school work for once”  
“Dean I told you that it would only be for the Summer. You have no right to get angry at me.”  
“You’re seriously willing to give up all of this? After the summer we just had?”  
“I told you it was for the summer Dean.”  
“You know what Cas? Just forget it. Forget the whole summer. It was just a little game for you wasn’t it?”  
“Dean no wait-”  
Before Cas could say anything else Dean had gotten out of the car and slammed the door. Castiel watched him as he walked into his house and closed the door. Castiel regretted the summer being over, but as always, his studies were the most important thing to him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Castiel woke up with a weird feeling in his stomach. Sure he was excited to start his senior year at school, but he felt like crap after his fight with Dean. This was his last year of school and he wanted to make sure that he maintained the best grades possible. He was planning on trying to get a full ride, although it’s not like money was really an issue for the Novaks, Castiel felt like he needed to do it for himself. 

He got up, had a quick shower and got changed before heading downstairs for breakfast. He was the only one in the Kitchen as neither Anna nor Gabriel had woken up yet. Gabe and Anna had graduated and Castiel was going to be the last Novak at his school. It was going to be strange for Castiel to drive to school by himself without the company of his siblings. He figured that maybe he could sit in the library at lunch instead of in the Cafeteria with his friends. Maybe Dean would join him.

Oh. Dean. Castiel had forgotten about his fight with Dean and remembering it was like a slap to the face. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do without Dean by his side this year. Castiel was probably over reacting and him and Dean would be fine soon but he was worried. He and Dean had been joined at the hip for pretty much 10 years and to suddenly feel like they’re not friends anymore didn’t sit well with him. He tried not to think about Dean while he was eating the rest of his breakfast. After he had breakfast he cleaned his teeth and grabbed his bag before knocking on Gabriel’s door before entering to say good bye.  
“Good luck Cassie, people in Senior year are a big back of dicks. See you when you’re home”  
“Goodbye Gabriel.”

He considered saying goodbye to Anna, seeing as they were on talking terms at the moment before he decided against it. He checked over what he was wearing before leaving. He thought he looked pretty good for his first day. He was wearing a blue V neck top which bought out his eyes, black jeans and his favourite pair of black converse. He walked to his car and put his bag on the passenger seat. He headed towards the school. He remembered that he could park in the Senior parking area now and he felt a little surge of pride go through him. He was a senior now. This was make or break year for him. 

When he got out of his car he was instantly greeted by his popular friends Meg Masters and Balthazar. Nobody really knew what Balthazar’s last name was so they just called him by his first name. Meg gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek, while Balthazar gave him a clap on the bag.  
“Good to see you again Cassie”  
Balthazar’s accent had thickened if that was possible.   
“Good to see you too Bal”  
They headed towards the entrance of the school and towards Castiel’s locker. Most of the kids who attended the school were already there, and Castiel was finding it hard trying to walk among the sea of teenagers. Meg and Balthazar noticed Dean waiting by Castiel’s locker before Cas did. Dean was wearing the Star Wars shirt that Castiel and gotten him, which caused Cas to grin softly to himself. Meg and Balthazar shared a smirk before Meg spoke  
“Well Clarence, looks like your little follower is waiting for you. We’ll see you at lunch.”  
Meg winked at Cas before her and Bal walked off. He unlocked his locker and opened it before turning to Dean and noticing the scowl on his face.   
“Man I hate her. Why are you even friends with her Cas?”  
“Hello to you too Dean”  
“I um wanted to apologise for how I acted yesterday. You made it clear that it was only for the summer, I guess I was just hoping that you wanted to stay together but it’s cool dude.”  
“Thank you Dean. I was worried that you kind of hated me and I thought that I had lost you and honestly I was scared that I would have to face this year without you.”  
“Nah Cas, it’s our senior year. I’ll stick with you if you stick with me”  
“Sounds like a deal Dean, oh and nice top by the way”  
“Are you looking at my shirt or my boobs Cas?”  
“Oh your breasts clearly. They’re kind of hard not to look at”  
“Well they’re real if you’re wondering”   
“First question which came to my head”  
“You’re a little shit do you know that Cas?”  
“You’ve told me before, yes”  
“Hey what do you have first?”  
“History with Henriksen”  
“So do I. What’s the rest of your schedule?”  
“History first, then English, Free period, Algebra, Lunch, Science and then Art”   
“We have all the same subjects except for when you have Science.”  
“At least I have an hour away from you each day, I’ll take what I can get”  
“Aw Cas, you’re going to be stuck with me all year, let me hear some enthusiasm.”  
Cas just rolled his eyes as they walked off to home room. 

When they got to home room, their friends were already waiting. They were gathered around a table talking. Cas looked to see if there were any new people with them but it was the same group. Charlie, Jo, Benny, Becky, Ash and Garth. Cas smiled, they’ve all been in the same group since they got to high school and they’re all as close as they have ever been. None of them seemed to mind that Castiel occasionally hung out with his ‘popular’ group. Although every body in the group were close, they all knew that Dean and Cas were best friends and probably always would be. Before they walked over to their group Cas pulled Dean to the side  
“Are we going to tell them about how we were together for the summer?”  
“I dunno man, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  
“Jo would probably get angry seeing as she’s been pinning after you for quite a while”  
“So we keep this a secret?”  
“Yes, we keep the summer a secret”  
Dean tried not to wince when he heard ‘we keep the summer a secret’. Dean had said this, but Castiel had shot him down. 

When they walked over to their group, they got a chorus of ‘hey’s’ and ‘what’s up’.   
“Oh hey guys, I was just telling them about our awesome summer”  
Dean and Castiel looked at each other with wide eyes  
“Oh yeah Charlie, what did you say?”  
“I told them about how you two love birds were so cute”  
“Oh.”  
Dean and Cas said in unison. It was Jo’s turn to speak  
“Yeah, you two sounded like an adorable pair. Shame you split.”  
Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.   
Dean opened his mouth to respond when the bell rang. They all sat down and stopped talking. Castiel had chosen a seat across the room from the group and Dean joined him. He wasn’t in the mood for Jo’s attitude at the moment. When their teacher Pamela Barns walked in, the class fell silent. Mrs Barnes was one of the most attractive teachers any student had seen.   
“Hey guys, welcome back! Senior year, it’s going to be a big one. And by the way, if anybody calls me Mrs Barns, I’ll give you a detention straight away. It’s Pam. Got that?”  
Everybody nodded their heads. She smiled back and started ticking off names on the attendance list. Castiel didn’t speak, he knew that Jo would confront him and rip him a new one. As soon as the bell went he pretty much sprinted out of the classroom and to first period.  
“Go on Winchester, go make sure your boyfriend is okay. You always put him before everybody else, so why should it be different this time?”  
“What the fuck Jo? Just because I don’t want to be with you doesn’t mean you can go around being a bitch to Cas. He didn’t do anything wrong. If you’re going to act like that I don’t want to be around you”  
“Fuck you Winchester.”  
Jo stormed out of the class room.  
“Well that went well”  
Charlie had appeared behind him.  
“Are you going to have a go at me as well?”  
“Dean I think you forgot I was the one supporting you through this? I’m sorry for telling them, I thought that you’d be okay with it. I didn’t know Jo would flip out.”  
“It’s fine Charlie. I have to go to first period, I’ll see you later”   
With that Dean walked to History and found Cas sitting by himself in the back of the classroom next to the window. He always sat at the window seats so people always left them available for him. Dean sat down next to him heavily.  
“You okay?”  
“Yes”  
“Don’t lie to me Cas. I’ve known you for 10 years. I can call you out on your bullshit, and I will. So what’s up?”  
Castiel sighed   
“I didn’t mean to make Jo upset.”  
“Cas she shouldn’t be giving her opinion about it. Nobody asked her for it”  
Castiel just nodded and listened to the teacher. 

Dean knew that this situation would be eating away at Cas for a while until Jo and Cas finally made up. He didn’t even understand why Jo was acting like this. Dean has had his fair share of hook ups and she hasn’t cared. The bell finally rung and it was time for English, before they left their teacher gave them home work. Cas and Dean decided that they’d do it tonight, and Sam and Charlie would just have to stay at the Novak’s house for a few hours. Their teacher, Crowley, had decided that they would get stuck into their work even though it was only their first day. He had told them to get into pairs, and naturally Cas and Dean went together. Their task was to write a 30 day diary of the other person. Cas and Dean knew it would be easy, seeing as they could read each other so well. 

Time was going fast for the two boys on their first day and before they knew it, it was time for Lunch. Cas and Dean walked over to their usual table before seeing Jo glare at Cas. Cas turned to Dean and told him he’d just sit with his other friends for today, give Jo some time to calm down. Dean told him that they could go to the library, but they both knew that it would only make the situation with Jo worse. 

As Cas was walking over to his popular groups table, which was pretty much in the middle of the Cafeteria, he put on a fake smile.   
“Clarence! Chose the cool group over the no lives today did you?”  
“Meg they are my friends you know.”  
He sat down at the table and looked over who else had joined them. A few cheerleaders, Lisa and Bela, Meg and Bal, Samandriel and Dorothy. Castiel had no idea why they were the popular group, but now that they were Seniors, he felt like they kind of ran the school. So many people thought that because Castiel was rich, he was a stuck up, snobby brat. He thought over what Dean had said to him when they had their fight and wondered if it was actually true. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Lisa tried talking to him.  
“Hey Castiel, why don’t you ever bring Dean over here? He’s gorgeous”  
Castiel couldn’t help but start to feel jealous, he didn’t know why, as he was the one who broke it off with Dean first.   
“Uh, I guess he’s happy with my other group.”  
“But his little brother sits with them?”  
“Do you have a problem with that, Lisa?”  
Castiel could feel himself starting to get wound up by Lisa. She quickly shook her head, knowing not to mess with a Novak. Dorothy spoke up   
“You should ask Charlie to come over here. She looks like fun”  
“Maybe another day.”  
Dorothy nodded her head. He liked Dorothy, she was kind of wild, and he felt like if he ever spent time with her outside of school, they’d go on a pretty cool adventure. They kept conversing throughout the rest of lunch when the bell went. Castiel rushed off to his next class, Science. Castiel always relaxed in science. He had art with Dean next. Art was one of their favourite subjects to have together because they both felt so comfortable drawing each other and just drawing in general.

After school everybody went to Castiel’s house. When they walked through the door, they were hit with a sweet aroma. Dean knew exactly what it was.  
“PIE”  
Dean started chanting ‘Pie pie pie’ on the way to the kitchen, he could barely hold his excitement in when he found Gabriel pulling a freshly baked apple pie out of the oven. Castiel turned to look at Dean with a smirk. Dean would do anything for pie.   
“Dean control yourself”  
“No Cas. There are only 2 things I love in life, Pie and my Baby.”  
In his mind, he knew there were 3 things he loved, Pie, his Baby and Cas, but he wouldn’t say that out loud.   
“Only two things Dean-o?”  
Gabriel looked at him with a cheeky grin.   
“Alright you got me. I love frisky woman as well”  
“You know, I don’t actually think you love woman at all, do you Dean-O?”  
An awkward silence settled on the group before Sam snorted and Gabriel and Charlie starting laughing. Dean and Castiel had turned a dark shade of red and refused to look at each other. Castiel walked out of the room while Dean stayed behind. He knew that Castiel needed some time alone, plus pie.   
“Alright Gabriel you d-bag, you owe me pie for that”  
“I don’t owe you anything”   
Dean started to reply before Sam cut him off  
“He’s right Dean. You kind of had that coming”  
“Are you seriously taking his side Sammy?”  
“Yeah, pretty much”  
Dean glared at them before walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Cas’s room. He found Cas sitting at his desk with his History text book open.  
“Our brothers are dicks”  
Cas answered without lifting his head from the text book  
“Should I be asking why?”   
“Yes Cas. You should. Sammy chose Gabriel’s side over mine.”  
Castiel looked up with a quirked eyebrow.   
“You deserved it Dean. You kind of had it coming”  
“You’re taking his side now? Cas that is betraying 10 years of friendship. That’s it, I want a divorce”  
“Oh Dean but I’m pregnant”  
Dean never knew how Cas managed to keep a straight face all the time.   
“How are we going to support the baby?”  
“I have to drop out of school and look after it”  
Before Dean could stop himself he blurted out  
“Does that mean we can be together then?”  
Castiel looked at him with an intense look. Dean saw the look change, his eyes started to look sad.   
“Uh Cas man sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. It kind of just blurted out”   
“It’s fine Dean. Shall we get on with our homework?”  
Dean nodded and sat on the bed with his history textbook. 

They had been working in silence for 5 minutes before they heard some one knock on the door.   
“Cover yourself; put some clothes on, I’m coming in”  
Gabriel walked in carrying two plates. Dean lit up as soon as he saw what was on the plates.  
“Happy first day of being Seniors”  
“Thanks Gabe”  
“I thought you two would be on the bed getting jiggy with it, so I came to cock block. Apparently there’s nothing to block.”  
“Okay please leave Gabriel”  
“If you need me, I’ll be playing video games with Moose”  
Dean chuckled at the nick name. He was going to start using that. Gabriel reached into his back pocket and threw something into the room before quickly shutting the door. Castiel went to pick it up, only to find it was a condom. He sighed, Gabriel was a piece of work, but he loved his brother dearly.

Downstairs in the Game room, Gabriel and Sam were playing video games. They had asked if Charlie wanted to join, but she passed it down saying she’d do some home work. Half way through Gabe and Sam’s game they realised how close they had gotten. Their thighs were touching as well as their shoulders. Sam was the first to notice and cleared his throat before shuffling to the side a bit.  
“You know Sammy, for 2 years younger than me, you’re pretty tall.”  
“You’re pretty much a dwarf Gabe.”  
Gabriel scoffed and punched Sam softly in the arm before pulling some more candy out of his pocket.  
“Geez Gabe, do you ever run out of candy?”  
“It happened one time, and lets just say that the Novak house is always stocked with Candy now.”  
“I’m not sure if I even want to know the story”  
“They were dark days”   
Sam chuckled. Only Gabriel could get that worked up about candy.  
“So what do you think is going on with Dean and Cas?”  
“I thought they were together?”  
“No, it was only for the summer. They aren’t together anymore”  
“Oh so that’s probably why things got really awkward in the kitchen and Cassie left”  
“Yep”  
“Why aren’t they together? Cassie hasn’t been that happy in a long time.”  
“Cas wanted to focus on his studies more, cause it’s his senior year kind of thing”   
“How did Dean take it?”  
“Not well. He wouldn’t talk to anybody last night, but they seem to be okay at the moment”  
“Cassie will come around eventually. He’s been aiming for the highest universities since he got to middle school.”  
“Lets hope so.”

 

That night when Dean, Sam and Charlie got home, Sam decided that he needed to talk to his brother about Cas.   
“Hey Dean, can you come here for a second?”  
“Why?”  
“I need dating advice”  
Sam knew that Dean would come to Sam about dating, either to actually help him or mock him. Seconds later Dean appeared at Sam’s door with a grin. He walked in and closed the door before flopping down on Sam’s bed.  
“So who’s the lucky person Sammy?”  
“Well uh. I kind of lied to get you in here. I want to talk to you about you and Cas.”  
“Dammit Sammy there’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine.”  
“Yeah it sure seems that way”  
“Okay yeah I’m a little cut up about Cas not wanting to be together anymore but he made it clear it was only for the summer, plus I’m happy to wait for him.”  
“It’s just you’ve never actually been in a proper relationship before Dean and I know how much you and Castiel like each other.”  
“How is this any of your business Sam”  
“Because you’re my brother and I care about you.”  
Dean sighed and rolled over so he was lying on his back. He began to fiddle with his shirt.   
“I just wish that Castiel didn’t give up on us. I wouldn’t have cared if the school knew. I know that Cas wants to spend his time studying and stuff but I know that part of it is because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship and because he doesn’t want to get picked on again. He’s only really told me about this, but before he started to hang out with the popular group, he used to get picked on by Alistar and his friends for being a bi, socially awkward nerd. They used to push his books out of his hands, call him a freak and all that stuff. I know that he doesn’t want that to happen again. He started hanging out with the ‘popular’ group because Anna and Gabe were there, and they assumed that they would stop picking on Cas because he was cool by association. Sure he likes the people in the group, but they’re not tight you know? I know that he’s doing it to protect me, and our friendship but he also did it to protect himself. Now that he doesn’t have Anna or Gabriel to have his back he’s got to try to defend himself. I don’t have a problem with it, it just kind of offends me that he doesn’t think I’d protect him”   
“I never knew that about Cas, I thought that everybody just always loved him.”  
“Everybody does now, but before he was a nobody.”  
Sam didn’t know what to say, he was sure that he was loved by every one. The silence soon became awkward so Dean stood up   
“Are we done here?”  
“Uh yeah, sure”  
Dean nodded and walked out. Sam was going to have a talk to Gabe about if it really was true. He just had to wait until they next all go over to the Novak’s. 

The next day as Castiel got ready for school he still felt bad about what happened with Jo. He had breakfast, got changed and left the house. He was distracted while he was driving and almost ran a red light. When he got to school, he saw his two groups. His ‘popular’ group were standing around a tree, while his normal friend group were standing around a car. He looked closer to find that it was the Winchesters 1967 Chevy Impala. John must have finally let Dean drive it and Dean was showing it off as much as he could. He looked to see if he could find Jo, as he wanted to talk things over with her. He started to walk towards the entrance of the school when he heard Dean call his name.  
“Cas, wait up man”  
Castiel didn’t feel like talking to anybody so he pretended that he didn’t hear them. He heard running footsteps getting closer to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder which forced him to stop and turn around to see a panting Dean.   
“Cas dude you okay?”  
“Yes Dean”  
“Do you expect me to believe that?”  
“I just don’t feel like talking”  
“Oh uh okay, I’ll see you in home room then”  
Castiel nodded and walked off towards his locker. He was so out of it he almost didn’t notice some one waiting for him by his locker. When he looked up, he found Jo. He gave her a weak smile and opened his locker.  
“Hey Cas, I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. I shouldn’t have acted like that. I’m happy for you and Dean, I really am. I thought that I was completely over Dean but I guess I wasn’t. I just wanted to apologise and make everything okay again.”  
“It’s fine Jo really. Don’t worry about it”   
Jo hugged him before leaving. Castiel pulled out his iPhone and plugged headphones in. He walked to him home room and sat down, turning his music up so that people got the picture that he didn’t want anybody to talk to him. He wasn’t sure why he still felt like that seeing as he and Jo had made up. When the bell went and everybody piled into class. Castiel put his arms on the desk and rested his head on them. He didn’t notice when his group had all sat around the table he was at until he felt a hand shake his shoulder. It was Charlie. Cas took out one ear phone so he could hear her speak.   
“Hey Cas, you alright?”  
“Yeah I’m fine, just a little tired”  
She didn’t seem convinced but didn’t press for anything. He stayed quiet for the rest of the period and only spoke when he was spoken to. When the bell went signalling first period he got up, smiled at the group and left. 

In History and English Dean left Cas alone. He knew that Castiel got into foul moods and he was in them for the rest of the day. However when they had study period together Dean was sick of Castiel not talking. He was getting bored. Castiel was studying and Dean was throwing pieces of paper at him.   
“Cas talk, I’m bored”  
Castiel ignored him and went to turn the page in his book when Dean put his hand on top of Castiel’s. Cas’s head shot up and looked at Dean.   
“Now that I have your attention, what’s up with the stick up your ass Cas.”  
Castiel sighed.   
“I don’t know. I just woke up in a bad mood and I thought it had something to do with Jo and I not being on good terms but everything is okay between us now and I still feel like crap”  
Dean raised his eyebrows, Castiel never used any kind of swear word unless he actually meant it.   
“Do you want me to go somewhere else?”  
“Not really”  
“Then you’re going to have to lighten up a bit okay?”  
“Fine. Lighten me up then”  
“Would you be interested in skipping until lunch?”  
“Really Winchester? You think me, Castiel Novak, who agreed to a summer fling so that I could focus properly on my studies would be interested in skipping?”  
Ouch. That still hurt Dean.  
“Okay okay, point made.”  
Dean was trying to brainstorm ideas of what always made Cas laugh. Then he remembered, pulling different facial expressions always resulted in Castiel laughing.   
“Hey Cas”  
“Yes Dean”  
“Look at me”  
Castiel looked up from his book   
“I call this one the blue steel”  
Dean pulled his facial expression and he saw the sides of Castiels mouth twitch up. He quickly changed his expression again. This time he winked turned into a pout. He then moved his eyebrows suggestively while running his tongue over his lip. One more pout and he had cracked Castiel. Castiel was laughing, and it sounded real. Dean could normally tell when Castiel was fake laughing but sometimes it was a close call. Dean then started to sing obnoxiously and play air guitar. Castiel was starting to laugh harder and harder until he was clutching his sides. Dean smiled, he felt good when he made Cas laugh. They were kicked out of the library for being too loud. They walked out to a grassy area and sat down.   
“Thank you Dean.”  
“It’s fine, anything for my Angel of Thursday”   
“I wish I was an Angel”  
“Ha yeah and I wish I was a Hunter who ganked things which go bump in the night”  
“You know, maybe in an alternate universe we are.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, maybe in another life I’m an Angel and you’re a Hunter. You know, saving people, hunting things. It could be the family business”  
“Do you really believe in other lives”  
“I believe that there is another world out there.”  
“Yeah I get you Cas”  
“Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to be an Angel. Having wings and being able to fly. Helping people and trying to restore humanity.”  
“Cas not trying to burst your bubble here, but honestly I don’t think you’d stick to the rules. I think you’d be in your own little Free Will bubble.”  
Cas smiled  
“Maybe I would be”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Saturday’s were Castiel’s sleep in days. And when he sleeps in, he normally doesn’t wake until atleast 2 pm. So when he was woken up at 6 in the morning by his so called bestfriend, he was a little pissed.  
“Dean why are you in my room at 6 am on a Saturday morning?”  
“We’re going to the city”  
“Why Dean”  
Dean didn’t respond so Castiel cracked an eye open. He saw Dean frowning and looking slightly upset.  
“Fine. I’ll get up and have a shower. Stay in my room, and please don’t wake anybody else up.”  
“Okay”  
Castiel got up and stumbled into the bathroom. He had a quick shower to wake himself up. He slipped on some casual clothes before speaking to Dean again  
“My car or yours?”  
“We’re taking Baby”  
“But Dean my car has air conditioning”  
“We’re not taking that douche-mobile to the city.”  
“Why have I put up with you for ten years? Oh happy 10 years by the way”  
“You remembered. I kinda thought you forgot”  
“Dean you woke me up at 6 in the morning my mind was not working. Oh and I made pie for you last night”  
“10 years of our profound bond eh Cas”  
“Oh shut up Dean, I was young okay”  
Dean chuckled and they quietly walked downstairs. Castiel left a note on the kitchen bench saying ‘Gone to the City with Dean. Not that any of you will notice. I’ll be back tomorrow probably’. Apparently Cas was feeling particularly pissy with his Family today. He grabbed the pie out of the fridge and put it in a bag so it will stay cold before they left the Novak mansion.   
“This trip to the city better be worth you waking me up at 6 this morning.”  
“It will be. Trust me”  
“I always do”  
Dean grinned like an idiot at that. Trust never had been an issue for the two, it was an unspoken rule that they trusted everything no matter what.   
“So what are we going to do today?”  
“Well Cas, I’m glad you asked. We’re going to go ice skating and then we’re going to eat a lot, and then make it up as we go I guess”  
“Dean you know I can’t ice skate”  
“Just because it’s 10 years today doesn’t mean I’m not going to be a bad friend”  
Dean looked over and winked at Cas who was scowling at Dean.”  
“I made you pie.”  
“I’m taking you to the city”  
Castiel crossed his arms and looked out the window.  
“Aw no Cas is having a tantrum”  
“Be quiet Dean”  
“I’m hungry”  
“Well that’s a surprise”  
“You know what? Blow me Cas”  
“Do you want to get something while we’re driving? There’s a mcdonalds coming up soon”  
“I knew there was a reason I stuck with you for so long. You’re not just a pretty face are ya Cas”

Castiel chuckled and kept looking out the window. Soon enough they pulled up to the Mcdonalds and ordered their breakfast. They ate in the restaurant quickly and headed back onto the road, trying to maximise their time in the city. 

By the time that Dean and Castiel arrive at the ice rink, it’s already 9. Luckily they’re the first people there so they quickly slip out of their shoes and into their skates and head out onto the ice. Dean glides gracefully across the rink waiting for Castiel to let go of the hand rails and join him. Dean couldn’t help but laugh while Castiel was heading towards him. It looked like he was trying to walk with the skates on instead of glide. Castiel is a natural at everything, except for Ice skating. Dean’s learnt that over the years. He’s good at sport, he’s good at making people like him, he’s good at cooking and he’s good at school. Secretly it bugged Dean that Castiel was so perfect at everything. Castiel tried to skate properly, and he got a little bit of the way to Dean before slipping over and landing on ice with a ‘thud’. Dean quickly skated over to where Castiel fell to help him. Castiel was frowning when Dean helped Castiel stand up.   
“Here grab my hands and I’ll help you”  
Castiel reluctantly grabbed Dean’s hands as they started to skate. Dean was skating back wards while pulling Cas gently along. Soon enough Castiel was starting to skate smoothly but when Dean let go Castiel immediately pulled Dean’s body back towards him causing them to be unbalanced and resulted in the two of them falling hard on the ice. Castiel started laughing and soon after so did Dean. They carefully stood up before trying to skate to the edge of the rink where it was safe. There was only a young couple there now.   
“Dean I’m cold”  
“Maybe if you managed to keep yourself up you wouldn’t be”  
“Your fault for making me go ice skating”  
“Fine we can go. We’ll find a nice park and eat pie”  
“I’m rather surprised you haven’t eaten any without me noticing.”  
“Ha yeah”  
“You did, didn’t you?”  
“You have no faith in me Cas”   
“It’s fine, I know nothing can keep you from your pie Winchester”   
Dean shoved Cas playfully as they walked out of the ice rink. They walked back to the car and drove around a bit before finding a nice spot to eat the pie. Luckily Cas had thought to bring forks so they could eat it. Within 5 minutes half of the pie was already gone.   
“So what’s next?”  
“We’ve ice skated, eaten a lot, what do you want to do now?”  
Castiel looked at the time on his phone. 10:30.   
“Lets walk around for a bit, I kind of want a new shirt, plus you need new jeans”  
“The ones I have now are perfectly fine thank you very much”  
“Fine, whatever you say”  
Dean hated going jean shopping as trying on different pairs of jeans made his bow legs more obvious. 

They put the pie back into the car and started off on walking around the streets of Kansas City. A few shops along something caught Dean’s eye. It was a blue t-shirt that was almost identical to Cas’s eye colour.  
“Hey Cas wait”  
Castiel stopped and started to follow were Dean was walking to. He saw the shirt in the shop window and knew that Dean saw it first. Dean picked up the shirt and shoved Cas into the changing rooms so he could try it on. When Cas stepped out wearing the shirt Dean’s jaw dropped slightly.

He couldn’t even begin to describe Cas’s eye colour. There were no words which were worthy of being compared to his blue eyes. They were ocean blue, but the ocean wasn’t worthy of being compared to Castiel. 

“So I take it that it looks good?”  
Dean didn’t trust his voice so he only nodded and smiled. Castiel changed back into shirt and then paid for his new shirt.   
“So where now?”  
“Aquarium”  
“Good idea Cas”   
They headed back to Dean’s impala and drove to the Aquarium. Castiel paid for them to get in and suddenly they were surrounded by fish tanks. It was all so peaceful. They walked around the fish tanks for what seemed like forever. Watching the fish swim around the tanks. When they finally walked out of the aquarium it was 3. They had spent 4 hours there, just enjoying the serenity of the fishes and enjoying each others company. 

Neither of them quite wanted to go home just yet, so they went to the cinema which was showing old movies neither of them had heard of. They walked into the cinema and found themselves amongst old couples. They found their seat and sat down so they could enjoy the movie. It was a black and white movie, they soon found out it was Frankenstein, the original. Throughout the movie, Castiel noticed Dean’s hand was moving closer to his hand. When their two hands were almost touching Castiel subtly moved his hand so that it was on his lap. 

The movie finished shortly after and it was nearing 4:45. It was too early for dinner but they decided that they would keep driving for a while. They drove out of the city and in the opposite direction of their home town. They drove until they ran out of gas, and to stop at the nearest service station. Dean filled up his fuel tank and they started driving again. They drove for hours just watching the scenery pass them. It was starting to get dark when they pulled up at a road side diner. 

They walk into the diner and find it’s fairly empty. They sit down and pick up a menu. They look at the daily specials and find the diner is doing all day breakfast. Dean orders a breakfast while Castiel orders a stack of pancakes.   
“Cas pancakes really?”  
“Leave me to eat my pancakes in peace”  
Dean just chuckled back at him. They made small talk over dinner. Dean paid and they headed back to the car. By this stage the stars were out, and the moon was full. Dean recognised the road which was coming up, he spent many nights with John here when he was younger.  
“Hey Cas I wanna show you something”  
“Sure Dean”   
Dean turned off onto a smaller road. He kept driving until they found a clearing which is where Dean stopped the car. He got out and walked to the trunk. He pulled out a two blankets and tossed one at Cas.   
“What are we doing?”  
“We’re going to star gaze for a while Cas”   
Cas was starting to climb onto the hood of the car before he quickly pulled back, feeling how hot the hood was.   
“We’re going to have to wait for a Baby to cool down”   
While they were waiting they pulled out the rest of the pie and finished it. They finally climbed onto the hood and lay there for a while.  
“Dad and I used to come out here when I was younger and just star gaze for ages. Sometimes we’d even set up tents but we haven’t done that in years. It feels good to be back here, you know? I just miss it. He’s almost always fighting with Sammy now and Mom isn’t the same anymore. She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She’s hurting pretty badly Cas. Can we maybe stay here tonight? I just need to get away from it all”  
“I understand Dean, and that’s fine.”   
They lay one blanket underneath them and one over the top. Cas had his hands by his side over the blankets. Dean grabbed his hand and Castiel intertwined their fingers. They had held hands before as friends but now that they knew about each others feelings, it felt more intimate. Castiel knew that Dean needed somebody now, and Dean hated to admit it but he also wanted somebody to hold him or him to hold them. Castiel snuggled into Dean’s side and Dean put his arm around Castiel pulling him closer. Castiel then put his head on Dean’s chest and started drawing patterns on Dean’s chest with his finger. Neither of them spoke, they just lay comfortably together until they fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

 

When Cas woke up the next day, they were still some how in the same position as when they fell asleep. However Dean was resting his head on top of Castiel’s. Castiel’s arm was wrapped loosely around Dean’s waist, he slowly started to retract it when Dean started to stir. His eyes slowly opened as he looked down at Cas with a smile.   
“Hey there sleeping beauty”   
“Good morning Dean”   
Castiel sat up and Dean let go of him. They both missed the feeling of being so close to each other. Dean was looking at Castiel, how soft his eyes were in the morning, and how messy his hair was, it looked like he just had some really steamy sex.  
“I’m hungry. Want to head back and grab something to eat?”  
“Okay Dean”  
Dean nodded and grabbed the blankets and put them back in the trunk. Castiel stretched out his limbs before climbing back into the car. He found his phone and checked the time. It was 10 am. He also had 5 new texts, 3 from Gabriel and 2 from Sam.  
Sender: Gabe  
‘Hey bro, wanna grab some lunch?’  
‘Cas where are you?’  
‘Cas Sam needs help, where are you?’

Castiel started to feel worry in his stomach as he opened the two texts from Sam.  
‘Cas where are you and Dean? I really need you both right now please call me’   
‘I’m with Gabe now, when you and Dean get back we’ll both be at your house’ 

“Dean, we need to get back to my house now”  
“Why what’s wrong?”  
“Check your phone for texts from Sam”   
Dean opened his phone and opened the 7 messages from Sam.  
‘Mum and Dad are fighting again’  
‘Dad just came and yelled at me. He’s drunk again.’  
‘Dean I’m scared please come and get me’   
‘Dean don’t come home.’  
‘Gabriel came to get me, I’m at the Novak’s, Charlie is at Jo’s.’  
‘I’m staying with Gabriel tonight’   
‘Dean where are you?’

“Shit”

Dean started the car and started to drive back to their home town. He was sure he was breaking the speed limit but he didn’t care. The drive back was tense and quiet. Both of them had questions going through their minds but none of them were spoken. By the time they had gotten to the Novak house it was coming up to 1:30 pm. Dean turned off the car and pretty much sprinted to the front door, Castiel close behind him. The door was locked so Cas quickly whipped out his keys and unlocked the door.   
“Sam, Gabe”   
“We’re in the kitchen”  
Dean and Cas pretty much sprinted to the kitchen. Sam had his head in his arms and Gabe was rubbing soothing circles on his back.   
“Sammy what happened, where’s Charlie? Is she okay?”

Gabriel answered for Sam knowing Sam wouldn’t be able to

“John fucked him up pretty bad, and Charlie’s at Jo’s. She’s fine, she left before John got back”  
“What did he do”  
“He didn’t touch Sam, but from what I’ve heard John said some pretty shitty stuff. He’s your Dad but he was acting like a great big back of dicks”  
“Sam what did he say to you”

Sam looked up at him, tears starting to well in his eyes.

“He told me that if I turned out anything like my ‘faggot of a brother’ he’ll be kicked out as well. He told me to tell you not to bother going home, he said you’re not welcome. I’m sure he didn’t mean it Dean, he was drunk, it was the alcohol.”

Dean didn’t know how to reply. His mouth was slightly agape and he felt the colour drain from his face. He felt something on his shoulder but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Emotions were running through his mind. His Dad had kicked him out because he couldn’t accept him. Dean thought that he was okay with Dean being Bi, as he never brought it up. He bought out of his thoughts by somebody shaking him.  
“Dean, Dean can you hear me?”  
It was Castiel. Dean looked into his eyes and they were full on concern.   
“You’re staying with me for a while okay Dean?”  
“Uh yeah okay sure”   
Dean didn’t know what to say, he felt like shit. His own Dad didn’t want him.   
“Hey Cas can we go upstairs”  
He knew that he should be with Sam and trying to comfort him but he felt like he’d only be upsetting him more. Plus Cas could probably make him feel better as well. He felt Cas grab his hand and lead him up to his room. He felt tears prick at his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was shock or what but he was trying to hold them in. As soon as Cas closed his door Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck and started to sob. He felt Castiel wrap his arms tightly against Dean’s waist. He really did not want to cry about this, and normally he would take people’s worlds but because it was John, it hit Dean to the core.   
“Shh Dean, it’s okay. You’ll live with me, it’s okay.”   
Castiel broke the embrace and led Dean towards the bed where they could lie down. Cuddling isn’t too unfamiliar for the pair, as whenever one of them get upset, they tend to feel better wrapped around each other. Instead of spooning, or lying with Castiel’s head on Dean’s chest, they lay on their sides facing each other. Castiel was brushing Dean’s tears away with his thumb. Normally that was an intimate gesture but Castiel figured that Dean and Cas and been best friends for long enough that it’s okay.   
“I don’t know what to do Cas, I just want to forget everything”  
“You’re going to live with me. And we’re going to sort through this, and we’ll graduate and go to college together. We’re going to do everything together. I’m with you, if you’re with me remember?”   
Dean nodded. He managed to stop himself crying and now he was just thinking about everything. He wasn’t allowed home. John thought he was a faggot.   
“I’ll be back shortly Dean”   
Dean nodded again, not trusting his voice. Castiel left the room and closed the door, leaving Dean alone in his thoughts once again. He always tried to be perfect for John. He was Daddy’s little soldier all of the time. John always wanted Dean to be the son who played Football, settled down with a nice woman, had an apple pie life. John wanted Dean to be the typical American guy. 

He was thrown out of his thoughts by Castiel returning to his room. Dean had his back to the door and had his eyes closed.   
“Dean”   
Castiel’s deep voice called him. Dean turned around to see Castiel standing with a bottle of Vodka and some shot glasses with an awkward look on his face.   
“Cas what’s going on?”  
“We’re going to get drunk Dean”  
“Cas man, you don’t have to, I know you’ve never been drunk before”  
“You said you wanted to forget, and I believe alcohol makes you do that. I got it from Luc, he said he was proud of me for finally drinking”  
“But what about Sammy and Gabe?”  
“I asked them if they wanted to join, but Gabriel is taking Sam out somewhere”  
Dean reached for the bottle and shot glasses.   
“I have an idea for a game. You ask me a question and if I answer it truthfully you have to take a shot, but if I answer it wrong, I take a shot. Sound good?”  
“Okay Dean, sounds good”  
“I’ll start. What was my favourite child hood toy?”  
“Your batman action figure.”   
Dean took a shot.   
“Your go Cas”  
“What was my favourite book when I was younger?”  
“Shit Cas, narrow it down, you’ve had too many”  
“When I was 13?”  
“How to kill a mockingbird”   
Castiel took a shot as if it was water  
“Cas that was your first shot and you downed it without any trouble.”  
“Go Dean”  
“What was my favourite memory of us when we were younger”   
“You have too many, you can’t decide on just one.”  
“Damn I even tried putting in a trick question”  
Dean had another shot.   
“What was our first fight about?”  
“You sat with other people instead of me and I got jealous”   
“Incorrect Dean. I wouldn’t play with you because I was reading my book and you wanted to play Batman and Robin”   
Dean scowled and took a shot. 

By the eighth shot, Castiel claimed he was starting to feel something. Who knew that Dean’s nerdy bestfriend would be able to handle his liquor so well. They decided that they should stop drinking after the eighth shot and settle down. They lay back on the bed and talked. They checked the time and it was only 5 in the afternoon. They stumbled downstairs to find some food. After they made sandwiches and were interrogated by Michael about drinking they went back upstairs to watch movies. It was safe to say that Dean was forgetting what his father said until he checked his phone and saw a text from Mary.  
‘Dean maybe you should stay with Castiel for a few days, I’ll sort John out, and Sam is going to bring over some of your things. I checked with Naomi and Chuck and they’re fine with you staying, however they will be out of town for most of it. I love you sweetie, stay safe.’  
Dean threw his phone angrily at the bed which ended up hitting Castiel who was staring at the ceiling. He grabbed the phone and pulled it close to his face while squinting to try and read the text. After a few silent minutes, Castiel sighed and sat up. He had an angry look in his eye.   
“Naomi and Chuck aren’t going to be home for a while. Surprise surprise.”  
“Cas it’s fine don’t worry about it”  
“No Dean, it’s not fine. They are never home and I was raised more by Gabriel, Mike, Anna and Luce than I was my own parents. They have always put their own needs in front of everybody else. I can’t wait to get to college. Even though they are never here, they expect me to be perfect.”  
“Cas calm down”  
“No Dean.”  
“I understand that you have issues with your parents but so do I remember? I’ll stick with you if you stick with me”   
Castiel calmed down and nodded while sighing.   
“I’m sorry Dean”   
“It’s fine man, lets just watch a movie or something”   
They put on a Batman movie, due to Dean whining about wanting to watch one. Even though it was only around 6:30 pm they were both nodding off. Dean knew that when they woke up they would have massive hangovers with pounding headaches. 

Dean and Cas were wrapped around each other firmly asleep when Gabriel and Sam came barging in.   
“Cassie dear wake up”   
“Go away Gabriel, it’s 12 am”   
“We have Dean’s stuff here”  
“Just drop it somewhere in my room”  
“Okay I’ll let you get back to you two cuddling” 

Dean flipped Gabe off while Castiel threw a pillow at him with all the strength he could muster. 

When Sam and Gabriel left the room, Dean pulled Castiel closer. They were both still semi drunk and weren’t too conscious about their actions. Dean started to run his fingers through Cas’s hair making Castiel purr slightly. Dean was almost fully unconscious when he heard a deep, sleepy voice talk to him.  
“I love you Dean”  
“I love you too Cas”   
Dean fell asleep almost five seconds after it. 

Outside the door Gabriel and Sam were talking.  
“Hey Sam, you okay?”  
“No, I’m not but I’ll try to be. I’m glad that it’s senior year for Dean so that he’ll be able to leave soon. I’ve never seen Dad talk like that about Dean ever”   
“Hey it’s okay. You’ve got me, Dean and Castiel. You can stay here for a while aswell if you feel unsafe at your house.”  
Sam nodded and thought about what had happened in the past 24 hours. 

YESTERDAY   
It was around 8 pm when John came into the house. He had been at the bar and he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. He slammed the door shut as he walked in. He saw Sam sitting on the couch and yelled at him  
“Where is Dean boy?”  
“He’s out with Cas”  
“Oh the two town faggots are together”  
Sam frowned but didn’t say anything, knowing not to argue with his drunk Father.   
“At least you’re not a gay like Dean is”  
“Dad there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Dean’s bisexual anyway”  
“Don’t argue with me boy”  
Sam glared at him. Mary walked in to see what the commotion was about.   
“John Winchester what are you doing coming home drunk at 8pm causing a ruckus.”  
“Trying to find my faggot of a son and get some sense into him”  
Mary’s face turned dark as she pretty much hissed her next words at John  
“We have no ‘faggot’ son. Dean is who he is and I have no problem with that. If you can’t accept Dean, then go.”  
“If I see that boy again, sober or not, I’m going to get sense into him. Tell him he’s not allowed back home until he’s straight and found a girlfriend. I don’t want that faggot near me”  
“How can you say that? He is your son John. He’s never done anything wrong to you, he’s always been trying to be perfect for you”  
“Well he’s not. Atleast we have Sam here, who has a good head on his shoulders and chooses to be straight”  
“Sam can choose whatever he wants to be, and so can Dean. Leave John.”  
“I’ll be back, and he better be ready for me when I see him next.”  
John walked towards the door, until he stopped to grab Sam’s shirt and pull him close  
“You better tell Dean he’s not welcome in my home, or I’ll have to deal with him”   
Mary quickly intervened and pushed John away and out of the door before locking it.  
“Sam, please find somewhere to stay tonight, I don’t want John to come back and you to have to be around him”   
Sam nodded and texted Dean and Cas. Neither of them had replied so he texted Gabriel to see where Cas is and if he’s with Dean.  
‘Gabe where is Cas?’  
‘He’s with Dean in the city, why?’  
‘I need him to get me out of here’  
‘What’s wrong kiddo?’  
‘Dad just came home drunk’  
‘I’m coming to get you. I’ll be there soon’  
‘Gabe you don’t have to it’s fine’  
‘No Sam, I’m coming. I’ll be waiting outside’   
‘Thankyou’ 

Sam never got a text back so he assumed that Gabriel was already driving there. He went upstairs to grab a bag of clothes before saying goodbye to Mary and climbing into the car Gabriel was waiting for him in. Gabriel’s car was littered with candy wrappers everywhere

“Sam are you okay?”  
Sam looked at him and tears started to well in his eyes  
“Dad kicked Dean out for being bisexual. He said if Dean comes back he’ll have to deal with John. Even if John were to hit him, he would never hit back.”  
“It’s okay, we’ll come back tomorrow and get his stuff. He’ll just live at our house for a while. Him and Cas pretty much live together anyway so it won’t be like anything has changed.”  
Sam nodded as they pulled up to the Novak house. Sam felt exhausted as well as scared. They walked upstairs to Gabriel’s room and Sam lay down on the bed. Gabriel shut the door and moved next to him. He started to snuggle up to Sam when he felt Sam tense.  
“Don’t worry, cuddling helps people feel better. Cassie and Dean do it all the time”  
“Cas and Dean aren’t normal. They’re hopelessly in love with each other but neither will admit it anymore and it’s almost heart wrenching to watch”  
“Should we plan to get them back together? Because they won’t with out a little push in the right direction”  
“Cas wants to use this year to maintain his perfect score doesn’t he?”  
“Cassie is the smartest kid in the school, he’ll get a full ride in any college he wants. He doesn’t need to try. The kid needs to relax and when he was with Dean it was the happiest I’ve ever seen him”  
“Dean was the happiest I’ve ever seen him when he was with Cas aswell”  
“So we’re going to get them back together?”  
“Sure but for now can we sleep?”  
“Sure thing Sammy”  
Gabriel curled himself around Sam, Gabe’s chest to Sam’s back. Gabriel was being big spoon, which was extremely awkward considering the height difference. Gabriel started to run his hand through Sam’s long hair. The kid really needed a hair cut. Soon enough Gabe heard Sam’s soft snores and wrapped his arm tighter around his waist. 

Sam woke up around 12 pm. He had slept for over 12 hours but apparently he had both needed it. He glanced around the room and found that Gabriel was not in it. He got up and stretched for a while before leaving his room trying to find Gabriel. He passed Luce in the hallway when he was coming out of Gabe’s room.  
“Huh weird, it’s always the other Winchester here. Is it weird knowing that our brothers are crushing so hard on each other but not doing anything about it, while you and Gabriel are all cuddly and close with each other.”  
Sam shot Luce a weird look  
“How do you know that?”  
“I went into Gabe’s room this morning to ask him where Castiel is and found you two wrapped up around each other. Would’ve figured you for big spoon, guess not”   
Lucifer smirked at Sam before walking away. Sam huffed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. He saw Gabriel bringing fresh cookies out of the oven as he took in a deep breath of the wonderful smell of freshly baked cookies. Gabriel’s eyes lifted to Sam and he smiled.  
“You’ve finally woken up, I was thinking that I would have to dump cold water on you, although I’m not sure if that would wake you. I would’ve figured you would be a light sleeper”  
“I normally am, guess I was just really tired.”  
Gabriel nodded as he offered a cookie to Sam.  
Sam took one and moaned in delight at the taste.   
“Gabe dude these are awesome. Oh and do you mind if I take a shower?”  
“Need to realise some pent up stress there Sammy?”   
Gabriel winked at him and Sam rolled his eyes before walking back up the stairs to Gabe’s bedroom. He walked into the bathroom in Gabriel’s room and had a shower and washed his hair. He leant against the shower wall and thought about the last 24 hours. Everything was okay in the morning but as soon as John came home, his day turned to shit. He realised he was probably in the shower for too long and quickly got out. He dried his hair and changed clothes before going down to join Gabe in the kitchen again. He had just sat down and put his head in his hands when he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala pull up.   
“Can you talk for me? I don’t trust myself talking sorry”  
“Sure thing Moose”   
Sam smiled and him before putting his head down again. He heard Cas and Dean call out for them and Gabriel pointed out that they were in the kitchen. Sam couldn’t look up to see Dean’s face when Gabriel told him what had happened. Dean asked him what John had said to him to Sam told him. He felt the tears well in his eyes again as he told Dean and saw Dean try not to convey his emotions. He heard Dean mumble something about him and Cas going up to his room when he saw Cas look at Dean with so many emotions in his eyes. He grabbed Dean’s hand and lead him towards the stair case.   
“They’re so crazily in love I want to be sick”   
Sam smiled and nodded as he put his head back down on his hands and sighed. This was going to be an interesting rest of the year.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

 

Dean woke up because of two things the next day. An alarm going off and a pounding head ache.  
“Dean alarm”  
He heard Cas’ deep voice rumble from under the covers. Dean did what he was told and turned it off. The clock read 6:30 am.   
“Cas why was the alarm going off? Ugh my head hurts so bad”  
Suddenly he felt Castiel sit up with his eyes wide.  
“Dean we have school today. It’s Monday”  
“Lets skip”  
“Dean you know I can’t miss school. You know how important this year is to me”   
“Fine, but I’m not going”  
Castiel sighed and put his head in his hands. He rolled over Dean to get off the bed. He took a long shower and tried to get rid of his hang over. Today was going to be hell with his hang over, but without Dean it’s going to be even worse. He reluctantly turned off the shower and walked back out into his room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw a glass of water and an asprin sitting next to it. He wasn’t sure who had gotten it for him, but he sent a silent thankyou to whoever did. He saw Dean still lying on his bed with his arm slung over his face. 

He changed into shorts and a t shirt, not caring what he looked like. Surely he couldn’t look worse than he felt. He stumbled down stairs to the kitchen and saw Gabriel and Sam sitting at the counter eating breakfast.   
“Hey Cassie”  
Castiel grunted in response and sat down.  
“Are you actually going to go to school with a hangover today Cas?”  
Castiel grunted another noise, this time answering Sam’s question. Gabriel shoved two pieces of toast at Castiel to eat.   
“Mum and Dad are out again”  
Castiel ate a few bites of the bread before answering  
“When are they not”  
“No need to get snarky Cassie”   
Castiel rolled his eyes and went back to eating his toast. Shortly after he heard slow thumps coming down the stairs. Castiel turned his head slowly and saw that it was Dean who was approaching the kitchen.   
“Wow Deano you look worse than Cassie does”  
“Shut it Gabe”  
Sam and Gabe shared a look before getting back to eating.   
“So I’ll drive you and Sammy here to school today, is that alright?”  
Castiel and Sam nodded.  
“Deano and I are going to have so much fun today. I think we’ll start off with a greasy, fatty burger”  
“Fuck you”  
Sam chuckled while Castiel groaned.   
“Start getting ready for school you two, we’re leaving in 10 minutes.”  
Castiel pulled himself off the bench and hauled himself up stairs. When he was finally up in his room he got changed and decided that he needed a reward for moving around so much. He had just lay down on the bed when he heard the door creak open. He assumed it was Gabriel  
“I’m coming Gabriel give me a minute”  
“Sorry to burst your bubble sunshine, I’m not Gabe”  
“Dean” Castiel whined  
Dean grunted  
“Did you bring up anymore Aspirin?”  
He felt something land on him so he moved his hand and found another pill. He sighed with relief and took it with water. When he started to feel better he stood up and began to walk to the door when he felt a hand grab his leg.  
“Stay home with me Cas”   
“I can’t Dean, you know that”  
Dean sighed   
“Have a good day, see you when you get home”   
Castiel made a noise back as he walked out the door with his bag. 

Sam and Gabriel were already waiting in the car for Castiel when he finally got down stairs. Castiel climbed in and buckled his seat belt. He closed his eyes until he heard the music blast through the stereo. He clutched his head in his hands and groaned.   
“Gabriel if you do not turn that down, I will throw up all over you and your car”  
“Shouldn’t have gotten drunk on a school night Cassie”  
Castiel was really not in a mood for an argument with Gabriel, he was in a bad mood in general but Gabe was only making it worse.   
“Gabriel I was being a good friend to Dean. You know that. I don’t need or want your opinion right now, so don’t offer it”   
Cas’ words came out worse than what he thought they would. He was going to apologise but they had just pulled up at the school, so he got out and slammed the door shut without further word. 

He had just started walking when he heard footsteps behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw that it was Sam and he had a frown on his face.   
“You shouldn’t be so hard on Gabriel Cas”  
“I don’t really need this right now Sam, I’m sorry.”  
By this stage they had stopped walking.  
“Cas look you and Dean are pretty much my big brothers, I’ve known you forever kind of thing, and I’m not picking a fight, I’m just saying that maybe you should apologise later on today when he picks us up”   
“I will”  
Castiel walked off without a goodbye or second glace.

He walked straight past everybody and into his home room where he pulled out his head phones and turned up his music. He was left alone until he felt somebody tap on his shoulder. He sighed and took an ear phone out before facing the person.  
“Hey Cas, where’s Dean? I heard about what happened and I want to know if he’s okay”  
“He’s not coming in today, he’s at mine. We drank last night and we both have pretty bad hangovers”  
“What? Castiel you drank?”  
“Yeah he needed a distraction”  
“You’re a good friend Castiel”  
“Thank you. You could maybe see him later on tonight if you want”  
“I’ll text him to make sure he’s okay but I won’t see him until he’s ready”  
“Okay”   
Charlie smiled and walked away, noticing how Castiel wanted to be left alone. 

When the bell rung, Castiel was still sitting by himself in home room. He was glad to be sitting by himself, he wanted time to think. However Pam was in a bad mood today and she wasn’t going to take anything from anyone. She looked over at Castiel and told him to take his ear phones out. Castiel took them out with a sour look on his face. A few people tried talking to him but he pretended that he didn’t hear them. When the bell finally went Castiel waited until everybody else had left before leaving.

He walked slowly to his History class and sat down at his usual seat at the back. Henriksen almost gave Castiel a detention for not handing in his homework, in English he couldn’t get any work done because his head was still pounding, study period he spent napping and Algebra was terrible, the numbers wanted to make Castiel throw up. It was finally lunch and he walked into the Cafeteria and was instantly bombarded by people coming up to him and trying to talk to him. He quickly got his food and bolted out of the Cafeteria and into the library. He was not in the mood for people to talk to him. His hang over wasn’t as bad anymore and he was starting to feel better. He only had two more periods of the day. Castiel isn’t sure if he’s smiled once today, which is unusual. 

He tried to figure out why today was so bad, besides the fact that he had a hang over. He finally came to the conclusion that it was because he didn’t have his best friend with him making him laugh. Dean was usually Castiel’s main source of happiness at school. He was seriously considering skipping the rest of the day when the bell went signalling that lunch was over. He decided that he would stay for the rest of the day. Science wasn’t too hard, they were just studying what they have learnt in the past few weeks. Art however was boring, normally it would be Castiel’s favourite class but because Dean wasn’t there, he was just left to entertain himself. 

When the final bell went for the day, symbolising that school was over for the day, Castiel felt his spirits rise knowing that he would be seeing Dean soon. When he walked out to the car park he saw Sam getting into Gabe’s car and Gabriel driving off. He was confused until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He had received a few texts from Dean throughout the day complaining about how his head hurt and how bored he was at home. He checked his phone and checked the text Gabriel sent him  
‘Sorry Cassie, I was expecting an apology. You can walk home unless you swallow your pride and say sorry’  
Castiel rolled his eyes and started the walk home. He thought about texting Dean and asking him to pick him up, but he hasn’t walked home in a while and wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet. 

He walked along the paths and kicked a stone. He had a few people offer to drive him home, hoping that Castiel Novak would agree to let them drive him home, but he denied their request. It took him twenty minutes to walk home. He got a text from Dean asking if he wanted Dean to pick him up. He was almost home so he sent a simple text back  
‘It’s fine Dean. I’m almost home anyway’  
‘See you soon then’  
Castiel walked up the drive way and into his house. He heard Gabriel and Sam talking in the kitchen so he was careful not to go in. As he walked past the kitchen he heard Gabriel stop talking and he could feel Gabe staring at him. He kept walking up the stairs until he got to his floor. He saw that his door to his room was open and walked over to see why. He saw Dean’s impala in the drive way so Dean must be home. He walked into his room and found that it was empty. He kind of wanted to just sit down and talk to Dean, after not seeing him for a day. He lay down on his bed after taking his shoes off and closed his eyes. 

When Castiel next opened his eyes, he was curled up next to Dean, he next checked the clock it was almost 5. He had a few hours sleep and he was feeling better. He started to move around and move into a sitting position.  
“Oh hey, you’re up”  
“Where were you when I came home?”  
Castiel handed meant to sound so demanding but he did need Dean when he got home  
“I was in the kitchen with Sammy and Gabe”  
“Why?”  
“Because I wanted to see my brother? Is that a problem for you Cas?”  
“No”  
“Gee Cas, sounds like you don’t have a problem with it”  
“Look Dean. I had a really bad day. I don’t need this”  
Castiel walked up and went into the bathroom. He heard Dean say something to him but stopped him mid sentence by slamming the bathroom door. He sat down in the shower fully clothed, started the shower and thought about his day. It was bad enough, but Dean knew that Gabriel and Cas were fighting, Gabriel would have told him. He heard his bedroom door open and close, so he decided he would have a shower and get something to eat before retiring to his bedroom for the rest of the night. He quickly took off his wet clothes and threw them into his laundry hamper. He soaped down his body and washed his hair before stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and going into his bedroom. It was empty once again, he assumed that Dean would’ve gotten angry at him and gone to hang out with Sam. 

He changed into boxers and walked downstairs. He was praying that nobody was in the kitchen so he could quickly make food and go back to his room without being spotted. However he had no such luck, Gabriel, Sam and Dean were all in the kitchen. They were all sitting at the bench in the kitchen talking and laughing together. However as soon as Castiel walked in it went silent. Castiel rolled his eyes and walked to the fridge. He heard some bodies phone go off and somebody snicker. This happened a few times before Castiel realised that they were all texting each other. He grabbed ingredients for a sandwich and started to make it. He had his back turned to them so he wouldn’t have to make awkward eye contact. 

“What’s up his ass?”  
He heard a quiet murmur and he recognized the voice. It was Dean. He heard Gabriel and Sam laugh quietly   
“What doesn’t go up his ass”  
He heard another voice, this time it was Gabriel.

That’s when he lost it. 

“Fuck all of you.”  
He turned around to look at all of them, none of them said anything, so shocked at the fact that Castiel was swearing.  
“Gabriel, you know for a fact that I’m still a virgin, so nothing goes up my ass. And as for you Dean, you would know what’s making me upset if you actually took the time today to ask me how my day was. You obviously know that Gabriel and I are fighting otherwise you wouldn’t have gone silent when I walked in. You’re being a pathetic excuse of a best friend, Winchester.”

Castiel grabbed his sandwich, threw the knife in the sink and stormed up to his bedroom. When he was finally in his room, he locked the door making sure that nobody else was going to come in. Some part of Castiel felt bad for his outburst at Dean and Gabriel, but their comments actually hurt. Sure Castiel and Gabriel were fighting, and when Gabriel fights, he gets immature, but to say ‘what doesn’t go up his ass’ is a whole new level of rude. 

He decided he’d do all the home work and a few assignments which were due soon. He wasn’t going to be tired anytime soon due to his few hours sleep that he got this afternoon. Castiel always got lost in his homework and assignments. He was almost finished his History assignment when he looked at the clock and saw that it was 10:03 pm. He had been doing his homework and assignments for 4 and a half hours. Castiel was glad that he had gotten to much work done, however he was starting to get tired so he saved his work and shut the lid of his laptop screen. 

He was still only in his boxers when he climbed into his bed. He wondered where Dean would be sleeping tonight, seeing as he probably wouldn’t be sleeping in Cas’s bed tonight. He was starting to drift off when he heard a knocking at his door and somebody calling his name. He groggily got up and walked towards the door. He listened more intently to the voice and realised it was Dean. He didn’t want anything to do with him right now but Dean was staying at his house as he got kicked out of his own. 

He unlocked the door and opened it slightly before walking back to bed and laying down on the side most far from the door. Dean walked into Cas’ room uncertainly before stripping down to his boxers and a shirt and climbing into the bed. He wasn’t sure if he should say something to Castiel or just leave it for tonight. He knew that Castiel was fuming with him, he even locked him out of his room. His conscious got the better side of him however  
“Cas look man, I’m sorry about before”   
He waited for a reply but there was none. When Castiel and Dean faught, Castiel almost always replied, not letting Dean have the final word, but when Cas gets hurt when they fight, he stays silent and stays in his mind. He must’ve hurt Castiel pretty badly for him to be ignoring him.  
“Cas talk to me. Tell me about why your day was bad”  
Dean waited but there was still silence. He was about to say something when Castiel finally spoke  
“Because you weren’t there for me”   
“What?”  
“My day was bad because you weren’t there for me. I understand that what you’ve been through is hard, but I had a really bad day and you were with Gabriel even when you knew he was fighting.”  
“Cas you’re a big boy I assumed that you would be okay by yourself”  
“What happened to ‘I’m with you, if you’re with me’ or was that just you trying to be a good person? Did you mean it or were you just saying it?”  
“I meant it Cas. I just thought that you didn’t have to rely on me so heavily to make sure you’re okay and keep you safe”  
“I rely on you? Dean you are at MY house because YOU got kicked out and had nowhere else to go. You rely on me more than I rely on you”   
“No need to rub it in that I no longer have a home Castiel”  
Dean was angry. He never used Cas’s full name.   
“What do you call this then Dean? Because I call this home, because I’m with you. You’re the only person who hasn’t given up on me.”  
Castiel started out strong but when he got to the end his voice was so soft that Dean could barely hear him.  
“Cas I won’t give up on you, ever. It’s you and me against the world”  
“You can’t say that and then go make comments about ‘what’s up my ass’ Dean. It doesn’t work like that”  
“I didn’t mean to say that. People say things they don’t mean all the time. Cas I was talking to my brother. You walked out on the fight first. I know that you don’t get along with your siblings, but I put Sammy first.”  
“Goodnight Dean.”  
“Really? You’re ending the conversation because you’re losing the fight? And you’re meant to be the mature one.”  
Castiel didn’t reply but he felt a tear slide down his cheek as he rolled onto his side.   
“You told me you loved me the other night”  
Castiel’s eyes widened as he heard Dean say that. He thought that Dean was too drunk to remember.   
“People say things they don’t mean all the time Dean”  
As soon as Castiel said that he knew it was a mistake. Dean got up, walked out of the room and slammed the door leaving Cas by himself once again, thinking about what just happened.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

Castiel had little to no sleep that night. He was up tossing and turning all night. He guessed he had 1 maybe 2 hours sleep. He woke up around 5 am and knew he was not getting anymore sleep. He felt like he was going to go crazy so decided he’d go for a jog. He put on a pair of shorts and a thin shirt before putting his sneakers on and tying them up. He quickly stretched his muscles before going downstairs to grab a glass of water. He made sure to avoid the lounge at all costs knowing that Dean would be sleeping in there. He stepped outside into the fresh summer morning breeze. Although it was Summer they air was starting to cool. He started jogging and cleared his mind. He felt like he should apologise to Dean but he should wait for him to talk to him first. 

He jogged through the streets until the sun started to come up. He decided it was about time to head home so he decided he would sprint the rest. He walked in the front door and took off his shoes. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and had a bowl of cereal before heading up to his room. When he heard the shower going in his room he sighed. He knew it was Dean and he would be trying to take a shower while Cas was out. He walked into his wardrobe to pick out his outfit for today. He was walking out of his wardrobe when Dean was walking out of the shower. The two made eye contact and Castiel instantly put his emotionless mask on. Dean was the first to look away. He grabbed some clothes out of his bag that Sam bought over and walked back into the bathroom. Castiel decided to wait outside of the bathroom for Dean to finish. 

When Dean existed he didn’t look at Castiel at all. Cas walked into the bathroom and locked the door. He leant against the wall and slid down until he was sitting with his back against the wall. He put his head in his hands and sighed. He had nobody right now. Gabriel, Dean and probably Sam were all angry at him. He had a shower and sat in there for longer than he needed to, but he figured he could just get out, get changed then drive to school. He didn’t need to drive anyone today as Dean had his Impala. 

When he had finally gotten changed he walked downstairs to find his shoes and walked to his car. He left the door open assuming that Dean and Sam would be coming out shortly after. He drove to a small café and grabbed a coffee to go before heading to his school. He arrived just as the bell went, knowing he would be late for class he broke into a power walk. 

When he walked into his homeroom, he felt every bodies eyes on him. Miss Barnes gave him a look but didn’t write him down for being tardy. He sat at the desk closest to the door so he could leave straight away. He had his head down when somebody approached him and started talking to him  
“I’m super excited for your party on Friday night Cas”  
He looked up and saw that it was some random girl he had never talked to before.  
“It’s Castiel. What party?”  
“Gabe your older brother sent around a text saying that you’re inviting everybody to your house for a party ‘cause your parents are out”  
Fortunately the bell went so he was excused from further conversation.  
“He lied. Goodbye”

When he got to his History class, he sat down and he was pretty much the first person in the class. He pulled out his text book and started reading. He felt somebody sit down next to him, assuming it was Dean he ignored him.   
“Hey Clarence, where have you been lately”   
“Meg”  
“Nice to see you too.”   
Castiel really did not want to talk to anybody so he left the conversation there. He looked up to see Dean glaring at him in front of their table.   
“Move Meg. That’s my seat”  
“I’m just trying to talk to your boyfriend here, calm down Deano”   
“He’s not my boyfriend.”  
“It’s not that hard to find a new seat”   
“Just go away Meg.”  
“Clarence do you want me to leave?”  
Cas looked at Meg and then Dean. He shrugged his shoulders and looked back down to his text book.  
“You really put the ass in Cas don’t you. I was going to say everything’s okay after our fight last night, but now I don’t care. Don’t bother sitting with us at lunch. Just stick to your popular friends. Wouldn’t want to be seen with freaks like us would you?”  
“You’re over reacting Dean. It’s a seat”  
Dean rolled his eyes and walked away. 

The history class passed quickly with Meg talking through out the rest of the class and getting them both in trouble. Castiel quickly walked to his next class which was English. He started to break into a sweat which he thought was weird seeing as he wasn’t doing anything strenuous. He arrived at his English class and sat down. He was starting to feel really bad. He had a headache and he felt queasy. He put his head in his hands when he felt somebody approach him.   
“Cas you okay?”  
Castiel grunted. He wasn’t concentrating on who was talking to him, he just wanted to feel better. He looked up and tried to smile at a worried Charlie.   
“Whoa Cas all the colour has drained from your face. Maybe you should go to the nurse.”  
“I’m okay”  
That was all Castiel could say before he felt the nausea hit him. He got up and quickly ran out of the class room and sprinted to the nearest bathroom. When he ran in he saw the Jocks of his year in there.   
“Hey Cas! How are you man? Excited for your party on Friday night”  
Cas was grateful that they were leaving but he couldn’t help feeling angry at them. They used to bully him about everything, and now they were pretending to be his friends. 

He quickly ran to the nearest bathroom stall and kneeled in front of it. He heard somebody else come in and he groaned, he forgot to lock the door.  
“I don’t care who you are, get out”  
“Cas man you okay?”  
“Do I look okay Dean?”  
“It was a question Cas.”  
Castiel opened his mouth to reply but instead threw up into the toilet bowl. After Castiel finished throwing up, he un-steadily stood up and flushed the toilet. He stumbled over to the sinks so he could wash his hands and splash water on his face. He looked at his reflection. His face was as white as a ghost and his eyes were dull, blood shot and watery. He cupped some water in his hands and splashed his face. 

Castiel turned towards the door and started walking back to his classroom when Dean grabbed his arm  
“Where do you think you’re going?”  
“Class”  
“No, I’m taking you home”   
“I need to get my things then Dean”  
“I’ll get our stuff, wait here”   
Castiel nodded and leaned against the wall. A few minutes later Dean came out holding both of their bags.   
“I told Teach that you weren’t feeling well and I’m taking you home, lets go”   
Castiel tried to walk but almost collapsed. Luckily Dean caught him in time. He wrapped his arm around his waist   
“Dean I’m sorry about last night”  
“Shh it’s okay Cas, just focus on walking to the car”   
“I’ll make it up to you”  
“Okay. Come on Cas, we’re almost there” 

They finally made it to Cas’s car and Dean took the car keys from Cas’s pocket before buckling Cas into the passenger seat. He started the car and drove out of the car park.

“What about the Impala? How is that getting back home?”  
“Gabe drove us. Don’t worry about that, just try not to spew in the car”   
Castiel rested his head on the window and closed his eyes. He started to drift to sleep when Dean stopped the car and carried Castiel out of the car bridal style. Dean must have thought that Castiel was sleeping. Cas would have said something except he felt too tired and nauseas. Dean opened the door and walked past the kitchen. He heard Gabriel ask what they’re doing home and Dean mumble something about Cas throwing up. He walked up the 3 flights of stairs to Cas’ room before putting him down on the bed. Dean was puffing by this stage. He walked out of the room and Castiel felt worse. He really wanted Dean to stay and cuddle. 

He had his hand over his face when Dean walked back in. He kept his hand over his face when he felt Dean take off his shoes, pants and shirt. He was wondering why it didn’t feel as intimate as it should. 

Just as Dean was about to leave Cas grabbed his arm and held it. Dean looked at him with an eyebrow raised.   
“You okay Cas? You need anything else?”  
“Need you to stay with me”  
Dean hesitated for a few seconds but gave into Cas’ puppy eyes. He shrugged off his shoes, jeans and shirt and climbed into bed with Cas. When Dean lay down next to Cas, side closest to the wall so if Cas needed to get up and throw up he could, Cas instantly snuggled into his side. Dean wrapped his arm around his and held him tight.   
“Dean I’m sorry for last night. I meant what I said when I was intoxicated.”  
“It’s fine Cas, I get it. Don’t worry about it”   
Cas fell asleep shortly after. 

Dean made sure he stayed awake while Cas was sleeping in case Cas woke up and needed help. He thought over what Cas said to him. Of course Cas loves Dean. Dean loves Cas. It’s for the best that they are just friends at the moment. 

When Cas woke up again Dean had his lips softly pressed to his temple. It was dark now, he had slept all day and into the night. He soon realised why he had woken up as he had to run to the toilet quickly. He slammed the door shut and emptied what he had left in his stomach into the toilet bowl. After, he washed his face, brushed his teeth and opened the door to find a very worried looking Dean staring at him  
“Hey while you were in there I quickly ran down to get some water and some plain saltines, I heard they were good for stomach bugs or something, I dunno man”  
“Thankyou Dean”  
“It’s fine Cas, I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”  
“I’ll be okay Dean, I just need some rest”  
Dean nodded as Castiel walked back to his bed where they both fell asleep, tangled in each other. Dean decided that Cas resting was better than trying to sort out the fight. He fell asleep laying soft kisses to Cas’ hair and rubbing soothing circles on his back.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

 

The next few days were similar. Dean and Cas stayed from school, Dean stayed home as he wanted to make sure that Castiel would be okay knowing that Gabriel isn’t too good with sick people. He made Cas chicken soup and lay with Cas when Cas needed him. He made sure that Cas was staying hydrated and getting back to his full health. Sam would bring both of their homework home for them at the end of the day. 

Dean knew that he didn’t forgive Cas for his comment. He knew that Cas loved him, but what Castiel said was horrible and it cut Dean to the core. Nobody could’ve hurt Dean more than Castiel did that night. He knew they needed to talk about it but he wanted to wait until Cas was better. 

By the time Friday rolled around, the tension between Castiel and Dean had grown substantially. On Friday morning they were hardly talking, and were keeping a fair distance from each other. Castiel knew that he had hurt Dean, but he didn’t know how to even start to make it up to him. 

Cas decided that he didn’t like he had the energy to go to school on Friday, so he stayed home but insisted that Dean went to school. He needed to be alone. He lay on his bed and tried to figure out how to make it up to Dean. If Dean had said what Castiel said to him, he would never forgive him. He needed to explain what was going on in his head. He knew he wouldn’t be able to say the words to him face to face so he decided he would write a letter. 

He knew that writing a letter was coward-like but he felt like that was the only way he would be able to tell Dean. He got out a note pad and a pen and started writing.

‘Hello Dean.  
You are probably wondering why I left this letter, it is because I want to explain to you just what is going on in my head and I believe that it would be easier for me to write it down than to have to try to tell you. I know how I feel about you, and I’m sure that you know as well. I know that I cannot take back what I said that night, but please know that I did not mean it. I know that I must have hurt you in ways that I’m not sure can ever be fixed. This is a big year for both of us, it’s our Senior year. It’s our last year of school before we are forced to take on the world. I now you won’t be able to forgive me for a while, but please understand that I did not mean it  
Cas’

He left the note on Dean’s side of the bed. He decided that he’d need candy to help Gabe accept his apology. He quickly drove down to the grocery store closest to his house and purchased $20 worth of Candy. He arrived back home and went to find Gabriel. Castiel knew that he should have apologised to his brother days ago, but he needed time to swallow his pride. He went down the stairs to Gabriel’s room and knocked on his door.  
“Open”  
Castiel opened the door and looked at Gabe.   
“Castiel”  
“Gabe I’m sorry about lashing out at you. It was uncalled for. I brought you $20 worth of candy to make it up to you”  
Castiel swore he sore Gabe’s eyes light up. Gabriel stood up and walked over to Cas before engulfing Cas in a bear hug.  
“Aw Cassie I’ve missed you!”  
“So we good?”  
“Of course, I stopped being angry at you days ago! But you and Deano have some sorting out to do, you’re making everybody else feel uncomfortable. We’re having the party tonight, so get drunk and sort it out”  
“We’ll see. I am going to have a nap, goodbye Gabriel”  
“Cya Cassie”

Castiel was relieved that Gabe wasn’t angry at him anymore and they were back on good terms again. Gabriel was the only person in his family who Castiel could tolerate for more than 5 minutes. He always looked out for Cas, as Cas was always the youngest.

He walked back upstairs to his room and set an alarm for 2:50, ten minutes before Sam and Dean were going to be finished with school. He fell asleep fairly quickly and dreamt of green eyes and freckles. It was unusual for Castiel to dream about Dean but it has happened before. He writes it off as the sickness making his mind go weird. 

When he woke up at 2:50 sweating. He changed into swimming shorts and lay in the pool for a while. He heard Dean and Sam come home, the familiar roar of the Impala engine. Sam came out to talk to Cas while Dean went else where.  
“Hey Cas, you feeling any better?”  
“Hello Sam, yes thank you. I’m feeling well now”  
“I bought your homework home for you. Your teachers say get well soon. And so do your friends but you’ll see them tonight at the party”  
Castiel frowned. The party. He hoped that maybe he could escape without anybody seeing him. If Naomi and Chuck found out about the party they would probably ground them all for life. 

“Thankyou for bringing my homework Sam. Do you know where Dean is?”  
“Yeah he said he’ll be upstairs getting changed. He’s been up there for ages now though. We’re going out soon but Dean will be back before the party”  
Castiel nodded and smiled at Sam before Sam turned to walk away. Castiel decided he would leave his house before Dean came home. 

When he heard the Impala start up and leave he decided it was safe enough to leave the pool. He assumed that Dean had read the letter so he went upstairs and took a shower. He came out in just boxers and a thin grey t-shirt. He walked over to his bed where he found a piece of paper lying on his pillow. He picked it up and saw that it was addressed to him. 

‘Cas  
Hey Cas man, I don’t do this kinda chick flick stuff but we needa talk about this man. You hurt me, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I know you didn’t mean it but it still hurts. I’ve said things to you which were horrible which you’ve forgiven so I think that I can forgive you. Although we’re okay now, I’m still hurt. We can talk about this more tonight when you get some alcohol in you. Right now I’m taking Sammy out for some brotherly bonding and then I’m taking him home. I’ll see you later Cas  
Dean’

Castiel did feel better after reading the letter, until Anna knocked on his door. He looked up at her with a quirked eyebrow and she gave him an innocent smile.   
“Hey Cas”  
“Castiel”   
“Okay, Castiel. I was wondering if I could have Dean tonight, seeing as how you two aren’t talking?”  
“No”  
“Why not?”  
“He’s not a possession which you can claim Anna. He’s a human being, so treat him like one”  
“Look at you, getting all defensive over your precious boy toy”  
“Anna if he wanted you, he would be with you, wouldn’t he”  
“At least I can actually get somebody, Castiel. You’re stuck by yourself, having no social life, no one will ever love you, so just let me have Dean for one night”  
Castiel felt his eyes start to get watery. He looked down at his feet  
“You can have him then”  
“Good.”  
Anna walked out of Cas’s room and left the door open. Normally Castiel would say something about shutting the door, but he wasn’t sure if he could speak. He looked at the clock which said 3:57 pm. There was still a few more hours until the party. He wasn’t sure if he could stay in the house. He grabbed his car keys as he blinked back tears. He knew that Anna was heartless but he never thought she would stoop so low. 

He pretty much ran to his car and drove to somewhere which he felt was going to cheer him up. He wasn’t sure where he was going but he somehow ended up at the park where Dean and Castiel have spent so much time together. He got out of his car and walked to the swing set.

He stared at his surroundings. He’s never really noticed the little details about it. The tall oak trees standing tall, the flower bed, the park benches. His eyes find the moss and he’s instantly thinking of Dean’s green eyes. 

Thinking of Dean makes him feel sad again so he drives somewhere completely new. He turned off on a random road which said there was a lake at the end of the road. Eventually the track ended and it was only gravel. Castiel would have worried about his cars paint but he was too upset to care. He drove until he finally reached the grassy area which lead to the lake. Before he left he checked the time on his phone, it was nearing 5. He would only be able to stay for an hour and a half before people would start to worry. 

He climbed out of his car and walked towards the lake. He had to walk through an area surrounded by trees and grass. Finally he found the lake. It was beautiful. The crystal clear water was shimmering in the sunlight. He saw fish dart around in the water as he started to throw rocks into the water. There was something satisfying about the noise that rocks make when they fall into the water.

Castiel was laying on his back with his hands behind his head when he heard his phone ringing. He didn’t bother opening his eyes and checking for caller I.D when he answered  
“It’s Castiel”  
“Where are you man?”  
“Dean?”  
“No it’s Chuckles the Clown. Of course it’s me. Where are you? It’s almost 7?”  
“No it’s not?”  
“Uh yeah Cas, it is.”  
“I’m at some lake somewhere”   
“By yourself?”  
“Yes”  
“Cas come back now. It’s getting dark and it’s dangerous to be out by yourself when it’s dark”  
“Dean I can hold myself in a fight.”  
“Just come home now okay dude”  
“Yes Mom.”  
“I won’t start drinking till you get here. Then we’ll talk that okay dude?”  
“Sure”  
“Cya soon man”

Cas sighed. He really wasn’t ready to go back to the house full of people. He walked back slowly to his car. The drive back wasn’t too long, his mind was clearer than it was before so he took the gravel track slowly. Once he got back onto the road he started to speed up. 

When he arrived back at his house, there were already people’s cars in the drive way. He couldn’t find Dean’s car so he assumed he must be on an ice run or something. He parked his car in the second garage knowing full well that nobody ever uses that garage anymore. He walked back up to the drive way and into the house. He was instantly bombarded by people greeting him. Suddenly a drink was shoved into his hand by Meg

“Hey there Clarence, where’ve you been lately?”  
“Sick”  
“Deano’s been moping around the school. He’s even moping around this party asking everybody where you are”  
“I’ll go find him”  
“Last I saw of him he was going somewhere with your sister”

Castiel felt a pang of jealousy. But Anna was right, he wasn’t going to have anybody ever. He cared more about his studies than he did relationships. However he felt a surge of confidence and went to find the two of them. He walked around the bottom floor, looking in all the different rooms and then went up to the first floor and into Anna’s bedroom. The door was slightly ajar so he walked in. Anna must have spotted him before Dean did, as she pulled Dean into a heated kiss. Before they even got the chance to break it off, Castiel threw his cup at the pair. Dean broke the kiss first, looking at her with wide eyes before turning to Cas with guilt written all over his face. 

Cas stormed out of the room and back down to the kitchen to get more alcohol. He found Meg and demanded that she does shots with her. They manage to get to 3 shots before Dean finds Cas and takes him away. 

Climbing the three flights of stairs with a almost drunk Cas was hard for Dean, especially when he was almost drunk himself. They finally managed to climb up the stairs and into Cas’ room. Fortunately no other drunk person would be up to climbing so many stairs so Cas’ room was safe. Dean sat them both down on the bed and Cas immediately rolled away from him.

“Cas I promise you that wasn’t what it looked like”  
“Oh really? Cause it looked like you were making out with my sister”  
“Okay well that’s what it looked like but I was asking if she knew where you were and then you came in the room and she pulled me into the kiss”  
“Like I believe that Dean. You two have wanted each other for so long. She even asked me if she could have you for tonight.”  
“And what did you say?”  
“I said she could”  
“What the fuck Cas? Why?”  
“She said things to me and I just wanted to get out of there. Plus you’re a human being you can make your own choices.”

By this stage they had sat up and they were both facing each other, determined not to lose the fight. 

“You seriously don’t get it do you Cas?”  
“Get what Dean?”  
“Me. You. I want you and only you. Why don’t you understand that?”  
“Because you’ve never said it Dean”  
“What do you want me to say then Cas? Tell you that I love you and that I want to be with you but you’re too caught up in your studies to care. That I love you and it hurts because I know that you won’t be with me? That I love you and all your little quirks?”

Castiel stared at Dean with wide eyes and a slack jaw.

“Yes.”  
“What?”  
“I want you to say that stuff. Even though you’re drunk. I want to hear it”  
“I don’t have to be drunk know how I feel about you.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me it was love?”  
“I don’t know man, I didn’t think that I knew what love was. But loving you is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me”

Castiel frowned. 

“Hey Cas man, it’s not a bad thing. I love you and every little weird thing you do. I love your blue eyes and how all of your emotions are shown through them. When your angry it’s like the sea on a stormy night but when you’re happy they’re so light and clear. It’s the little things which stick out now. Trust me when I say this, I don’t want anybody but you. And if you don’t mind, can we keep this conversation between us. I don’t want people knowing that Dean Winchester has feelings”

“You love me”  
Castiel’s voice was so soft it was almost a whisper 

“I do love you. All of you, not just parts of you, but every little bit of you. From the big things to the small things. I just love you.”

Castiel couldn’t find any words to say so he put his hands on either side of Dean’s cheeks. He pulled Dean closer to him slowly, giving Dean a chance to back out if he wanted to. Castiel kept his eyes on Dean’s eyes. When their lips finally met it was an explosion of emotions. They held the kiss for what felt like an eternity. When their lips parted, Cas rested his forehead against Deans and kept his hands on Dean’s cheeks. 

“I love you Dean. I love you so much”


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

 

When Castiel woke up he was stretched out on the bed all by himself. He crawled out of bed and slipped into some sweats. His house seemed to have the air conditioner on a few degrees too low. He checked the time and saw that it was nearing to 12:30. He had wondered when Dean had left the bed, so he checked to see if Dean’s side of the bed was still warm. Dean could have only been out of bed for 10 minutes before he woke up. 

He felt his stomach grumble so he left his room and walked down the halls and down the stairs. Once he reached the first flight of stairs he began to hear yelling. He knew that one of the voices was Dean and the other was Sam. Castiel winced knowing that something big would have had to happen for Dean to be yelling at Sam. 

Castiel hesitantly walked into the kitchen and hung around near the entrance. He looked over to Gabe and saw the uncomfortable look on his face. Nobody had seemed to notice Castiel walking in. He chose this time at the perfect opportunity to eavesdrop.

“SAM I TOOK YOU HOME FOR A REASON”  
“YEAH WELL DEAN, I’M OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS.”  
“YOU MAKE STUPID DECISIONS. I COME DOWNSTAIRS AND FIND YOU SITTING HERE WITH GABRIEL WITH HICKEYS ALL OVER YOUR NECK TALKING ABOUT HOW BAD YOUR HANGOVER IS.”  
“AND YOU WEREN’T DOING STUFF LIKE THAT WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE”  
“I WAS BUT I DIDN’T SNEAK OUT INTO PARTIES WITHOUT MY OLDER BROTHER KNOWING”  
“DEAN YOU’RE BEING SO RIDICULOUS JUST CALM DOWN”  
“NO SAM. I WON’T JUST CALM DOWN. I’VE TAKEN CARE OF YOU FOR SO LONG, ALWAYS TRIED TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY, SAFE AND FED, AND NOW YOU GO AND DO SHIT LIKE THIS? I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS AT GABE AND CAS’ HOUSE, IT WAS STILL A PARTY AND IF I SAY THAT YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE, THEN YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE.”  
“YOU’RE NOT DAD.”

Castiel let out an audible gasp and everybody turned to him surprised that he was even in the room.   
“Cas tell Dean he’s being completely ridiculous and that I’m old enough to make my own decisions”   
“Oh no, don’t drag me into this. I don’t even know what the situation was”  
“But you’re my older brother too Cas. I need both of your opinions. You’re always the more reasonable one.”  
“Tell me what happened from both of your points of views, Sam you first”  
Dean scoffed but Castiel quickly gave him a look which shut him up. It was too soon for Castiel to be dealing with this, he had only just woken up after all.  
“Okay so get this, Dean dropped me home last night before coming back here for the party. Which I thought was unfair cause he’s only a year older than me and even Mum said it was fine if I went as long as I didn’t drink or do drugs”  
Dean cut him off with a snort and a roll of his eyes. Castiel narrowed his eyes at Dean  
“Dean. Let him finish”  
Dean sighed and looked at Sam.  
“As I was saying Mum said it was fine. Dad came home again and he was being a total SOB so I asked Gabe to come pick me up which he did. When I got here I was on a down buzz so your friend Maddie or Meg or something offered me a drink, so I took it. Then somebody offered me a shot and I didn’t want to get judged so I took it. And one shoot turned into 3. Gabriel found me before anybody else could give me more shots and made me go to bed.”  
“That doesn’t explain the hickeys Sam”  
Sam blushed and turned his attention to Dean  
“Dean your turn”  
“Finally. Well as you know I took little Sam here home because I didn’t feel comfortable with him being at the party plus I had other things to worry about and I wouldn’t have been able to keep a careful eye on him so I made him stay home and when I woke up this morning he was hear, hung over with hickeys on his neck and god knows where else.”  
Sam blushed more, and Cas looked over to Gabriel. He saw guilt in his eyes and half a hickey on his collar bone. The realisation of what happened hit Castiel like a tonne of bricks. 

He blinked a few times devouring the knowledge he had just gained and turned his attention back to Dean and Sam.  
“Okay well. Sam I’m disappointed, as your second big brother I know that I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with you being here last night. Especially if Dean told you that he didn’t want you here. Dean, you shouldn’t have reacted so strongly. You should have reacted in a calmer manor. I believe that you’re both to blame here. I also believe that Gabriel and I need to talk. We’ll have our brotherly moments if you have yours”

“Are you sure it’s such a good thing to leave those two in here by themselves Cassie?”  
“Dean’s 18 and Sam’s 17. They can both handle themselves as adults I’m sure.”

Castiel turned around and walked out of the kitchen after he sent the two Winchester brothers a look which was saying ‘if you do anything I will make both of your lives hell’.

Gabriel followed Cas out of the kitchen sulking. He hated to admit it, but it was kind of entertaining watching the two brothers fight. Castiel led them into the lounge room and they sat on the sofa side by side. Gabriel had assumed that Cas had figured out how Sam got the hickeys, so he tried to turn the attention off of him

“So you and Dean-o seem like you’re okay again.”  
“Yes. And after I finish talking to you, I’ll be talking with him”  
Gabriel opened his mouth to reply but he heard a door slam. It was only upstairs so it must have been Sam going into Gabe’s room. Castiel sighed and moved to get up, knowing full well that Dean would be about to do something stupid.

“I’ll go sort Dean out. Just be careful with Sam okay? If you stuff things up with Sam, Dean will make sure your bones will never be found. And I’ll join him. You’re both my brothers and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. Also, try to be more discreet with the hickeys. You’re lucky Dean doesn’t catch on that fast.”

“Please don’t tell Dean”  
“If you don’t tell him soon I will. Dean’s my best friend and he deserves to know what’s going on with the two of you. I’m not going to keep it a secret because you know Dean will get angry.”

Gabriel looked at Cas with pleading eyes before nodding and standing up.

“Make sure Dean-o doesn’t break anything”  
Castiel rolls his eyes and walks back into the kitchen. He spots Dean sitting there with his head in his hands. Castiel knew that Dean was hurting from Sam’s ‘you’re not Dad’ comment so he knew that he should comfort Dean. 

He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and pressed soft kisses into his hair.  
“Lets go out for a drive or a walk somewhere. I’ll buy you pie”   
“It’s fine. I think I’ll have a shower now”

Dean pulled himself out of Castiel grip and Cas let his arms fall to his side. He followed Dean to the bedroom where he put on a shirt and grabbed his car keys so he could go out and buy Dean pie. He regretted wearing sweats out. Although it was slipping into September and was starting to get cooler, sweats were still a bad idea. He bought Dean a whole apple pie and felt proud of his purchase when he arrived home. He grabbed two spoons out of the kitchen before walking out to the stairs. He crossed paths with Anna and they both refused to look at each other. 

When he walked into his room, he saw that all the curtains were shut and Dean was lying on Cas’ bed in just boxers with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You know, I don’t think glaring holes into the ceiling will benefit anybody”  
Dean grunted  
“I bought you pie”  
Dean looked over and saw Cas holding a pie and two spoons.  
“That explains why you’re fully dressed then. Normally you walk around in boxers and you won’t care. That ego of yours need to be turned down”  
“Funny Winchester, I seem to remember you talking about Valentines day and how half of the female population of our school would be sending cards to you.”  
“Hey we don’t talk about that”  
Castiel smirked and walked to the bed. He put the pie down and walked to the window to look outside. Storm clouds were brewing and that made Castiel happy.  
“It’s going to storm soon”  
“Are you saying that so you have an excuse to cuddle up next to me”  
“And you say my ego needs to be turned down.”  
Dean chuckled and grabbed a spoon while opening the pie. He had his first mouthful and almost moaned.  
“Shit Cas where did you get this? It’s amazing”  
“I bought it from the bakery. They gave me a weird look when I asked to buy the whole thing but let me purchase it anyway”  
“Thanks Cas.”  
Castiel knew that the thank you wasn’t just for the pie, but for being here for Dean all of the time. He could hear the sincerity in Dean’s voice.

“It’s fine Dean. I want to talk to you about something”  
“Go ahead Cas”  
“It’s about last night, how we were drunk and I told you that I loved you-”  
Castiel saw hurt flicker through Dean’s eye followed closely by anger.  
“Really Cas? Again? You know what, I’ll just go back to my house and deal with my Dad. I don’t need this shit after my fight with Sam.”

Castiel quickly grabbed Dean’s arm and pulled him closer to him and stood up. 

“Maybe you should hear what I have to say before you go off with your panties in a twist. I was going to say that I told you that I loved you last night and I want you to know now that I’m sober, I still love you. I mean it. I’m not taking it back, I’m re-enforcing it so you understand. I love you, even though you jump to conclusions and assume you know what I’m going to say.”  
“Oh uh right sorry man. I just uh-”

This time it was Castiel who cut Dean off. Cas grabbed Dean’s cheeks and pulled him close until their lips met. Castiel chose to deepen the kiss. He reached his hand around to grab the back of Dean’s neck and pull him closer. Dean slid his tongue along Cas’s lips and Castiel opened his mouth up for Dean. They spent the time exploring each others mouths as the rain started to pour. The kiss was far too intimate to be anything sexual but more the two of them showing their feelings and pouring their heart out into the kiss. 

When Dean pulled away he rested his forehead against Castiel’s. He put his hands on Cas’ cheeks and stroked his thumb across his cheeks gently. Dean didn’t take his eyes of Cas’ and it felt like Cas was staring into his soul. After a while Cas pulled away and spoke:

“I was thinking, we could start writing letters to each other. It seems as if we express our feelings in letters more than face to face.”

“Sounds good to me Cas”  
Castiel nodded and smiled. Dean felt like they should be doing something coupley before their moment was gone.  
“Lets watch a movie or something”  
“I have a better idea”  
Castiel started to blush as he said it. Not many people could cause Castiel Novak to blush easily but some how Dean always found a way.  
“And what’s that Novak?”  
“We could uh, cuddle and listen to the rain”  
Dean grinned. Dean Winchester was not a cuddler, but he thinks he can make an exception just this once.  
“If you weren’t so adorable I would say no. If anybody finds out that I cuddle with you, I’ll make your murder look like an accident”  
Castiel snorted and rolled his eyes  
“Like you could be able to kill me. You’d be lost without me Winchester”  
Dean frowned. That would be true. But he tried to keep his mind off negative things and enjoy the company which he and Castiel are sharing.  
“Come here Angel of Thursday”  
Castiel gave Dean a small, shy smile. One which was rarely used. He gave people his fake smile, the overly confident and proud smile, but this shy smile was reserved for Dean and Dean only.  
Dean thought he couldn’t be happier with Castiel here wrapped around him, listening to the pitter patter of the rain, but he felt in his gut that something horrible was about to happen.

And when Dean feels something bad about to happen in his gut, he’s hardly ever wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

 

It was safe to say that the Novak siblings were not looking forward to their parents returning home on Friday. Sure they missed their parents, but Naomi and Chuck weren’t really parents to them at all. Michael and Luce mostly raised themselves while Naomi and Chuck were busy with business. When Gabriel and Anna came along and Castiel a year after, it felt like they gave up on parenting and just focused on their careers. Part of Castiel hopes that they were focusing so hard on their careers so that they could put all of their children through school and college. But Castiel knew that that wasn’t why they worked so hard. 

Castiel has more happy memories with his siblings than he does with his parents. He always felt as if he was inconveniencing Naomi and her work when he tried to spend time with her as a child. Mary was more of a mother to Castiel that Naomi. Castiel has spent countless hours with the Winchester family. Possibly more than he has spent with his own. 

Through all of this, Gabriel and Castiel had always been closest to each other, while Michael and Luce were off competing against each other. Anna didn’t really connect with any sibling, only when she wanted something. Castiel had hoped that with age Anna would mature and stop using people but that never happened. She used her pretty looks to get her everywhere and everything. He felt sorry for his sister. Knowing full well that the amount of guys she slept with was to only get something in return. 

By this stage, Dean and Castiel had slipped into an easy routine together. They hadn’t labelled anything but they weren’t just friends anymore. Dean still gave Castiel his time to study, and sometimes he joined. Dean was sure he was going to make it work. 

Dean hadn’t spoken to John or Mary since he was kicked out. Sam and Dean were also barely speaking, making it tense around the house. It was like a time bomb waiting to go off. Waiting for somebody to say something and somebody explode. 

Gabriel and Sam still hadn’t told Dean about the hickeys and the secret kisses they share. Sam felt like he was old enough to make his own decisions, but he knew that day after day that he didn’t tell Dean about him and Gabriel, the worse Dean will feel and the angrier he’ll be. He knew that Castiel knew and he was close to telling Dean, but he was hoping and praying for the right moment to tell him. 

Sam felt bad for the comment he made about Dean not being his father, because in reality Dean was a better father figure to Sam than John ever was and ever will be. Sure John paid the bills for his family, but he never really cared for his sons. Especially not Dean. However Dean was always John’s little solider, doing whatever he asked straight away. While Sam was almost always bickering with John.

It was hard for Dean, always being second best to Sam. That’s why when Cas came into Dean’s life, Dean started to feel happy because for once he was put first in some bodies life. Castiel would do anything for Dean and the feeling went both ways. When Dean and Cas first started being bestfriends Sam felt jealous. He wished that he had somebody who he was so close to like Dean had with Cas. The pair would always spend every minute they got together. Sam felt like he was loosing his brother to Cas sometimes. But eventually Castiel picked up on that and started acting like a big brother to Sam and including him in some of the things he and Dean did as well. They all slipped into an easy rhythm with each other. 

While Sam and Dean were fighting, it felt like they both wanted him to pick a side, but everybody knew that he would always stick with Dean no matter what. The two were inseparable. Castiel still talked to Sam and even made a few sly comments about him and Gabriel, which would always result in Sam blushing like crazy. 

Dean still had a bad feeling in his gut by the time that Thursday rolled around. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everything with Castiel was going so well, but nothing good ever lasts long with Dean Winchester. He’s surprised that he and Cas’ friendship was still going strong and that they were finally something more. He wanted to tell Castiel about how he felt like something bad was going to happen soon, but he didn’t want to worry Castiel while he was studying, so he kept it to himself. 

Dean had learnt over the years that he should never keep things to himself because it always ends badly. He hasn’t had a need to keep anything to himself in a long time, knowing full well that Castiel would never judge Dean about anything. It really was Dean and Cas verses the world.

Castiel had been surprised how easy things were with Dean. He felt like he and Dean would fight the majority of the time, over stupid things. However Dean and Castiel got along famously and they were happy with each other. 

The house was getting more and more tense throughout the days when Sam and Dean didn’t talk. Sam still went to the Novak’s house every afternoon to see Gabriel but he completely avoided Dean. 

When Castiel finally went back to school on Monday he was asked the general questions such as ‘How are you feeling’, ‘Hope you’re feeling better’ etc. Castiel was bombarded by questions from people he wasn’t even sure he knew. He carried on giving people a charming smile and occasionally a wink. He couldn’t help but think how much that wasn’t who he really was. People assumed that because he was a Novak, he was charming and out going. Not a nerd, which was what he truly was. The only person who actually knew everything about Castiel was Dean. 

On Wednesday afternoon Charlie came over with Sam. She was still staying at the Winchesters house but she was missing Dean. She saw his every day at school but she missed talking to him individually. The rest of the Novak’s didn’t mind that the Winchesters were always in their house, they were pretty much family anyway. However when Gabriel and Sam started to get close, that’s when the rest of the family started to get interested. 

Throughout the years of Dean and Cas’ friendship, Gabe and Sam had never really been close. They had talked because they had to, but they didn’t go out of their way to talk to each other and interact. Castiel hated not telling Dean about the night of the party and how Sam got the hickeys. He had decided that if Sam hadn’t told Dean by Saturday, Castiel was going to tell Dean for him. He knew that it wasn’t going to be the best move but Dean had the right to know.

Meanwhile, Dean still had the feeling in his gut brewing so he decided to tell Cas.  
“Hey uh Cas, I have a weird feeling in my stomach that something bad is going to happen soon”  
“I see”   
“Cas this is serious, I don’t know what but I just feel like something horrible is going to happen soon”  
“Dean don’t worry. I’m with you if you’re with me”  
Dean nodded but he felt like that wasn’t enough to convince him that everything would be okay.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

 

It happened on a Thursday. A police man phoned the house and asked to speak to whoever was in charge, which was Michael at this point. Everybody watched Michael as he spoke to the police man, face growing more and more pale every second. When he hung up the phone he shock his head and kept his head up, not wanting to worry anybody. He told them he would be back soon. 

When Michael came back his eyes were red and bloodshot. He walked straight into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Luce and Gabe were in the kitchen watching him with curious eyes.  
“You know, Chuck’s going to rip you a new one when he finds out that you’re drinking his whiskey.”  
Luce told Michael with a smirk on his face.  
“Get your brothers and sister, we need to have a family talk”  
Gabe and Luce both looked at each other uncertainly but did what they were told none the less. 

When all of the Novak siblings had piled into the living room Michael spoke up:  
“Where’s Dean?”  
“In my room, why?”  
“Why isn’t he here? He’s family too isn’t he Castiel?”  
“I didn’t think that you thought of him like that”  
Anna decided that would be her moment to speak up.  
“Well I don’t. He’s not family, he’s just Cassie’s little boy toy”  
Castiel frowned and looked down at his hands.  
“Nobody asked for your opinion Anael, so don’t give it.”  
Castiel smiled at Luce for sticking up for him. Something which was very rare, he was expecting it from Gabriel but not Luce.   
“Castiel will you call Dean and tell him to get down here?”  
Castiel nodded and Michael and pulled out his phone and dialled Dean’s number.  
After a few rings he picked up  
“Uh hey Cas..?”  
“Michael wants you to come down and join the family talk”  
“But I’m not family?”  
“Well apparently you are to them now as well”  
“Oh no this isn’t the whole, ‘if you hurt Cas we’ll hunt you down,’ speech is it?”  
“I don’t think so. Just hurry down.”  
“Okay”  
Castiel hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.

A minute of so Dean came stumbling down the stairs. The rest of the Novak siblings were staring at him, Anna glaring at him. He took a seat next to Castiel and sat closer than he needed to. Michael looked at each of them individually and sighed.  
“The police man who called, it was about Naomi and Chuck. They decided to come home early to surprise us and um”  
Michael’s voice broke as tears started to stain his face.  
“There was an accident. It was pretty bad, drunk driver hit them.. Naomi.. She um, she died instantly and Chuck is in the hospital at the moment. I’m so sorry guys”  
They all stayed silent, as if waiting for Michael to tell them it was all a sick joke. Castiel tried to speak but his mouth wouldn’t move. He felt somebody squeeze his hand but he didn’t look who it was. 

Before he knew what was happening, his legs were taking him to the stairs and up to his room. He heard a faint murmur saying “I’ll look after him”, he assumed it was Dean so he didn’t stop. 

He started to sprint up the stairs and through to his room. He threw himself onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. He heard Dean close his door and walk over to the bed. He looked up to Dean with red brimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Dean had his jaw clenched as sat on the bed and shuffled closer to Cas. Castiel sat up and was instantly pulled into Dean’s arms. He held Dean like if he let go he would slip away and be gone forever. 

Castiel took a few deep breaths and pulled himself away from Dean. He wiped at his eyes and look at Dean. It was obvious he was trying to hold it together for Castiel and himself. 

“The rest of your family are going to see Chuck, we can go now as well if you want”  
Castiel nodded and moved to get up. He was held back by a smirking Dean.   
“I’ll carry you”  
“I can walk Dean”

Castiel quickly stood up and started walking towards the door but wasn’t fast enough as he was suddenly being picked up bridal style by Dean. Castiel struggled until Dean was forced to put him down. Castiel waited until Dean was walking in front of him when he jumped on Dean’s back. Dean immediately held onto Castiel’s legs so he wouldn’t fall off. He didn’t say anything to mock Castiel for wanting a piggyback but instead carried him until they were at Dean’s car.

“I’m driving, I don’t want you driving, it’s not safe”  
Castiel nodded and slipped into the passenger seat and gazed out the window. Dean knew by the look on his face that Castiel wasn’t admiring the scenery but thinking about his parents. He slid his hand across to Cas’ and stroked the back of hand with his thumb softly. Dean looked over to Castiel when they hit a red light, he noticed how tense Cas’ shoulders were, how his jaw was clenched and how he wouldn’t look Dean in the eye. Dean gently pulled Cas’ hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. 

Castiel looked back at Dean with a small smile which didn’t reach his eyes. He saw Cas’ heart breaking bit by bit, piece by piece. Castiel’s eyes were lacking the same intensity they normally have, and instead were now clouded and stormy. His face was a few shades whiter. 

Dean’s heart was hurting for Castiel. Dean was wondering if Cas was still going to find the light in life, or if he was going to push everybody away. He prayed to whatever God which was out there, looking over them, to keep Castiel okay. 

When they arrived at the Hospital they walked into the waiting room and Castiel went up to the reception desk asking where Chuck was. When he returned to Dean he was bombarded by Jo and Charlie hugging him like there was no tomorrow. He hugged them back for a few seconds before releasing them and going to stand by Dean.   
“Cas I know what it’s like for this to happen, so I’ve got your back okay?”  
Castiel nodded at Charlie and she smiled at him. 

“What room is Chuck in Cas?”

Cas pulled Dean in the direction of Chucks room and waved at Charlie and Jo slightly before turning the corner. When they arrived at the hospital room Chuck was in, the rest of the Novak’s were there already. Gabriel was sitting down in a chair next to Anna and Luce. Michael was in the room talking to Chuck with the door closed. Dean spoke because he knew Castiel wouldn’t be able to.

“Have you guys all been in to see Chuck?”  
He asked in the softest tone possible.  
They all nodded back at him, their eyes never meeting his. 

When Michael came out, his eyes were red and his hands were shaking. He looked at Castiel and walked towards him before enveloping him in a massive hug. Everybody felt the need to comfort Cas, as he was the youngest. They all emerged into a group hug and held each other close. When they pulled away Michael told Cas that Chuck wanted to see him. 

Castiel looked at Dean one last time before walking into the room. He slowly made his way to the seat next to the bed Chuck was on. The first thing that Cas noticed about Chuck were the numerous leads connecting him to various bags and drips. Then he noticed the bandages which were tightly wrapped around his head and arms. Chuck’s skin was pale and cold. 

Castiel sat down and grabbed his fathers hand. Chuck’s eyes flittered open and he turned his head slightly so that he could look at Castiel. Chuck’s eyes were dull and lifeless, his breathing was irregular and shallow. Castiel smiled down and him  
“Hey Dad”  
He saw Chuck’s eyes lighten slightly at the name ‘Dad’  
“Cas… Ti.. El”  
“Hey it’s okay, you don’t have to speak, just focus on getting better”  
Chuck shook his head   
“Dy..Ing Cas.”  
“No Dad no it’s okay, you’ll get through this.”  
Chuck shook his head again  
“No.. You.. good k-kid.. Cas..Tiel”  
Cas felt a tear slide down his cheek and he gripped Chuck’s hand tighter. This couldn’t be happening.   
“Dad I love you okay. I never said it enough, and I’m sorry that we drifted.”  
Chuck smiled slightly   
“Love y-y-you t..oo.. Ca..s”  
Cas’s face was littered with stray tears.   
“Hey Dad, do you remember when we used to get so sick of everybody fighting so we went up to the roof and lay there for hours, and nobody could find us and it was our –“  
Cas’s voice broke as the tears became more frequent.  
“It was just our thing”  
Chuck struggled to put his other hand over Cas’. 

It was almost as if Chuck was giving up. He knew he wasn’t going to live for much longer so he didn’t want to live at all. He wasn’t trying to keep himself alive anymore, his body was starting to shut down. He had said goodbye to his children and now he felt like he could go peacefully, and join Naomi. 

A Doctor came in and asked to speak to Castiel quickly. He was quickly pulled to the side as the doctor explained that Chuck didn’t have much longer and it was a miracle that he’s survived this long. Castiel nodded and went back to sit with Chuck. 

“Do you remember the first time we went out for a drive when I couldn’t sleep properly? I had a nightmare and I came to you because I was scared and you took me out on a drive and we got ice cream and I fell asleep in the car. And when you found out about my sexuality and you didn’t judge me but you told me to embrace who I am and don’t change for anybody. I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you for the past few year Dad. I really am.”

“It.. Ok.. Can.. I see.. D..Ean?”  
Castiel nodded and quickly went to get Dean. He waited outside while Dean and Chuck talked.

“Hey Chuck.” Dean smiled at Chuck  
“Take ca..re.. Of… Cast..Iel”  
“I will. I’ll protect him with my life, I promise you”  
“Pro..Pose.. One…Day”  
Dean felt a blush start to rise in his neck but he nodded the same. He bought Castiel back in as well as the other Novak’s who wanted to stay with Chuck in his final moments. 

They all reminisced about old memories when Dean felt like he should leave the Novak’s alone for a while. He offered to get them all food and left. When Dean was safely out of sight Chuck turned his attention to Castiel once again  
“Marry..That boy”  
He heard his other siblings laugh and he chuckled lowly  
“I will one day Dad”  
Chuck smiled at Castiel and turned his attention back to everybody else. He had one more thing to say to all of them, he knew his life was going to end soon, his body was shutting itself down, so he had to say it while his mouth was still working.  
“Naomi.. N.. I.. Loved you a..ll…Very..Much… Re..M..M..Ber”  
He closed his eyes as the heart monitors beeping started to slow.   
Beep. Beep. Beep.   
Castiel started to yell at his Dad not to go.   
“DAD NO. HOLD ON, KEEP FIGHTING”

 

Suddenly the room was constricting on Castiel as the doctors started to rush in. Tears were running down his face as he was screaming at his Dad to hold on. 

There was one final beep. The last pump of Chuck’s heart before he went to a hopefully better place. A place where there were no drunk drivers, no worries or cares. A place where he and his family could one day all be happy together. 

One last beep was all it took for Castiel’s world to come crashing down around him. He knew that Chuck would be watching over them all from where he was, making sure they were always going to be safe. Suddenly he felt 5 again, scared of the big bad world, and all he wanted was to be safe in his Dad’s arms. To be held and re-assured that everything was going to be okay, and not to worry. He felt arms wrap around him and somebody speaking to him, but he couldn’t hear them.

He stayed with Chuck, holding his lifeless hand with Dean wrapped around him until the nurses told him that he had to go and they needed the bed.   
“My father just died, and you have the nerve to tell me to leave? Where is your decency?”  
“Sir I’m sorry for your loss, but with this bed, we could be saving some bodies life”  
“You couldn’t manage to save his life, so what makes you think you can save theirs?”

Dean apologised for Castiel and the nurse turned and walked out. The other Novak’s had gone to sort out paper work and go home. Dean pulled Castiel up with him and Castiel started to try and break out of his grip.  
“DEAN STOP HE’S MY FATHER I NEED TO BE WITH HIM. STOP IT, STOP IT. I NEED TO STAY WITH HIM”

Castiel broke down into heavy, heartbroken sobs. He leaned fully into Dean as his whole body shook with his sobs. Dean patted his back and kissed his hair murmuring that it was going to be okay. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’ waist as they started to walk towards the door. Castiel pulled away and looked back at his father lying cold and limp on the bed.  
“Bye Dad. I’ll see you again one day. I love you”


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

 

Dean managed to get Castiel out of the hospital and into the car without too much of a struggle. Castiel’s face was an mask of no emotions. He was trying so hard to keep it together, he was trying so hard to be strong. The walls of his world were burning to the ground and he didn’t know how to stop it. 

Dean pulled Castiel out of the car and took small steps with Castiel while they were walking into the house. Dean carried Cas up the stairs knowing that he wouldn’t be able to. Castiel was pretending to have the strength they both knew he was lacking at this moment. He was afraid to break down and let everything out. 

Dean sat Cas down on his bed and gripped onto his shoulders. He looked him in the eye as he spoke:  
“Cas man you need to let it out. I know you’re trying to be strong, for yourself and your family, but you need this time to grieve.”  
Castiel shook his head  
“I don’t want to seem weak, I need to be a man about this”  
“Do you think that because you’re a guy you can’t cry? Because if that’s what it is, that’s bullshit. Guys can cry as much or as little as they want. There is no way to be a man about this situation, your Dad just died and you need to grieve. Crying won’t make you any less of the man who you are. You’re human Cas, everybody needs to break down and cry every once in a while. Even extra manly men like me cry Cas. It’s okay to cry and break down. Sob if you need to, break a few plates, it’s okay because I’m not going to judge you”

Castiel blinked once, twice and three times when the first tear slid down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away before taking calming breaths. Dean pulled him into a hug and he felt Castiel’s breathing change. Instead of calm and even it became shallow and uneven. Dean held Castiel tight and rubbed his back slowly. Castiel lifted his head away from Dean’s chest and looked at Dean  
“Naomi died knowing I was angry at her..” Castiel managed to get out between sobs.   
“She probably died thinking I didn’t love her Dean”

Dean’s heart sunk for Castiel, unable to comprehend the pain which Castiel was in at the moment.   
“Cas she would have known you loved her. Sure you fought but she would’ve known you loved her.”

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead before looking into his eyes. The normal ocean blue eyes were blood shot and red rimmed. He saw the pain in his eyes and tried to think of anything he could say to help him. Anything he could do. He was running through ideas in his head before Cas hugged him again and burrowed his face into Dean’s chest. Castiel was crying uncontrollably and didn’t seem as if he was going to stop any time soon. Dean picked Castiel up bridal style for what felt like the millionth time in the past 24 hours (not that he was complaining) and took him into the bathroom where he continued to sit him on the side of the bath. Dean turned on the water and walked back over to Cas when he was happy with the temperature.   
“Hey Cas, you feel like a shower?”  
Cas shook his head  
“I think we’re going to take one anyway, is that okay?”  
Castiel didn’t say anything so Dean started to take Cas’ shirt off slowly so he could stop if Cas wasn’t comfortable. Dean had stripped girls off countless times, but never a guy, and never Castiel. Normally Dean would be in such a rush to get the clothes off, but with Castiel he was taking it slowly and carefully. Dean left them both in their boxers, feeling as if they weren’t ready for the naked stage. He also didn’t want Cas to think he was taking advantage of him while he was in the current state of grief. 

Dean carefully walked him and Cas over to the shower and ran the water over Cas. Castiel had his eyes closed and leant against the shower wall. Dean gently ran the water through his hair and over his body then proceeded to pour some shampoo into his hands and massaged it in. Castiel slumped against Dean’s body resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean kept rubbing Cas’ scalp soothingly until Cas pulled back to look Dean in the eye. He kissed him gently before taking the shampoo into his own hands and massaging it into Dean’s hair. They washed the soap out of each others hair before Castiel sat on the ground with his back to the wall, Dean followed him shortly after.

Cas leant into Dean and Dean put his arm securely around Castiel. He felt Castiel sigh beside him and his body slump a little more.

“Dean I don’t have parents anymore”  
“Yes you do. Well maybe not blood parents but you have my Mom. You’re a Winchester too Cas. We’ll take care of you no matter what okay?”  
“No Dean, you don’t understand, my parents are gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Naomi, I haven’t even called her Mom in years.”   
“You got to say goodbye to Chuck which is something Cas.”  
“Dean I’m not 18 yet. What’s going to happen?”  
“You’re turning 18 in two weeks Cas, they won’t be able to do anything just yet.”  
Castiel’s voice went quiet and weak  
“You won’t let anything happen to me, will you?”  
“I won’t let anybody ever hurt you Cas. I’ll take on the world if I have to, I’ll do anything to keep you safe. I’ll adopt you myself if I have to”  
“I doubt that you would be able to”  
“I’ll look after you Cas. I’ll take a few weeks off work and we can maybe go on a road trip.”

They changed the conversation shortly after and talked about anything they wanted to until the water started to turn cold.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:  
A/N: Hey guys! I have internet again yay! I was thinking ahead and planning on what I want to do with this story, and I was kinda thinking I might give it a sad ending? But I’m not sure. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there! CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE DO ME A HUGE FAVOR AND WRITE A DESTIEL AU FIC WHERE THEY’RE BOTH FAMOUS ROCK STARS KIND OF, AND THEY’RE LIKE A DUET ROCK KINDA THING AND THEN THEY START PLAYING ‘POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME’ AND DEAN’S PLAYING THE GUITAR AND CAS IS SINGING PLEASE. YOU CAN SEND IT TO ME HERE OR ON TUMBLR. I’LL LINK MY TUMBLR DOWN THE BOTTOM. 

As August turned to September the air grew colder. The leaves were falling, preparing for the Winter and everybody was starting to stock up on the firewood, preparing for the winter ahead. 

Dean and Castiel were snuggled up under the blankets sharing lazy kisses occasionally. Dean was being a rock for Castiel while he was still in his stage of grieving. The other Novak siblings were getting on with their lives, Michael deciding that he had to now take full responsibility of the family while they were mourning their parents. 

Cas’ 18th birthday was coming up and Dean was excited to give him his gift. He had spent a month’s salary on it for Castiel. Cas wasn’t normally into birthday presents and celebration, but the way that Dean keeps on talking about it made Castiel curious. 

Everybody thought that Castiel was getting better, they really did. He was laughing and smiling now. Everybody except for Dean. When he heard Castiel laugh he could hear the lack of emotions and the smiles never reached his eyes. Castiel’s eyes weren’t the same blue anymore. As hard as he tried, Cas’ eyes were lacking happiness. Dean knew that if Castiel kept going this way he would end up in a deep and dark place. Castiel knew he should be confiding in Dean, he was his bestfriend, as well as boyfriend? Were they boyfriends or just friends with benefits? Castiel wanted to ask and clarify but he was partly scared of the result. He worked himself up for asking Dean, he needed to know.

Castiel had his head resting on Dean’s chest and an arm firmly wrapped around his waist. His right leg was resting between Dean’s. He closed his eyes as he spoke up:

“Dean, what are we?”  
“Humans?”  
Dean winked and smirked while Castiel rolled his eyes.  
“No, I mean, what are we? As in where do we stand?”  
“We’ll be anything you want. If you want to be friends, it’ll hurt but I’ll roll with it. If you want to be together then I’ll be happy and still roll with it. I’m giving the choice to you, cards on the table and everything”  
“Dean please, I want to know what you want.”  
“You. I want you. Now, forever. I’ll never be happier than what I am with you. I just want you, all of you.”  
“Okay”  
“Okay”  
“We don’t have to label it, I just wanted to know where we stood.”  
“I’ll stand with you always”

Cas sat up so he could look Dean in the eyes. The look that Cas gave Dean was filled with so much love and tenderness. Castiel smiled his small, shy smile which was only reserved for Dean and for the first time in a few weeks it was genuine happiness. 

Cas and Dean went back to school on the Thursday, the day before Cas’ birthday on the 18th of September. Castiel didn’t talk unless he was directly spoken to, and even then it was only one or two words. He only used full sentences with Dean. His day was filled with lots of hugs and apologies for his loss. Castiel smiled bitterly whenever somebody said that to him, as if they were the reason that his parents weren’t there anymore. As if their apologies could bring Naomi and Chuck back. Still he kept his head high and a brave face on, not going to let anybody other than Dean see him helpless and defenceless. 

Dean had let Cas drive them to school in his car that day, which he hated. He would’ve rather pulled up in baby, blasting ACDC or Kansas or whatever he felt like that day. Instead he was forced to listen to Cas’ indie music. However he didn’t complain or say a word. 

Dean and Sam still weren’t on talking terms, which was slightly awkward as Sam was always over with Gabriel, comforting him. He was starting to get suspicious about it, and went to ask Sam but he got a bitchface to rule them all and a lecture about how ‘Gabe needs somebody right now. You’re being there for Cas so let me be here for Gabriel’ which always lead to ‘Cas and I have been bestfriends since forever, you and Gabriel have never been close until now’ and Cas watching Gabe with a look of sympathy mixed with concern. When Dean found out and Gabe and Sam, to say he’s going to be pissed will be an understatement. 

However when they pulled up in the senior car park, they saw a familiar head of blonde hair. Mary came rushing towards Castiel and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. She pulled back and kissed him on the forehead before stroking his hair slightly and pulling him back into a hug. Castiel politely kissed her on the cheek and hugged her back just as tightly. When they finally pulled away due to Dean awkwardly clearing his throat she looked Cas in the eyes and smiled slightly. Cas smiled back, it was warm, and not completely fake. 

“I would apologise for your loss but that won’t help. So I’m going to offer you my love and support. I’ve always thought of you as my second son and I will always love you okay? I know that I’m not your Mother but if you feel like you need a motherly embrace or a lecture, I’ll always be here, with open arms.”  
“Thank you Mary, I love you too.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile, Cas and Mary had always gotten along famously. Castiel had even gotten Mary a present on Mothers day, he’d been doing that for almost 5 years. At first it was small things like cards and chocolate, but now they were more thought out gifts like massages and other things which Dean had always wished he could think of. Sometimes Cas and Dean would split the cost of something so Mary could get something extra lovely. 

The students seemed to be acting as if they were walking on egg shells around Castiel, waiting for him to blow. Meg went up to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, much to Dean’s displeasure. It seemed as if everybody had found out about Cas’ loss and felt like it was their own personal mission to try to make him feel better. Cas appreciated it, but he would have rather been left alone. He wasn’t at school to get peoples sympathy, he was at school to learn and get an education so he could leave that town behind. 

Mary left a few minutes before the bell and told Cas that he’s always welcome at the Winchesters household. While he was walking to class with Dean he got a text from Sam asking if they could talk at lunch. Unsure what Sam needed to talk to Castiel about he replied with ‘Meet me at the library at lunch’, Sam texted back to come alone. Cas knew it would be hard trying to go to the library by himself, Dean would want to go with him. 

Cas’ classes were boring. None of the teachers called on him and whenever they made eye contact they always gave him sympathetic looks. It was starting to drive Cas a little bit insane. When he asked teachers for catch up work they said ‘not to worry about it’. Castiel wanted to tell them that just because he had a massive loss in his life means that he should be treated like a child. So many people loose their family to war, sickness, old age etc. It happens every day. It felt as if the whole school was feeling sorry for him. 

When lunch finally rolled around he was waiting in the library for Sam. He went to his normal table at the back which is hidden from the rest of the library. Sam walked into the library and found Cas a few minutes later. Cas nodded at him as a greeting and Sam instantly blurted out:  
“Gabe and I are dating”  
Castiel sighed out heavily and looked at Sam in the eyes.  
“Sam he’s almost 3 years older than you. You really should tell Dean.”  
“But I’m telling you first because you’re the more practical brother and won’t yell at me and go crazy.”  
“When did you start dating?”  
“He asked me a few nights ago”  
“Sam he’s in a state of grief. I’m not trying to bring you down but you have to understand that he isn’t quite in the right space of mind at the moment. I think that you should wait a while until Gabriel isn’t grieving our parents anymore and then if you still feel the same then you can go on a date to test the waters, but tell Dean first.”  
“You’re mourning your parents and you and Dean are still together.”  
Castiel’s eyebrows raised at Sam’s tone.  
“Samuel you asked me for my advice and opinion. I’m giving it. Also Dean and I are the same age, we have been bestfriends for over 10 years and we were dating before my parents died.”  
Sam sighed and nodded  
“Sorry about exploding at you. It’s just stressing me out.”  
Castiel stood up and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder.  
“It’s fine Sam. You can always come to me but you should be going to Dean as well. He just wants what is best for you”  
Sam nodded and waved goodbye. Castiel smiled at him but decided to stay in the library by himself. 

A few minutes later Dean came in looking lost and confused. He found Castiel and walked over to him. 

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you”  
“Why?”  
Castiel must have sounded defensive as Dean raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Uh because you suddenly disappeared at lunch and I’m worried about you lately”  
“Why?”  
Dean sighed.  
“Because Cas, you lost your parents and you’re going around fake smiling at everybody and acting like everything’s okay when it’s not.”  
“Don’t assume you know how I’m feeling”

With that Castiel stood up and stormed off. He knew he should tell Dean about how he’s slipping into something much worse than he wants to acknowledge. He was going into a deep, dark place and he felt like he was trying to swim to the surface but he just kept drowning. He felt like the walls were closing in on him and he was running down a hallway with the lights going out. He didn’t want anybody to worry about him so he lied to other people about being okay. He assumed if he lied to other people about being okay that he actually would be okay. 

Art between the two was slightly awkward. However they were both working on their own individual pieces of art for it to be too awkward. When school was finally over Cas waited at his car for twenty minutes for Dean before giving up and heading home. His impala was still in the drive way so he assumed that he was just going on a walk or something similar. 

Castiel knew that Dean would text him if he was in trouble but after Cas finished all his homework, had dinner and his shower and it was dark outside he started to worry. He decided to call Dean just in case. The phone rang twice before Dean picked up.

“Hello Dean”  
“Hey Cas. What’s up?”  
“What’s up? Oh not too much. Just wondering where you are seeing as it’s dark and you made no effort to tell me where you were. But other than that, not too much.”  
“Sorry I forgot to tell you, Mom called and said that Dad wanted to talk things over so I’m staying here tonight.”  
“That’s a good thing, right?”  
“Yeah”  
“Okay well have a good night. I’ll see you at school”  
“Okay bye Cas love you”  
Castiel grinned and blushed.  
“I love you too Dean. Stay safe tonight”  
He heard Dean chuckle down the line before it went silent. Satisfied, Castiel went to sleep. He was feeling tired because he had been having nightmares lately. Not that he would tell anybody. He closed his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep. 

Castiel was in a dark area and he couldn’t see a thing. He walked around trying to find a wall or something that could indicate where he was, when he heart a voice.  
“I died knowing you didn’t love me Castiel. What a bad son you were.”  
“No Mom I’m sorry! I loved you! I did, please don’t leave!”  
“Don’t apologise Castiel, it shows how weak you are.”  
“Mom why are you doing this? Please just come back to me, please”  
All he heard was mechanical laughter. Then suddenly he was being shaken by something.

Castiel’s eyes flew open as he sat up. He looked around the room before his eyes landed on Dean’s concerned face. He smiled weakly at him before lying back down on his side. He pulled Dean into him, needing to know that Dean would protect him. 

Dean had come home early to wake Cas up before school. It was Friday which was his birthday. Which Castiel had completely forgotten? As Dean walked into Cas’ room he heard a small whimpers coming from Castiel. He watched Cas for a while before trying to wake him up. He was startled when Castiel shot up into a sitting position, his blue eyes looking young and scared. Whether it was the light in the room or how Castiel’s face was at that moment, he looked like he did when he was a child, afraid of monsters under the bed. 

“Cas man you okay?”  
“Yes Dean, I’m fine”

Dean went to reply but was cut off by Castiel leaping off the bed and into the bathroom. Dean knew something was up with Cas but he felt like he should wait until Castiel wants to tell Dean instead of pushing for what’s happened. He heard the shower start running so he shot into action. He grabbed two duffel bags and started putting their clothes into each of their bags. He was going to surprise Castiel tonight with a weekend in the city. It came at a good time as Castiel needed a break from this place. Once he was done filling the bags with clothes and items which were necessary he quickly ran down to his car, put the bags in and sprinted back up to make sure he was back before Cas was out. He had made it back just in time. Castiel was stepping out of the bathroom as Dean was just sitting down on the bed, panting slightly. Castiel gave him a look of confusion before asking him why he was panting. Dean’s mind froze. He couldn’t think of what to say so he blurted out the first thing which came into his head.

“I was holding my breath.”

Cas just shrugged his shoulders and got changed. He was just about to put his shirt on when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.   
“Happy birthday Cas”  
He heard Dean murmur into his ear.   
“I forgot it was my birthday”  
Castiel responded with a soft tone and a sad smile. He turned around so he could face Dean and pecked him on the lips gently. Dean smiled against Cas’ lips.   
“Come on birthday boy, we have school today”   
Castiel nodded and finished getting changed before looking at the clock. It was only 7, they still had another 2 hours to kill before school. Dean ran out of the bedroom signalling for Cas to follow. He jogged after Dean and heard him rummaging around in the kitchen. He had a plate of pancakes in his hands and a sheepish grin gracing his face.  
“Mom made these, happy birthday”  
Castiel grinned. He always loved Mary’s pancakes. 

7 pancakes each and 5 scoops of ice cream later, they were ready for school. Castiel was bracing himself for the annual ‘Happy birthday Castiel’ that he will get from people pretending like they’re close. It suddenly dawned on Cas that he hadn’t asked how the night with John went.

“Are you and John okay now?”  
“We sorted things out. He offered to let me move back in but I said I was happier here, with you.”  
Castiel blushed as he stepped into the drivers seat of his car. He and Dean took separate cars to school that day, neither of them too sure why. 

Cas was right, when he got to school he had countless greetings with ‘Happy birthday Castiel’. He smiled politely at them and walked to his locker. It was covered with ‘happy birthday!’ decorations. He took the time to look at each individual one when Dean had caught up and was standing at his side. He rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Meg and Bal walked up to them and she gave Castiel an envelope.   
“Happy birthday Clarence! I was going to buy you more bees but then I decided that I’d just give you the money anyway. You can spend it on whatever.”  
Castiel pulled her into a hug and when they broke apart she kissed Cas on the lips and winked at Dean. Dean scowled at her as she walked away with Bal. 

Cas opened his locker and was greeted by confetti being popped. He watched it fall to the floor while chuckling. He bent down to pick some up and then threw it at Dean.

“Confetti it’s a parade”   
Castiel smirked while Dean kept scowling at him.   
“Didn’t that Misha dude do that?”  
“Yes Dean, he did.”

The bell rang so they went to their classes. 

Castiel wasn’t paying attention in class. All he could think about was how he was spending his first birthday with out his parents. He would just lock himself in his room tonight and try to forget. Or he could find a liquor store. But then again he didn’t want to worry Dean. When the bell went for the last time that day he walked out of the class slowly and looked around. He was standing in the middle of a crowded hallway, people hugging goodbye and laughing together. He was surrounded by so many people but he felt so alone. 

He was shaken out of his thoughts by Dean’s arm wrapping around his shoulder.  
“What’s wrong Cas? I know that look, you’re thinking about something”  
“I’m just thinking about Naomi and Chuck”  
Dean nodded and let the conversation go. 

They got home and Cas found a banner in the kitchen saying ‘Happy 18th Cassie!”. He rolled his eyes at the nick name but grinned at the sign. Gabriel was the first to appear, he told him that he was going to get him a hooker for his birthday but the idea was shot down when Dean grabbed Cas and wrapped himself tight around the shorter boy. He was then given his birthday presents from his family, the newest iphone from Luce and new clothes from Anna. Michael told him that when he moves out is when he will be getting his present. They were all lovely and Castiel appreciated all of them, but they weren’t really special. He thanked them all for the presents and walked up to his room. Dean stayed behind with the rest of his family which was weird, but he shook it off. He walked into his room and found Gabe sitting on his bed with something in his hands. He looked at him with a soft smile and held out what was in his hand. Cas took it and ripped off the wrapping paper. It was a photo album. He started to look through the photos and found that they were of all of them from when they were still children. They all had big smiles on their faces. Dean was in most of them, always standing beside Cas. Towards the end were the photos of just Cas and his parents. When he reached the end he closed it gently and hugged Gabe with tears in his eyes. 

“Thank you so much Gabe. That was beautiful.”

Gabriel hugged him back just as tight.  
“I have been working on this for a while, but the photos of Chuck and Naomi at the end were slipped in a few days ago. Happy 18th, now go shower.”  
Castiel huffed out a laugh and walked into the bathroom and had a quick shower. He takes two a day and he was probably going to take another one tonight. 

When he got out, Dean had turned on his stereo and was listening to ‘Pour some sugar on me’ and singing along with the chorus. Cas loved it when Dean sang, it was when he was really open. He walked over to his wardrobe and looked for clothes. Some of his clothing was missing he noticed.   
“Hey Dean, do you know where my clothes are?”  
“Uh nope why”  
“Some are missing”  
Dean shrugged and turned his attention back to the song. When Cas was fully changed he stood above Dean who had his eyes closed.  
“I might do some study”  
Dean’s eyes shot open   
“No, lets go to the store and buy pie.”  
“We can make it”  
“No I want it now Cas”  
“It’s my birthday Dean.”  
Dean looked at Cas with his emerald eyes and pouted a little bit. Cas rolled his eyes and sighed  
“Fine. Lets go now then”  
Dean sat up and grabbed his keys.  
“We’re taking my car”  
“My pie only travels in baby, sorry Cas”  
Dean was being so impossible right now.   
“Fine.”  
Castiel didn’t talk to him until they had driven past the supermarket.  
“Dean where are we getting pie?”  
“Oh I lied. I’m taking you out for this weekend as a surprise. So happy birthday”  
Castiel grinned.  
“Where are we going?”  
“That’s the thing about surprises Cas, is that nobody is meant to know”

Dean looked over to smile at Cas as he grabbed Cas’ hand and kissed it softly. Cas had a feeling it was going to be a good weekend.

A/N: Somebody please write that fic! I’ll write one for you in return if you want? I just reaaalllllllyyyyy want that fic. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :D 

Tumblr: castielsnovaking


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 

They had been driving for what seemed like hours. At first Castiel assumed that they were just going to stay at a motel for a few nights to get away for a while, but instead they were driving to the city, and into the city. And driving a big Impala in the city wasn’t an easy task. 

“When we move to the city, we’re not bringing the Impala”  
“We?”  
“Oh uh I uh you don’t have to it just blurt out sorry”  
“We’re moving to the city together. But if Baby isn’t coming, neither am I.”  
“But Dean!”  
“No buts Cas, except for yours, cause yours is cute”  
Castiel blushed and Dean winked. 

When they finally reached their hotel it was already dark outside and Cas and Dean’s stomachs were starting to rumble. They checked in and grabbed their bags before heading to the room. Dean was starting to feel a little bit nervous that Castiel wouldn’t like the room. He had spent so much money on it because he wanted it to be perfect for him. 

Cas opened the door and stepped inside. He looked around and began to grin widely. It was perfect. There was a kitchen, a lounge room, a bathroom and a bedroom. The bedroom had two double beds which made Cas wonder why Dean had done that. Maybe he didn’t want to sleep together anymore? Maybe that’s why he bought him here, so he could give Cas one final weekend together. Castiel started to frown until Dean came up behind him, wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and started to kiss his neck. Cas closed his eyes and focused on what Dean was doing. 

After a while Cas turned around to look at Dean.  
“Thank you so much Dean. This is so beautiful”   
Dean grinned at him.  
“I’m happy you liked it. I’ve been planning this for a while, before we were even together so that’s why there’s two beds instead of one. I know you were thinking why”

Castiel blushed. Of course Dean knew that Cas would think that. Castiel lent in to kiss Dean. However the kiss lingered and Dean ran his tongue along Cas’ bottom lip, and Cas opened his mouth slightly. The kiss was starting to get more and more heated as their chests pressed together. Dean’s hands started to roam down Cas’ body while his tongue was licking the roof of Castiel’s mouth. Dean rested his hands on Cas’ hips and was about to start to put his hands up his shirt when his stomach rumbled. 

Cas pulled back with a smirk. He looked so adorable, lips even more plump from the kiss. It was their first make out and they both thought it went well. Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him out the door. 

They walked for a while before stumbling on a small Italian restaurant. They walked in and found a table. It wasn’t too crowded but the smell was delicious. They settled on a large Pizza for them to share. Dean grumbled about it but he saw the sizes for the pizzas and grudgingly accepted. Fortunately Cas wasn’t like Sam who liked Veggie pizzas. Cas liked them cheesy and meaty. He refused Hawaiian pizza because ‘Pineapple does not belong on pizza’ which Dean did have to agree with. 

They ordered and Dean made special note not to stare at the Waitresses chest or he would never hear the end of it from Cas. However it was not Dean that the waitress was flirting with. She slid her number onto the table subtly and winked as she walked off, swinging her hips a little more than what was normal. Dean grumbled something un-intelligent and Cas chuckled. Luckily Cas knew that he was far more into males than females. He had experimented with a few females, he even had sex with a girl called April. After her, Cas knew that he was defiantly not straight but instead interested in Dean. 

They made small talk until the pizza came and Cas could’ve sworn he saw Dean’s eyes light up. They started to eat and Dean moaned.  
“Dude it’s like my mouth is having an orgasm or something”  
“Dean we are in a restaurant! Be classy!”  
“Oh I’m sorry. This pizza is absolutely delicious, pardon my horrible manners good sir”  
“Aw are you trying to be funny Winchester?”  
Dean scowled and continued to eat his pizza. They finished it within 5 minutes and play fought of the last piece. Castiel pulled the ‘it’s my birthday’ card on Dean.   
They went up to the counter to pay, and were being served by the waitress who was hitting on Cas. She had long brown hair and blue eyes, no where as nice as Cas’s. Cas could tell that Dean was getting irritated with her so he improvised. He made sure she was watching when he pulled Dean into a deep kiss. He pulled away and looked him in the eyes.  
“Thank you for the most wonderful 5 year anniversary babe. I love you so much!”  
“I love you too honey, it’s grown deeper over these past 5 years”  
“Aw you’re so adorable”

They turned back to the waitress who was scowling at Dean. Out of jealousy or pure loath neither of them knew. As they were walking out Dean put his hand over Cas’ butt and squeezed then proceeded to turn around and smirk at the girl. 

“So what else do you want to do for the rest of our 5 year honey pie cutie cupcake?”  
“Oh shut it Winchester. I was doing it for your benefit.”  
“Don’t lie Novak, you know you want to be with all this for at least 5 years”  
Castiel looked down and smiled.  
“I really do”

Dean grinned and pulled him into a sloppy kiss which made Castiel laugh. Suddenly Dean’s eyes widened and Castiel thought something was wrong. He was about to ask when Dean cut him off  
“Dude you need birthday Pie!”  
Castiel faked shock  
“Oh my how could I forget birthday pie!”  
“Hey shut it. Lets go find somewhere which does pie and take it somewhere”  
Castiel nodded and started walking. He pulled out his phone and looked at the texts and read the time. It was nearing 10 pm, and most of the texts were from people saying ‘Happy birthday’. He stopped scrolling when he saw Mary’s name. He opened it and read it with a smile  
‘Happy birthday Castiel! You’re 18 now and completely independent! However don’t think you can get away with too much without me pulling you back down to earth. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with Dean sweetie. Love you from all of us.’ 

He grinned and Dean asked him why he was smiling so much. He showed him the text and Dean started to smile as well. He sent a quick text back thanking her. They found a little bakery which was closing for the night and chose 3 different deserts. They got Apple and Cherry pie as well as Cheesecake. You can never go wrong with pie and cheesecake. They took it back to the hotel and ate while watching a movie on TV. It was the Avengers and they were lying if they didn’t swoon a bit when Robert Downy Jnr came on the screen. When they movie finished it was nearing to 12:30 so they decided to have quick showers and go to bed. Castiel showered first and was scrolling through his messages while he waited for Dean to come out of the shower. When he did he was just wearing boxers very similar to Cas. 

He climbed in next to Cas and snuggled into his side. Cas turned off the bedside light and put his phone down. 

“Thank you Dean, for all of this. It’s been so pleasant to get away from everything and I’m happy I got to spend today with you. I kinda realised that I’m not alone, you’ll always be there next to me.”

Dean didn’t know what to say so he kissed him. He kissed him with so much raw emotion, all the words he wasn’t able to say came out in those kisses. However as the kisses became longer and more heated Cas found himself climbing on top of Dean to straddle him. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to pass the sexual boundary but he tried to push that thought out of his mind. He left Dean’s lips to start giving open mouthed kisses on Dean’s neck, collar bones and chest in general. Dean was starting to groan with anticipation and he couldn’t take it anymore so he flipped Cas over so he was on his back and Dean was lying on top of him. He leant in again to kiss Cas again and explore his mouth further. He eventually returned the favour and gave Castiel hickeys on his neck and collar bones. He was about to start moving his hips against Cas’ when his phone rang. Cas checked the caller id and found it was Gabe.

“Dammit! I told Sugar Lord over there only to call if it was an emergency, so you should probably answer Cas”  
Castiel nodded and was still slightly out of breath when he picked up the phone.

“Gabe what’s going on?”  
“Wow there Cas, you seem a little bit out of breath there?”  
“Why did you call Gabriel?”  
“Oh no reason. I was just being a cock block. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Love ya bro bye!”

Castiel was going to reply but Gabe hung up too quickly. He sighed and rolled his eyes before turning off his phone. Dean had rolled off Cas by this point and was lying on his back with his hand over his face. Cas turned on his side so he was facing Dean.  
“What did Gabe want Cas?”  
“To cockblock. I’m not surprised honestly”  
“Well he succeeded. The mood is gone”  
“Oh well. I’m happy to settle for cuddling.”  
“I’m happy to settle for anything which involves you”

Castiel smiled and yawned. He snuggled into Dean’s side, head on Dean’s shoulder and kissed his cheek.  
“Goodnight Dean”  
“Night Cas, sleep well, sweet dreams”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just put what I have to far on A03! Also I was kind of thinking about giving this a sad ending, kind of like Twist and Shout but not the same? Ideas? Ps this is my first fic and it's un-beta'd so sorry if there's mistakes!


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

A/N: So I’ve had a few requests not to do a sad ending BUT I WANT TO SO BADLY :( Sooooo here’s the next chapter. Thank you for all the favs/follows and reviews! Honestly I’ve wanted to give up on this story so much, but your feedback and follows and favs give me the motivation I need to get out another chapter! If you’re lucky I’ll write a sequel! If that’s what you guys want idk

Dean woke up before Castiel that morning. He knew that Cas wouldn’t be waking anytime soon so he watched him for a while. Not in a creepy way, but in a way where he was adoring every little breath and movement. He was looking at Castiel so fondly he felt like he was radiating love. He ran his fingers gently through Cas’ hair and kissed his forehead softly. Cas rolled onto his side so he could snuggle into Dean more, but Dean quickly stood up. He was going to go out and buy some coffee for the two of them. It was fairly warm outside so he just wore jeans and a black v neck. He slipped out of the hotel room and caught the elevator with a busty young lady who was flirting with him. He smiled at her as he walked out and started moving towards the street outside the hotel. He tried to find somewhere which looks like it would sell good coffee, but all he found were star bucks and all the lines were massive.

A few minutes later he stumbled across a McDonalds and smiled. He used to have McDonalds breakfast with Mary sometimes and it bought back memories. He walked in and ordered 2 bacon and egg McMuffins as well as pancakes, coffee and hash browns. The hash browns from McDonalds were to die for. 

Satisfied with what he got he started walking back to the hotel. He checked his phone and saw no texts which he assumed was a good thing. He was relieved to find that the girl who was hitting on him earlier was no where to be found. He whistled while he was riding in the elevator and when he slipped back into the hotel room it was still empty except for a sleeping Cas in the bedroom. 

He walked into the bedroom and stripped down until he was in his boxers again. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around Cas. However when he did that Castiel flinched. He tried again but this time Cas’ whole body jerked. He started to whimper and pant. Dean tried to grab him but Cas flailed his arms around and ending up hitting Dean in the cheek pretty solidly. That’s when Cas started to yell. It started out with him just saying Dean’s name and his whole body shaking, but then he started to yell ‘don’t come near me’. Dean was starting to worry at this point and he was trying to wake Cas up. He tried shaking him and yelling at him. Nothing worked so he pinned Cas down and started to kiss his lips softly until he started to calm down. Dean pulled back and started to stroke his cheek softly as he watched Cas’ eyelids flutter open. 

Dean wanted to bring it up but he knew that talking to Cas just after he had woken him up would be a bad idea. So he decided that he didn’t know that it had happened.

“Good morning sunshine”  
Castiel glared at him  
“Why did you wake me up”  
Dean tried to think of a good lie  
“I bought breakfast and didn’t want it getting cold”  
“It better involve hash browns Winchester”  
Dean smiled and winked at him before walking out the room. 

He was setting up the food on plates when Cas walked in. Dean took a moment to look over Castiel only wearing boxers. The light which Castiel was in made him look angelic. Even though his hair was sticking out left, right and centre and his eyes were still slightly puffy from sleep, he looked gorgeous. It wasn’t unusual for Castiel to look gorgeous and beautiful, but right now he was absolutely angelic, he looked as if he was glowing. Dean was snapped out of his thoughts by Castiel staring at him through narrowed eyes and suspicion laced throughout his voice.

“Why are you staring at me like that Dean?”  
Dean blushed and smiled down at his face before muttering  
“I was just looking at how beautiful you are”  
He snuck a look up at Cas who was still staring at him, head tilted now.   
“What?”  
Dean was not going to choose this moment to be shy.  
“I was just admiring how beautiful you are”  
He watched Cas’s face change through a series of emotions, confusion, wariness, hope, happiness and it rested on a loving look. He smiled at Dean with so much emotion in his eyes that Dean thought they were going to burst. He took a few steps towards Dean, wrapped his hands around his neck and grinned so widely at him. He looked so happy in that moment. Dean wanted to take a photo so he did. He subtly reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, snapping a few photos of Cas. 

Castiel just shook his head and sat down at the table. When he saw the hash browns his eyes lit up even more.   
“You’re the best Winchester”  
He said messily through mouthfuls of hash brown.   
Dean smiled at him   
“I’m aware of that Novak”

Cas rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue at Dean   
“Dude I can see the food on your tongue”   
“Oh my apologies, that wasn’t the intended outcome.”  
“Hey don’t try to use those big words to confuse me”

Cas chuckled and continued eating. 

When they had finally finished they both felt lazy and didn’t really feel like doing anything for the morning. Dean still needed to talk to Cas about the nightmares so he took his hand and walked them both into the bedroom and lay down facing each other. 

“Hey Cas, can we talk?”  
He saw panic go through Cas’ face and quickly added things on  
“Oh no no no, not like that kind of talk. I just.. Can you answer something for me honestly, please.”

Cas hesitantly nodded 

“What was with this morning? Are you having nightmares Cas?”

Cas went to roll over but Dean grabbed his hip and made sure he stayed there. 

“No Dean.”

“Cas I asked for you to answer me honestly”  
“Dean I am fine okay?”  
“Cas!”  
“What?”  
“Please stop lying to me. I want to be here for you but I can’t be if you keep lying to me?”  
“Dean drop it. I’m fine okay? Just leave it”

Dean sighed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door as he walked out. He heard Castiel yell 

“WOW DEAN SLAMMING THE DOOR AFTER AN ARGUMENT? HOW MATURE ARE YOU!”

He must have really pissed Castiel off to get a reaction like that from him. This was really not the way the weekend was meant to go.

 

A/N: I hope this chapter was okay? I’VE HIT POST LIMIT 5 HOURS BEFORE IT RENEWS GUYS AND THIS IS NOT OKAY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the newest chapter! Thank you for the bookmark/kudos!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Dean walked into the kitchen and leant against the bench. How could he have fucked up so tremendously in such a little time. Castiel was always the mature one out of the two of them. He knew that something was defiantly up with Cas which is why he reacted so strongly to Dean asking that. He needed to explain to Cas that everything would be okay and he just needed to trust him. He walked back into the bedroom to talk to him but heard the shower running. He ran a hand over his face and sighed. 

An idea popped into his head and decided he knew what to do. He found a pad of paper and a pen and started to write a letter to Cas. He remembered Cas telling him how much he loved letters a few weeks ago.

‘Hey Cas. 

So I uh kinda screwed up pretty bad. I’m sorry if I over stepped my boundaries. I just wanted you to be okay and not scared. When Dad kicked me out I had nightmares too, but when I woke up and knew that you were near me I was okay again. I just want to help you and you need to trust me. How ever if you don’t want to talk about if you’re having nightmares or not, and I’m not saying that you are, but I will drop it. However if you do want to talk about them I’ll always be here for you. Anyways if you’ve forgiven me enough I’ll be waiting in the lounge. I have a surprise for you if you’re up for it. 

I love you. Me and you against the world, okay? You don’t need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, especially when you have me. I’ll take half of the weight for you.

Dean xx’

He read over it again a few times and nodded. He folded it in half and lay it on top of Cas’ phone, where he knew he would read it soon. 

So he walked out to the lounge and waited. He hated fighting with Castiel. He hated knowing that they weren’t okay. They’re both stubborn so little arguments weren’t rare but fighting was. They hardly ever fought unless it was something big. He had his head in his hands and didn’t hear Cas come out of the bedroom until he felt hands cover his eyes. He jumped at the touch before sitting up and spinning around to face Cas who was standing on the other side of the couch.

He was about to reach out to Cas but Cas tapped him on the arm and yelled ‘YOU’RE IT’ before running away. Dean laughed, it sounded weird for the words ‘you’re it’ to come out from such a deep voice. He began to chase Cas around the hotel room noticing he was picking up several items as he ran. He didn’t realise what was going on until he saw Cas pick up his shoes and run out the door into the hotel hallway. Dean quickly ran around fetching his phone, wallet and shoes before taking off after Cas. 

He decided to take the stairs as he couldn’t be bothered waiting for the elevator, and as he approached the front doors for the hotel he quickly slipped on his other shoe, temporarily forgetting that he was wearing only one shoe. He burst through the front doors of the hotel and looked both ways before seeing Cas take off again. He grinned and started to run after him. A few people were staring wondering what was going on but they noticed the two boys were smiling and laughing so they shrugged it off as teenage antics. As Cas ran further and further into the city, Dean started to lose him. Cas started to blend into the crowd more as he started to walk. He found a little stall selling magazines and news papers to the side a bit so he quickly walked over and pretended he was reading a newspaper while Dean walked around looking confused and slightly worried. 

Once Dean was far enough ahead Cas put the news paper back and smiled at the person running the stall who was looking at him weirdly before walking after Dean. He was only about 5 metres behind Dean when Dean stopped and started to look around. Cas quickly walked to the side a bit more until he came up behind Dean and put his eyes across his eyes once more. Dean put his hands over Cas’s hands and turned around smiling. When Cas finally took his hands away he went to start running again but Dean grabbed his wrist just in time. 

“Oh no you don’t. No more running off for you Mister.”

Cas grinned cheekily at Dean. 

“Where to now?”  
“I have an idea Cassie”  
“Don’t you ever call me that again Dean”  
“That’s what you get for running off”  
“Lead the way Whinechester”

Dean pulled Cas in the way which they were meant to be going. It took about 10 minutes to walk to their destination and when they got there Cas couldn’t stop smiling. 

“You bought me to a fair?”  
“There’s candy floss, rides and farm animals somewhere. Lets go”

They walked into the fair grounds and looked around. Something immediately caught Cas’ eyes. Bumper Carts. Cas excitedly grabbed Dean’s arm and pulled him towards the bumper cars area. 

“Let’s test to see who’s the better driver, even though it’s obviously me.”  
“Oh it’s on Novak”  
“Bring it, Winchester.”

They paid the admission fee and both chose a car. When they started they were driving carefully until Cas sped up and drove straight into Dean. That’s when the real competition started. Throughout the whole thing it was pretty evenly matched until right at the end when they were about to stop, Dean drove into Cas’ car one more time with such force that it spun.   
He was getting ready to get out and run to Cas and started apologising and see if he was hurt but he heard Castiel’s laughter and then he couldn’t help but laugh too. 

When they exited the area for the bumper cars Dean started to brag.  
“Oh so Cas who’s the better driver? I’m probably stronger too.”  
“Oh really? Fine go test out your strength and win me a teddy bear”  
“Seriously Cas? You want me to win you a teddy bear? As if I wasn’t gay enough”

He saw hurt flicker across Cas’ face and immediately regretted his words.

“Oh well, if it’s for you then I’ll do it. Just you wait, I’m going to win you the biggest teddy bear ever okay Cas?”

Cas smiled and nodded.

Dean did end up winning Cas a teddy bear, but not as big as the one Castiel won for him. At first Cas wasn’t going to try but he didn’t really want to admit that Dean was stronger. So he tried his luck and ended up winning Dean a big teddy bear, about half the size of himself, with blue eyes and angel wings. Dean chose it as he said it reminded him of Cas, and Cas chose the bear which was slightly smaller with a Leather jacket as it reminded Cas of Dean. 

They wondered around for a while eating candy floss, going on a few more rides. However there is only so much you can do at a fair before it starts to grow old. Especially for 18 year old boys. At around 3pm they started to make their way back to the hotel to retire for the day as Cas decided that he wanted to make dinner instead of go out. He insisted that they bought a bottle of wine as well, and Dean used his fake ID to get it. Dean didn’t use his fake ID often, but he assumed ‘fuck it’. 

They walked to the supermarket not too far from their hotel to pick up the ingredients which they would need. They were making Lasagne so they grabbed the basics, cheese, mince, lasagne sheets etc. Dean slid a whole pie into their purchases and gave Cas the best puppy dog eyes that he possibly could before Cas agreed that they would buy it. 

They ventured back to the hotel and were receiving weird looks from people. They had almost forgotten why. Almost. It was an unusual sight for two teenage guys to be walking around the city holding giant teddy bears but the pair didn’t care. They were happy together and that’s all that mattered.

When they got back to the hotel Cas started on the cooking. Cas was actually a really good cook but he didn’t really cook that much unless he wanted to. 

He was done making everything and getting it ready in half an hour, and now all that was left was the dishes. Dean came in and helped Cas do the dishes so it would be done quicker. It was nearing close to 5pm when Cas put the Lasagne into the oven to bake. They decided to watch a movie while it cooked. 

They skimmed through the channels and the only good movie which was on was Mean Girls. The two of them spent the whole time quoting the movie and laughing. By the time the movie was over it was time for the Lasagne to come out of the oven. 

By this stage the hotel room smelt delicious from the cooking and both of their stomachs were rumbling. They let it cool down for 15 minutes while they set up the table and opened the wine. Dean was whining about how they had to drink wine instead of something good like beer or shots. He even made a comment about how Cas can handle his shots better than any other alcohol and Cas just rolled his eyes.

“Cas why did you decide to make dinner and get wine?”

Cas looked away and shrugged. 

“Cas what are you not telling me? And don’t say nothing because you suck at lying and your cheeks are going red.”

Castiel kept looking away and blushing

“Oh you wanted this to be a romantic dinner didn’t you! Aw Cas you lil’ cutie.”  
“NO”  
“Uh uh don’t lie to me mr I’m an angel of Thursday”  
“Okay fine maybe I did want it to be a little bit romantic but it’s our last night in the city before we have to go back to school and our family and I kinda wanted it to be special”

Dean pulled Cas into an extra tight hug and kissed him slowly. His stomach rumbling killed the mood however. Cas pulled back and chuckled before making his way back into the kitchen to bring out their dinner.

They served up, poured some wine into their glasses and dug in. Dean was being as inelegant as always, moaning every time he took a new mouthful and Cas rolling his eyes.

“Cas buddy you gotta start cooking for me more man.”  
“I could get used to this.”  
“I could get used to your cooking too Cas”  
“I wasn’t meaning my cooking Dean.”  
“Oh?”  
“I was meaning the whole living in the city and cooking for one another and being domestic”

It wasn’t that Dean didn’t want to live with Cas, because he really did. Even though he was living with Castiel at the moment, he wanted to live with him, with just each other. But something about big commitment has always scared Dean. 

Dean gulped down the rest of his wine and filled up his glass again. 

“Sorry Dean I didn’t mean to say anything that would make you uncomfortable. My apologies.”  
Dean risked a look up at Cas’ face and saw how badly he was trying not to look hurt. 

“Na Cas man, I do wanna live with you, it’s just I get kinda scared about the future ya know?”

Cas nodded and went back to eating. They finished the Lasagne and started to eat the pie until that was gone too. 

“Man we eat so much”  
“I’m surprised we’re not obese”   
“You and me both Cas”  
“The only thing we didn’t finish was the wine”  
“We can change that.”

And that’s how it turned into who would finish their glass of wine first. They both know they would regret it in the morning, wine leaves a nasty hang over, but for the moment they were enjoying themselves. 

They started to talk for hours, drunken slurs and all. By the time they looked at the clock again it was nearing 1 in the morning. Cas had always been able to handle his alcohol better than Dean, unless it was beer. He was pretty much hammered off of one beer. But wine he could handle. So he was able to walk properly whereas Dean was finding it hard to even stand up without his legs turning to jelly. 

Cas wrapped a secure arm around Dean’s waist and started dragging him towards the bedroom.

“Whoa Cas if you wanna get me into bed you’ll have to treat me to dinner first”  
“Dean I just did. I made you dinner”  
“Oh well I mean ya know”  
“Do you think you could have a shower without collapsing?”  
“Maybe if you’re in there with me”

Dean winked at Cas and wiggled his eyebrows. Cas rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Come on, lets get you into the shower.”

Cas started to strip them both down until they were in their boxers and he stepped into the shower. He started to run the water while they were in there, hoping the cold water would help sober Dean up a little. However that didn’t work as Dean just grabbed onto Cas and made him stand under the spray with him. Dean has always been a cuddly drunk, and sometimes it’s one of Cas’ favourite things. However other times Dean won’t stop clinging onto Cas and this is one of those moments. 

“Dean let go we need to get clean”  
“No I wanna cuddle you more”  
“Who knew Dean Winchester could be such a cuddle slut?”  
“If you tell anybody I’ll cuddle you so much you’ll never be able to move again”  
“Oh no, I’m shaking in fear”

Castiel eventually managed to get them both clean and dry. Dean padded over to the bed and flopped down. Cas threw a pair of boxers at him while he changed in the bathroom. When he walked out Dean still hadn’t changed his boxers and he was leaving a wet mark on the blankets. 

“Dean change. Now”  
“Yes Mom”

He put the sheets over him and told Cas to turn around. Cas rolled his eyes again, for what felt like the billionth time that night. He waited for Dean to tell him to turn around but was met with wet boxers being thrown on his head.

“Dean you’re disgusting.”  
“You love me”  
“Do I?”

For a second there, Cas could have sworn that he saw doubt and hurt fall across Dean’s face, but it was gone within a split second.

“Yes you do. Because I’m Dean Winchester and you’re Castiel Novak and we were born to be together everybody tells me so. Even Mom told me so it must be true”

Cas grinned and fell into bed, sliding in next to Dean. He kissed him on the lips several times before Dean rolled over onto his side with his back to Cas. At first Cas thought he had done something wrong until Dean started scooting closer to Cas. Cas caught on and realised that Dean wanted to not only spoon, but be little spoon. There’s a first time for everything.

Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean as he heard Dean’s gentle snores.

“Thank you for the most perfect weekend Dean. I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was insanely hard to write


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The drive home was un-eventful. Except for when Def Leppards ‘Pour some Sugar on me’ came on and Dean forced Cas to sing along. Although it wasn’t as if Cas didn’t know the lyrics or didn’t not want to sing along. Dean had played that song countless times around him and it was almost their own little personal song. Dean always belted out the chorus and Cas would just sing along happily, but this time the rolls were reversed, well not quiet reversed. Dean still belted out the chorus, but Cas was giving him a run for his money.

The song came on and Dean instantly turned it up, turning to Cas and grinning.  
“Dean I understand that we both enjoy this song but for the love of god will you look at the road!”  
“Cas I’m an amazing driver, I could drive baby in my sleep, with my eyes closed”  
“Well Dean, this might just be me, but I tend to sleep with my eyes closed, what about you?”  
“Shut up Cas”  
“Oh no it’s okay, I know for a fact that you sleep with your eyes closed”  
Cas winked at him and turned the music up even louder, drowning out Dean’s reply. The chorus was about to start and Cas started to sing along. 

Take a bottle  
Shake it up  
Break the bubble  
Break it up

Dean and Cas paused to look over and grin at each other before shouting out the chorus.

POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME  
IN THE NAME OF LOVE  
OUR SOME SUGAR ON ME  
COME ON FIRE ME UP  
POUR YOUR SUGAR ONME  
I CAN’T GET ENOUGH 

Every time the chorus came back around, it seemed as if they kept getting louder. Once the song had finished they were both had tears running down their face from laughter and they were painfully out of breath. 

“Cas man, don’t ever change”  
Cas just smiled softly at Dean then turned his attention back to the scenery passing down. It was moments like this when he felt truly happy. He felt like he was actually getting better, and he didn’t have to pretend to be happy, or put on that fake smile, day after day. 

When they got back they were instantly interrogated by Gabriel asking if they used protection. Cas rolled his eyes and walked past him, while Dean muttered something about how Gabe was a ‘cock blocking midget with a candy addiction’. Cas smirked and kept walking. Dean took the first shower because he was ‘oldest’ so Cas was left by himself and his thoughts.

He wanted to get better, he really did. It was just hard for him. He wanted to tell Dean about everything which is going on in his head but he’s scared. What if Dean doesn’t treat him the same anymore? What if he treats him like he’s fragile and about to break. 

Cas shook his head and started to unpack his clothes so he could do some washing. He did the same for Dean’s clothes until Dean came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walked over to Cas and kissed the back of his head. 

“Oh Cas you’re going to make the best house wife! Thank you hunny pie sugar plum”  
“You call me a house wife one more time Winchester and I will make sure you never get to see the light of day again”

Castiel felt triumphant and started to walk out. However Dean slapped his ass as he was walking away. He turned around to glare at up but Dean just winked and blew a kiss at him. Cas flipped him off while Dean put his hands over his chest as if he had been hurt. Castiel shook his head fondly at Dean before walking away to do the washing. 

That night Dean and Cas were lying in bed together. Dean had fallen asleep a long time ago, tired from the long drive back from the city. Castiel couldn’t sleep, he was scared about what would happen when he was dreaming. He wasn’t sure how long he go on with these nightmares haunting him in his dreams. When he was snuggled up close to Dean he felt safe and secure, almost as if Dean was his safety blanket. 

He decided that he would study until he was so exhausted he actually couldn’t stay awake. He carefully pulled himself out of Dean’s tight grip only waking Dean for a few seconds.

“Where you goin’ Cas?”  
“Uh I’m just going to get a glass of water”  
“Mmkay hurry back. I get cold without you”

And then Dean was out like a light again. Dean Winchester would be the death of him. And he really didn’t find himself caring. He would probably die for Dean, multiple times over probably.

It was 3 am when Dean hauled himself over to Cas and grabbed his hand pulling him back to bed, turning off the light as he went. He wrapped all his limbs around Cas and held him tightly. 

“Sh Cas it’s okay, no nightmares for you tonight. I’ll protect you”

Cas was going to deny the fact that he’s having nightmares but figures Dean’s already asleep and he won’t remember the conversation in the morning. 

That’s how it goes for the next few months. Castiel locks himself up, forces on the smile and pretends that he’s okay. Pretends like he doesn’t get nightmares, pretends that he isn’t scared that one day maybe Dean will leave him too. Cas was finding that it wasn’t the monsters under the bed which scared him anymore, but the monsters inside of his head Dean tries to help, he really does but it seems like there’s no way that Castiel will let anybody in anymore. Sure they still hang out all the time and have fun, and some times Castiel in genuinely happy, but other times Cas puts on a smile to try and make Dean happy.. 

They both go to school every day, Castiel’s grades never go down and Dean’s somehow go up. It must have something to do with Castiel’s study sessions with him. Castiel sits by himself more often than not, and the only time he actually sits with Dean and his group is when they all gang up on him and he feels obligated to sit with them. Everybody still adores Cas and he’s still one of the most popular people in the school, if not the most. Now that he’s mostly by himself, it means that he’s in higher demand than he normally is. If he’s not with Dean Winchester, and it’s not the famous ‘Dean n Cas’ anymore than that obviously means that Cas is looking for a new bestfriend. 

Which is totally wrong. Dean and Cas are still bestfriends plus the romantic part, they’re still unsure of what to call it. It’s just Cas seems to be needing to spend more time by himself. When he is around other people he barely talks and only interacts if he’s directly spoken to. Meg and Bal have both cornered Dean at some stage asking what’s wrong with their dear Cassie, to which Dean replies with ‘You would know if you actually paid attention and cared about Castiel’.

Castiel gets a maximum of 5 hours sleep on a good night. He often busies himself with homework or study until the early hours of the morning, or until Dean drags him into bed. His nightmares were getting gradually worse and he felt like nothing could stop it. 

However as the air grew colder and as the first snow fall happened for the winter Castiel seemed happier for a while. It was no secret that he loved winter and what it bought. For Cas it always meant family. Whether it being Thanksgiving or Christmas, or just the general fact that when they were younger they would sit around the fire place sipping at hot chocolate, or the fact that he can snuggle even closer to Dean without anybody being able to say anything about it, nobody really knew. 

Cas was barely managing to keep his head above the water, struggling to keep himself from drowning by the time December came around. They had had Thanksgiving at the Winchesters house, all the Novak’s there was overwhelming but they were having Christmas at the Novak’s. 

Dean and Cas had decided that they would go Christmas shopping together on the weekend. However Dean and Sam had just had a pretty bad fall out about Sam and Gabriel together. Dean had walked in on the two of them cuddling on the couch. He cleared his throat and glared at the two of them.   
“Oh hey there Dean-O! I was just about to start snogging Sammy here, so it’s probably a good thing that you came here when you did.”

He heard Castiel sigh from behind him and tried to grab his arm but was too late. Cas stood by Dean’s side, ready to hold him back if he needed to. Sam elbowed Gabe in the ribs and Gabriel grumbled a bit before facing back to Dean.

“Oh don’t get your panties in a twist, we don’t do anything worse than you and Cassie.”

Castiel coughed awkwardly beside Dean and started to flush. His sex life wasn’t really what he wanted to discuss with Gabe and Sam. Sure they had done stuff but he wasn’t going to go and tell Gabriel. 

“At least Cas and I have actually known each other long enough to know the basic facts about each other.”  
“Sam’s favourite colour is blue, he wants to be a lawyer and go to Stanford, the kid wants to leave me for bigger and better things, he likes burgers occasionally but prefers salads. He tries to go out running at least 4 times a week. He’s ticklish on his sides and feet and he mumbles when he sleeps. Anything else you want me to list?”

Castiel tried to butt in to the conversation   
“Hey Dean maybe we should go now, the shops shut at 5 now.”

“You know what Gabe? You don’t know anything about Sam. I pretty much raised him. I know what you’re like, you’re going to love him and then leave him. Why can’t you just leave Sam out of this?”  
“Dean you can’t make my decisions for me! If I like Gabe and he makes me happy then get over it! You’re not Dad and you never will be, so don’t act like it.”

With that, Sam pushed Dean in the chest. Dean felt his eyes start to water and he could have sworn that he heard Cas gasp beside him. He felt Castiel grab his hand and pull him away.

“Come on Dean, lets go, I’ll buy you pie okay?”

Dean nodded stiffly and followed Cas out to the car.

“Do you want me to drive Dean?”  
“Nah, I needa clear my head. Driving helps that”  
“Okay but be careful because the roads are wet and slippery from the snow last night.”  
“Cas I’m an awesome driver, you know that”  
“Your driving does not affect the condition of the road. I just don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too Dean.”  
“Hey Cas, it’s okay. You’re not getting rid of me that easy okay?”  
“I’m glad we’re doing this together Dean. I know that you didn’t want to because you said it was cliché that we’re buying presents for our families together but it really means a lot to me, that we’re doing this together. Thank you Dean.”  
“That’s fine Cas. Anything you want, anything you need, I’ll be here to give to you. As long as you need it and as long as you’ll have me for okay?”

Cas nodded and kissed him softly on the cheek.

“You and Sam will be okay Dean. You both just need to cool off.”

Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened but he nodded his head nonetheless. They had AC/DC blaring in the Impala speakers as per usual and were driving through a set of traffic lights when they heard a high pitched squeal. They both turned their heads towards the noise and Dean tried to swerve but it was too late. A car who had lost control due to the icy roads slammed into Dean’s side of the car and the Impala lost it’s grip on the road and spun out. Dean’s head crashed into the drivers door and Castiel tried to unbuckle his seatbelt to try and help Dean. It all happened so fast Castiel could barely comprehend what had happened until he felt the car hit something again and it sent a jolt through him. He smacked his head against the windshield with enough force for it to crack and Dean was flung into the steering wheel. He was certain he heard the crack of bones. 

Castiel must have passed out because when he opened his eyes again he heard the sound of sirens wailing and his head was throbbing. He looked over to find Dean’s unconscious body slouched against the drivers door. 

His eyes widened in horror as he realised what had happened.

“DEAN! DEAN PLEASE! PLEASE CAN YOU HEAR ME? DEAN!”  
He felt the tears run down his face and his breathing starting to quicken as he was pulled out of the Impala by an unfamiliar face. He started to try to fight it and tried to shake himself out of the person’s grip and tried to hold Dean’s hand. That was the last thing he saw before he blacked out again. Dean’s unconscious form being pulled out of the Impala and into an ambulance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’M SO SAD THIS WILL BE OVER SOON. I’M SO NOT READY TO LET GO OF IT.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:  
A/N: IS ANYBODY EVEN READING THIS!?

Castiel woke up in an unfamiliar environment. He was confused for a few seconds before remembering what had happened. He instantly tried to sit up but his head started to pound and he felt like he was about to throw up. He groaned and lifted his head slightly off of the pillow to see if he could see Dean. However he couldn’t see very far before he heard a shriek and somebody running into the room.

“CASSIE YOU’RE ALIVE! DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN OKAY? I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU. I’VE EATEN HALF AS MUCH CANDY THAN I NORMALLY DO.”

Cas felt himself being embraced by Gabriel. Once they released the hug, Cas turned his head slightly to and saw Gabe had tears in his eyes. Gabe’s eyes lifted to the door as Sam walked in. Castiel saw all the pain inside of Sam’s eyes and he smiled softly at him.

“Hello Sam”

Sam ran over to his side and hugged him so hard he was worried he was going to get broken bones. He felt Sam start to shake as he let out heavy sobs. Castiel only hugged him tighter until Sam calmed down and pulled back with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

“Cas I thought that I lost both of you. I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault and I’m sorry. I can’t lose you Cas, you or Dean. Please be okay for me?”  
“Sam last time I checked you aren’t an Ice Queen or are you just not telling me? Your name doesn’t happen to be Elsa does it?”

Sam laughed a little and shook his head.

“Well then it wasn’t your fault. You can’t control the weather, don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m wondering if I look better than you right now”

“Aw look, Cassie’s only been awake for 3 minutes and he’s already gone back to his sassy ways.”

They all knew that Gabriel was just trying to lighten the mood with humour but it wasn’t working.

“Where’s Dean?”

Castiel was hoping that Dean was in the waiting area, safe. Waiting for Cas to wake up so he could run into the room and wrap his limbs around Cas and everything would be okay. But there was no such luck. 

“Dean uh, he hasn’t woken up yet”  
Cas frowned and looked over at the clock, it was now Sunday afternoon. They had had their accident on a Saturday afternoon so he must’ve been passed out for around 24 hours.

“But it’s been approximately 24 hours?”  
“Cas we don’t know when he’s going to wake up”

Castiel’s stomach lurched. He was dreading asking the next question  
“Why not?”  
“Because he’s in a Coma Cassie. He hit his head against the door and he hit the steering wheel. I’m so sorry”

Castiel blinked once. Twice. Three times. 

“No, Dean’s not in a Coma. This isn’t funny! If this is some kind of joke you’re sick! Let me see him right now!”  
“Cas calm down! I’m sorry that this happened. It’ll be okay, everything will be fine.”  
“EVERYTHING WILL NOT BE FINE GABRIEL, DEAN IS IN A COMA. BECAUSE OF A CAR CRASH. FIRST NAOMI AND CHUCK AND NOW DEAN? DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?”

Cas didn’t know when the tears started to fall but before he knew it he was breaking down into deep sobs. He started to rip out the cords and tubes which were stuck into his arms with needles. A nurse ran in and tried to calm him down but Castiel couldn’t stop sobbing.

“Where is Dean? I need to see him? Please!”  
“He’s in the room right next to yours sweetheart. I have to keep you here for a while, you had a pretty bad concussion Mr Novak and we just need to make sure that you’ll be okay.”  
“No! I need to see Dean right now!”  
“Castiel honey I’m sorry but you can’t right now.”  
“How about I go stay in the room which he’s in? Then I won’t make a fuss, I promise. I’ll won’t rip any needles out and I won’t make a fuss, just please let me be near him”

The nurse looked like she was considering it. 

“I’ll be right back”

Castiel nodded and tried not to let himself get too hopeful. Gabriel and Sam stayed quiet, not saying anything but kept looking at him with sympathetic looks. This was going to be so hard on Castiel. If Dean didn’t wake up, Cas would never be the same. He would be losing the other half of himself to a car crash. The thing which killed both his parents. 

The nurse came back a few minutes later with a bright smile on her face.

“Okay what I’m about to do is to stay a secret okay? I’ve switched you into the next room over seeing as there’s nobody else in there at the moment. Because only a few other nurses and I have been in to check on you, I’ll tell them to keep it a secret. I don’t normally do this, but I think that you two being in the same room would help the recovery. From what I’ve heard you two are very close.”  
“Thankyou so much. Yeah, Dean’s my other half. The better half.”  
The nurse smiled. 

“You can call me Tessa”  
“Thankyou again Tessa”  
“No problem, now lets go really quickly. I’ve changed your room number on all of the documents but we just have to sneak you out okay?”

Cas nodded and sat up. He remembered that he was wearing a patients gown and asked for a pair of boxer shorts to be worn underneath so he wasn’t exposing anything. Once he slipped them on and everything was organised, Sam and Gabe helped him into the next room. They received a few secretive smiles from some nurses but that was about it. Once he walked into the room he saw Dean. He had cuts on his face and a few bruises. Castiel was glad that he couldn’t see what he looked like, because he wouldn’t be looking much better. 

He wanted to walk over to Dean and hug him and kiss him until everything was better, but Tessa gave him a stern look. He hung his head and walked over to the bed where he was hooked up to all the different machines. 

Once Tessa left, Michael, Luce and Anna all came in. They all were pale and looked like they didn’t sleep at all last night. Even Anna was looking worried. They all gave him a hug but nobody really said anything until a certain blonde haired woman rushed into the room.

“CASTIEL IS AWAKE? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME SOONER? I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM ONE OF THE NURSES!”

She ran to Castiel’s side and hugged him and did not let go. John came over and hugged him awkwardly over Mary. 

“Oh Castiel. How are you holding up?”

Cas looked down and shook his head. Mary kissed his forehead and started to ask him about the accident. 

“It all happened so fast. I didn’t know what was happening, we heard a screeching noise and looked over and then a car was coming towards us and then I unbuckled my seat beat, very stupid of me, but I just needed to make sure Dean was okay. But we were spinning on the road and then we hit something again and I felt my head slam into the windscreen and then I must have passed out but the last thing I remember was yelling at Dean trying to wake him up.”

Nobody said a word and the only thing which you could hear was the steady beat of the heart monitors. Mary was the only person with something to say.

“I’d like to have a chat with Cas here, just the two of us if that’s okay.”

Everybody nodded and got up to leave. Gabriel and Sam hugged him again as they left and both looked back at him before they walked out of the door. Mary turned to him with the only look which Mom’s can give. Sympathy mixed with comfort.

She looked him straight in the eye  
“How are you Castiel? How are you coping?”

He didn’t want to lie to Mary, he didn’t even think that he could. So he sucked in a deep breath and told her the truth.

“Truth it, I’m not coping.”

Mary nodded

“You know, Dean has been worried about you. We all have, but I think Dean knows something we don’t. Did you know that we asked him to come back and live with us?”

Castiel shook his head.

“We asked him, and he told us that you were his home, and that he needed to take care of you. He didn’t know what was the matter, but he knew something was wrong”  
“He never told me that..”  
“Maybe you weren’t meant to know. But I’m here now, giving you the motherly talk I know you need.”

Castiel nodded and started to tell his tale of what’s been going on in his mind in the past few months.

“It started with just missing them really badly. I uh, I think I took it a lot more personally than the others. I sort of blamed myself for their death. I felt like Naomi didn’t know that I loved her. It was just hard to let her know, she was so proper all the time and sometimes I felt like she didn’t really feel many emotions, if any. But Chuck and I used to be really close when I was still a child. Then his book started to get really successful and uh, he didn’t really have time for me anymore. So that’s when I started to focus really hard on my school, I felt like if I got really good grades and I was the top of the class for everything, then maybe they would notice me. Sometimes I’d go up to the roof hoping Chuck would see me and follow me up there so we could pretend like nothing changed. After a while I just went up there to get away from everybody fighting. I started to notice after a while that nobody in our family was actually happy, unless we were with other people. Like when I was with Dean and your family, I felt like I was apart of a family and that people cared. Gabriel has always done his best to make sure that I’m always okay and Gabe and I have always been close, but sometimes it just felt like my presence in the house was a burden to all of them. And it was hard, so I started to spend more time with you guys than my own family. I think they started to get jealous and that’s when Anna started to get spiteful.”

He looked over to Mary who was concentrating hard on what Castiel was saying. 

“Uh anyways, it started with a few nightmares. Mostly when Dean wasn’t with me and I knew that he wasn’t around. He’s kind of my safety net I guess. It was just Naomi telling me that she knows I never loved her and that kind of stuff. I just thought it was part of the grief but then they started getting more common and darker. Sometimes Naomi would tell me that I was a burden to her. Sometimes she’d make me hurt everybody that I love, which was Dean most of the time. I didn’t have any control of what I was doing, and I was always crying. She would tell me that she knows I don’t love him either. Sometimes Chuck would tell me I’m a disappointment. And I started to believe those things. And that’s when things started to get bad you know? I felt like I was alone and the walls were closing in on me. It was like I was screaming but nobody could hear me, I just felt so alone. Having Dean around me helped so much though. I think he started to get really worried when I stopped sleeping. He would wake up early in the morning and pull me to bed from him. I felt like Dean was the only person grounding me and keeping me sane. Gabriel never knew how deep and dark I was getting, I always tried to fake happiness because I didn’t want to worry him. So many times the thoughts of not being here anymore cross my mind. But I take one look at Dean and I know that he’ll make everything okay, or he’ll go down with me. We’ve had a saying between us where it’s us against the world, and that’s what I feel like it is. It’s not just Dean and Castiel anymore, but Dean-n-Cas as one big slur together. And I just..”

Castiel started to choke up and get tears again. He looked up at Mary who had a fond smile on her face although tears were now streaking down her face.

“I can’t lose him Mary. If I lose him, my world will come crumbling down. I just need him. It’s so cliché but he’s my other half and my better half. He needs to wake up, I don’t know if I could go on my life knowing that it was him who died and not me. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that..”

“Castiel! Dean will be okay. Don’t you ever say anything like that again okay? I’ll be here to support you every step of the way. He’s my son too, and I can’t say that I’m not worried out of my mind, but I stayed all night by his side and now I’m helping my other sons. You and Sam. I know that you and Dean are each others rocks, you have been since I can even remember honestly. I know you two will pull out of this together.”

Castiel nodded and wiped at his eyes. He looked over to Dean and sighed. He needed Dean to be okay. If Dean wasn’t okay then Castiel never would be. 

 

A/N: sorry ;)


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:  
A/N: thankyou to all the people who kudos'd :D

The hospital kept Castiel in for another 3 days, monitoring him. It wasn’t like Castiel was going to leave the hospital when he was discharged anyway. He was flooded with texts from Meg and other people who were worried about them. But Castiel didn’t have time for them right now. He just spent his time watching Dean, being his guardian angel. 

All his family, including the Winchesters, came in to check on him after school. Thankfully finals were over and done with so he wasn’t missing anything really important. Cas asked Sam to bring homework for him so he wouldn’t get too bored. 

Castiel had taken up drawing Dean. He had nothing to do all day and Dean looked peaceful for the first time in a while. What Mary said to him about how Dean said Cas was his home and he needed to take care of Cas made Castiel feel so much worse.

Of course it was a car crash. It couldn’t have been anything else, but it had to be a car crash. Castiel’s world was being torn down by the seams day by day. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle not being with Dean.

See, Dean and Castiel have been each others other half, each others rock and now that Castiel didn’t have Dean he felt like he was free falling into the darkness and it scared him. He had relied on Dean for so long and he never thought that he could loose him. 

Mary and John were trying to stay calm for their boys but it was obvious it was taking a huge toll on them. Mary lost her sister to a car crash and now her son was in a coma. Day by day everybody was growing more worried about Castiel. He stopped eating slowly and after a while he just stopped showing emotion.

When he finally was released from the hospital he had Michael sign the paper work and then walked straight back into the room which he and Dean were staying in. He said that he didn’t want to not be there for when Dean wakes up.

Sometimes Castiel would hold Dean’s hand and squeeze it, just to make sure there was still a pulse. Other times he would just hold it and tell Dean stories.

“I remember the first time I thought that I liked you. It was when we were year 5. Somebody was picking on me and calling me a freak but you stood up for me. I felt something different from then on, at first I thought that it was just a loving feeling of brothers. I never wanted to tell anybody in case they judged me, or picked on me so I kept it to myself. I was secretly hoping that you’d like me too one day. But I still remember the day when I knew that I had fallen in love with you. It was spring so it was still cold and you had just stepped out of the Impala. I was waiting at the front of the school for you and I saw you. You were wearing your normal jeans, your leather jacket and an olive green shirt which made your eyes look beautiful. I remember seeing you walk up to me and you waved. I felt my heart flutter and I got butterflies in my stomach. I couldn’t help but blush and smile, you asked me why I was blushing and I just said it was because it was cold. The light behind you was perfect, it almost made you look angelic. I remember thinking at that time that I would be so lucky if I got the opportunity to be with you. I remember hoping and praying that one day you would like me back. I waited for so long but it was worth it. Now that I finally have you I’m not letting you go, so you can’t let me go okay Winchester? You said we were in this together and you can’t go giving up now. Please fight. I can’t take on the world by myself Dean.. I need you.”

Mary was standing at the door listening to Castiel telling Dean the story and laying his heart on the line. When she heard him start to break down she rushed over and swept him up into a motherly hug. 

“He’ll wake up Cas, I promise. He won’t let you be by yourself, I think even if he died he would some how find a way to come back to life so that you would be okay. You’re Dean’s world, and I know that he’s yours.”  
“You heard all that?”  
“I heard enough. You really should have told him earlier you know. I remember him asking me a few years after you met, why he felt like he wanted to kiss you, and why he felt so happy around you. I told him that he probably wants to have a relationship with you and he was so confused because you were bestfriends. Either he hid that from us for a while, or he decided to try to drown it out, but I saw the way he looked at you. I think he’s always had a bit of an infatuation with you he just didn’t want to admit it.”  
“Really?”

Mary hummed and nodded at Castiel. He smiled for the first time since the accident. 

“You should go home and have a shower and change clothes before you come back Castiel”  
“No I can’t leave Dean, what if he wakes up?”  
“I’ll call you as soon as he does”

Castiel really did not want to leave Dean but he figured that if he had a quick shower and bought a few changes of clothes he could be back within an hour. Thankfully one of his brothers bought his car over so he didn’t have to worry about calling them to pick him up. 

Castiel drove cautiously back to his house, more anxious on the roads now more than ever. He didn’t want to drive but he knew that he needed too, otherwise he might not get out on the road again. When he got home, the house was eerily silent. Gabe and Sam were at the hospital but he didn’t know where his other siblings were.

He was walking up the stairs when he heard a door open and footsteps coming towards him. He looked up and found Anna with tears falling steadily down her face. She ran up and hugged him.

“I’m so sorry Castiel, I’m so sorry about everything. I didn’t realise how horrible I was to you until I thought that you weren’t going to make it and I’m so sorry”

Anna was sobbing into Castiel. Although Castiel was still hurt by what Anna did he forgave her. The crash made him realise that life is too short to hold grudges, he should spend his time loving his family and friends and enjoying life as much as he could. 

“Hey Anna it’s okay. We’re okay. Just don’t do that again or I think I’ll have a mental breakdown”  
“I won’t if you don’t go and get in anymore car crashes”

Castiel nodded and hugged her for a little while longer.

“I’ll let you go have a shower and get back to Dean okay?”

Castiel nodded and walked upstairs. He had the quickest shower possible and made some food because hospital food really was gross. 

When he arrived back at the hospital he found Sam hugging Dean’s body and sobbing. Sam was holding it together pretty well everybody thought, but he was just waiting until he was alone to break down. He blamed the accident on himself and he didn’t think he would ever forgive himself. It was his fault that they left when they did. If they hadn’t had the fight then Dean and Cas would have left before that and completely avoided the accident. 

“Dean I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault you’re like this. It’s my fault that Cas isn’t okay now. I’m so sorry, I’ll break up with Gabriel if you want me to, if it makes you come back. Just please come back to us. We need you Dean”

“Sam it’s not your fault, please stop blaming yourself. The accident was just us being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s okay, Dean will be okay. I’m okay aren’t I?”

“But Cas if Dean and I didn’t have that fight you guys wouldn’t have been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Dean’s in a Coma Cas, we don’t know when he’s going to wake up, or even if he is going to wake up”

“Sam Dean will wake up. I know he will. He wouldn’t leave you and I to fend for ourselves okay? And don’t break up with Gabriel. You need him and he needs you. Dean will come around, I promise.”

Sam started to sob again so Cas pulled him into a hug and didn’t let go until Sam’s tears had dried and he felt some what okay again.

Cas was trying to believe his own words, and praying to god that Dean would wake up, not just for his sake, but for everybody else’s as well.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

Castiel was sitting by Dean's bedside holding his hand. He hadn't had too much sleep last night, or for any night since the accident. He was still getting on with his homework and drawing but he was starting to feel lonely. He missed Dean more than he could fathom.

He didn't know what to do without Dean. If Dean was there, Dean would have comforted Cas and known exactly what to say but seeing as he wasn't Castiel was stuck telling stories to Dean about their childhood.

"Do you remember the time when you were first got your licence and pulled outside of my house with the Impala and you had aviators on because you said they looked cool. And the time when we were at the mall with Sam and he picked out a fedora that he really liked and we tried to stop him from buying it. Or the time when you came to school with a hang over and you wore glasses and people called you a douchebag because you were wearing glasses inside."

Castiel could have gone on all day about the memories that Dean and Cas had shared, but there was one in general which he wanted to say.

"I know you can't hear me, but I wish that you could. I remember the first time you told me that you told me you thought you were in love with me. We had just had a big fight and I thought that you were just saying that to try and make me forgive you, and I was so angry about that. I thought that the womanizer Dean Winchester would never fall in love, especially not with me. I secretly wanted it so much but I just thought it would never happen. I didn't believe you. I thought that you'd distract me from my studies but I think that going out with you was the best thing that's happened to me. I hope you know that at Graduation I'm still going to run up to you and make out with you in front of everybody that was a promise. I want everybody to know that you're mine forever."

Cas had a few stray tears falling down his face so he wiped them and continued talking.

"You know, when you wake up and if we last long enough, I can see us getting married with a nice double story house. A white exterior and a garden. We'll have a dog and we'll call it something ridiculous like Destiel, it can be our names put together. But that isn't ridiculous, I actually kind of like it. We can adopt a young girl one day. I think that you're going to make a really good father one day. I'm so proud of how far you've come as well, I remember a few years back you went through a rough patch and you decided that you didn't care anymore and you started to give up on classes and school and then something changed in you. I have no idea what but one day you came up to me and you told me that we're going to college together and that you're going to start trying hard in school. I remember being so proud of you for doing that. You're the world to me Dean, please please wake up."

Three weeks went past and Castiel only left Dean's side when he needed to use the bathroom or go home. Even then Castiel rushed back as soon as he could. Each week he was getting more excited for him to wake him, but less certain that he was. It was a strange combination. But he was patiently sitting by Dean's side everyday for three weeks, waiting for Dean to wake up. Sam was there all the time that Castiel was except for when he was at school. Mary and John had told Sam that he needed to stay in school and visit Dean after school. They tried to do the same for Cas but because he's 18 they let him decide.

Castiel had tried to kiss Dean on the lips to wake him up, he felt so cliché for doing it but he was wondering if it would work, but it made Dean's heart beat faster. Dean had started to grow a semi beard and was starting to prickle Cas' face whenever he tried to kiss him.

It had been 3 weeks and Dean still hadn't woken up. Castiel was starting to loose his faith and was worried that Dean would never wake up. He held Dean's hand in both of his and rested his head on the side of the bed. He began to sob, thinking Dean would never wake up. Thinking that he would never get to see those Emerald green eyes which Castiel had fallen in love with, or the smiles. Or his bow legs which he hated. Castiel loved everything about Dean, especially the things that he hated.

Castiel was whispering for Dean to wake up in between sobs when he heard a raw voice speak to him.

"Cas, why are you crying?"

Castiel didn't do anything, he assumed that it was just voices in his head. He had tried to hear Dean's voice in his head so many times that now he was sure he was going crazy.

He felt something poke his shoulder so he looked up to see what if was. He saw Dean's worried face staring back at him.

"Dean..?"

"Why does my head and ribs hurt Cas?"

"DEAN YOU'RE AWAKE?"

"When was I not?"

"Dean. You've been in a coma for 3 weeks."

Dean's eyes went wide as the feeling that Dean was actually awake right now washed over Cas.

"DEAN YOU'RE AWAKE! YOU'RE ALIVE! I THOUGHT I LOST YOU FOREVER! DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!"

Castiel climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Dean and started to kiss all over his face. He was being mindful of the big bruise on his forehead and Dean's injuries.

"Oh my god I have to call Mary, John and Sam!"

"Cas what do you mean I was in a coma?"

"Do you not remember?"

"Remember what?"

Castiel went pale at the thought of having to explain how they were in a car crash

"We'll talk about that later. I don't want to bring the mood down okay? I'm just so relieved that you're awake and now I have to call your parents and tell the nurses but I'm sure they already know because they're nurses but oh my god Dean you're alive and I love you so much, never ever leave me like that again okay?"

Before Dean could respond Castiel put the phone to his ear. Dean only heard Castiel's side of the conversation

"Hey Mary, it's Cas… No nothing is wrong, the opposite actually… He's awake Mary! Finally he's awake!.. Yes please come soon and bring Sam and Charlie and Gabriel and he's awake Mary! Okay see you soon"

Castiel turned back to Dean and grabbed Dean's face between his hands and kissed him as if there were no tomorrow. He alternated between crying of happiness, kissing and hugging Dean and telling Dean to never do that again.

Dean was so confused, he had no idea what was going on. He had been in a coma? What had happened which made Dean go into a coma? And why did Cas have bruises and scratches on his face?

"Cas are you still having nightmares?"

Castiel nodded and closed his eyes. He was about to explain further but the Winchesters and Gabriel came bursting into the room.

"DEAN! OH MY GOD YOU'RE OKAY!"

Dean smiled and gave Mary, John and Sammy all separate hugs. They all held on for a long time, worried that if they let go of Dean he would go back into a coma.

"Why was I in a coma?

They all looked at each other before Mary answered.

"Honey, you were in a car crash."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

A thousand thoughts rushed through Dean's mind at once. He was in a car crash? How did it happen? Was he the only one in the car? Was Cas in the car? Where is the Impala? Did anybody die?

Thankfully Mary seemed to be reading his mind so she answered his questions.

"Don't worry darling, nobody else was hurt but the Impala will need some work"

"Was Cas in the car..?"

Dean didn't want to know the answer. He would hate himself if the reason why Castiel had the bruise on his forehead was because of him.

"I was, but I'm okay and that's all that matters Dean. We're both okay"

"No Cas, it's not all that matters! I was meant to take CARE of you! Not risk your life in a car accident!"

"You listen here Dean, you didn't have ANY control over what happened. I don't need to be taken care of! I'm not a child, I'm 18 years old"

"Cas you're having nightmares and lord knows what else? How do you not need taking care of? You act like you're okay and nothing brings you down but really you're just bottling it up."

"Oh I'm the one who keeps my emotions to myself am I? I think that you need to re-think what you just said. Don't you dare ever say that the accident was your fault."

The rest of the group was just watching them argue, not wanting to intervene because it was obviously private. Castiel and Dean were both fighting back tears so the others decided to leave the room to give them some privacy.

"Dean I'm so sorry about blowing up at you. I've just been so worried about you for 3 weeks and now you're finally back with me. Please don't blame yourself for the accident. We can re-build the Impala together but for now it looks like you're riding with me"

"I promise that I will never let anything like that happen to you again okay?"

"Dean I'm bad luck. My parents were in a car crash and they died. We were in a car crash too and Dean I'm cursed."

"Well, I'd rather have you. Cursed or not"

Castiel threw himself into Dean's arms, being as careful as he could. The nurses came and checked in on them regularly. Castiel slept with Dean that night, and it was the best sleep he had had in weeks.

Dean woke up early the next day. He had a nightmare and must've woken Cas up when he did.

"Are you okay Dean?"

"I uh, had a nightmare"

Castiel stayed silent and bit his lip.

"You know, when I was in the coma I thought I was just sleeping. I thought I was dreaming 'cause I kept hearing your voice and you were telling me stories about our childhood and how you fell in love with me and stuff."

"That wasn't a dream Dean. I talked to you for hours, my voice was raw by the end of the day most of the time. I told you my favourite stories from when we were younger, I just needed to talk to you. I felt like if I talked to you then you would come back to me."

"Oh Cas. Are you still having nightmares?"

"I didn't have any last night, the first time since the accident. When you were in the coma I thought that I was hearing your voice and every time I just got disappointed because it was my mind playing games on me. So when you did end up waking up that's why I didn't look straight away. I couldn't handle hearing your voice but you still being in a coma."

"Wait so how did I hear you talking to me then?"

"It's not unusual that people can hear them talking to them when they're in a Coma. I guess you were just listening"

"I won't leave you again Cas. I promise."

Castiel nodded and kissed Dean once again.

"Can you tell me about your nightmares now please Cas?"

"It started with small ones at first, just Naomi kind of telling me that I was a disappointment and after a while I started to believe it. It got progressively worse however. I uh started to dream about Chuck agreeing with her. Then the really scary things started to happen, they started to tell me that I didn't actually love you. They started to hurt you and I couldn't do anything about it because I tried running to you but I couldn't reach you and it was horrible Dean. I was so scared, I was scared that I was going to lose you. I couldn't bare to have that happen, even in a dream. And then it wasn't just in my dreams that I would hear them. I would be studying and I'd hear their voices in my head and I just didn't know what to do. I didn't want to worry you so I kept it to myself and I know I should've just told you Dean but I was so scared. I haven't heard their voices in a while. I've just been focusing on you and trying to will you to live. I prayed every night for you."

"Cas we can't keep that stuff from each other."

"I know Dean, but I was scared. And then I was scared that you weren't going to wake up, and I knew that I would have to prepare to say goodbye to you forever. I just couldn't do that Dean. I don't know what I would've done with out you. I don't want to."

"Don't worry baby, I won't leave you."

"Baby?"

"Hey we're having a moment and I thought that you would suit a pet name nicely."

"I'm not an infant Dean"

"Ah and there's the Castiel I love"

"You know, I'm not the only one who's relieved that you're okay now. Sam was about to go crazy. We both didn't leave your side unless we had to. I left you for 6 hours tops. It really was disgusting, I wouldn't shower because I didn't want to miss you waking up and I had food bought to me and homework bought to me. I'm just glad I had a shower last night"

"Thanks Cas. You and me against the world right?"

"You and me against the world"


	27. Chapter 27 Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! guys this is it. It's actually almost over. Oh my gosh I want to cry this is so horrible for me why did I even start this story. I just want to thank everybody for the support they've shown me through out this story. If you're ever scared to put your work out there don't worry! You can totally do it, I promise you. Thank you to the final favourites and reviews and follows. I'm so sad to have this story go but hey, who knows maybe I'll pop out a sequel. Love you all x

Epilogue:

 

"Dean I can't believe it, we're graduating tomorrow. We're finally going to be out of here. We're going to go live our own lives, finally."

"I know Cas. You've worked so hard for this and I'm so proud of you baby"

"Not an infant Dean"

"Shh Cas. I can't help that I'm proud of my Angel of Thursday"

"I am yours."

"Really?"

"Really. For however long you want me to"

"I'll never get tired of you, so I guess you're stuck with me forever."

"Oh joy"

"You can't resist me"

Dean winked and Cas rolled his eyes and pushed Dean gently.

"Oh I almost forgot to tell you, when you were at your parents house I made 3 pies for you. Cherry, Apple and Pecan."

"Are you serious Cas?"

"And I managed to get Gabriel's Star wars DVDs off him. So you and I are going to celebrate the eve of our graduation with a star wars marathon and pie. Cause around about this time last year was when you tried to get me to watch it but I didn't really pay attention"

"Cas did you do all this.. For me?"

Castiel looked down and blushed

"Yes"

"Oh Cas I love you so much I could marry you!"

Castiel's head shot up with wide eyes and Dean stammered over trying to say something.

"Uh no I didn't mean that sorry it just slipped out"

Dean didn't miss Cas' face drop

"Cas I do want to marry you, but just not yet, I want to finish college and get a job and some money so I can spoil you for our wedding and honeymoon. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'm excited for our life together. We're already living together, but I mean our married life together."

"Dean money is no issue, you know that"

"But I want to spoil you with money I earned myself. I want to spoil you with everything you've ever wanted and more until the day you die because I want to show you how much I care for you."

"You're everything I've ever wanted and more Dean."

"We could stay here and talk about our feelings or we could eat pie, watch star wars and make out?"

Cas chuckled and walked down into the kitchen to get their pies and ice cream before heading back into his room. Dean kissed him as soon as he sat on the bed.

Every time they kissed it still felt like the first time. Sparks still flew every time and Cas had never been happier than when he was with Dean.

They managed to stay up until 1, when Castiel said they needed to get some beauty sleep seeing as their graduating tomorrow. Dean was hesitant but agreed, no matter how much he loved lazily making out with Castiel with the taste of pie in both of their mouths and watching Star wars he knew that after tomorrow he would be free to be with Castiel as much as he wanted to so he decided that he'd let it slip just this once.

Neither of them could believe that after 12 long years of schooling they were about to graduate and become adults. Dean had already turned 19, due to the fact that he was born on January the 24th. Castiel took him to a cabin somewhere in the forest for a night, knowing it would be just those two. However they had to take Castiel's car seeing as Dean's car was still ruined by the accident. Dean hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet which meant that he had to turn up to school in Cas's car which he hated. He missed driving Baby and was getting to the point where he felt almost physically sick because he hadn't driven her in so long. They had such a wonderful night together, curled up together in their own sanctuary, not needing to worry about anybody else. Anybody could tell that Dean and Cas were dedicated to each other and were not going to break up any time soon, if ever.

They both curled up around each other with the intentions to sleep but both were too excited to finally start their future. Castiel and Dean had both applied to the San Francisco Uni and they had both been accepted. Castiel had been helping Dean with his grades and it was obvious how much of a help Castiel was in Dean's life. They needed to go and look at apartments soon and Castiel was starting to get stressed about it but Dean had a plan.

When they woke up the following morning buzzing with excitement. This was it, their high school days were coming to an end. Castiel woke up first and pretty much jumped on Dean to wake him up.

"DEAN! It's here! It's finally here."

"Shhh Cas 5 more minutes okay"  
"Dean if you don't get your cute ass out of this bed right now, so help me I will pour ice cold water all over you"

"Pour your sugar on me?"

"Shut it Winchester. Get up and I'll make you pancakes"

Dean finally got out of bed and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

"We graduating Cas!"

"And we will be late if you don't get ready"

"You said there'd be pancakes Cas"

"I lied. The only way to get your sweet ass out of bed is by offering food"

"You want this sweet ass"

Castiel rolled his eyes and turned to walk away. Dean slapped Castiel's butt on the way out and when Cas turned around to glare, Dean winked at him.

An hour later they were out of the house and heading towards the school for the graduation ceremony. They still had 45 minutes until the ceremony started so they did the annual Novak tradition and walked around the school pointing out all of their favourite spots from their life at high school. Gabriel wanted them to drink while they were doing it but the rest of the Novaks plus Dean told him no. Cas and Dean showed them all of their little spots, there was a certain tree away from most people where Cas and Dean went to sit sometimes when they just needed to be alone. To the students of the school, they were known as the signature cute couple. Every time they saw each other and winked in the others direction there was always an 'Aww' of some kind. In some classes they actually had to be separated because they were too 'flirtatious' and were distracting the rest of the class. Castiel blamed it on Dean, as Cas was the star student. Eventually they found their way back to the part of the school which the graduation ceremony was happening.

Gabriel and Dean were finally okay again, after promising that Gabriel won't hurt Sam and he won't let him do anything illegal or bad or anything which will get him in trouble. Dean and Sam were back to normal as well, both not really caring about their arguments after Dean's life was at stake. The Novak and Winchester families were finally at peace again.

They passed Principle Crowley on the way to their seats and he nodded his head and gave them both a slight smile. He made his way up onto the stage and started the ceremony.

"Welcome to all the proud families who have gathered here today to celebrate their children graduating. It's been a long year for most of these students, but they never gave up. We have tried to support each and every student with their last year at this school, and we think we've done a pretty good job. As Principle of this school I know what goes on with these students and I've tried my hardest to help these students in every area. I'll be sad to let these munchkins go but I know that they are moving on to bigger and brighter things. So without futher a due, I give you Castiel Novak, this years Valedictorian."

There were many shouts and cheers, but the loudest and most enthusiastic were from the Novaks and the Winchesters. Principle Crowley rolled his eyes and smirked before addressing the crowd again.

"Oh and I think I'm going to rest easier in these coming years knowing that there are no more Novak's in my school. We still have another Winchester but hey, the kids a moose."

The whole stadium erupted into laughter at those comments. Everybody knowing full well that the Novaks were bad enough, but when there was a Winchester involved many of the teachers would soon be going grey.

As Castiel stood up to walk up to the stage and placed his notes on the podium. He took a few deep breaths before beginning.

"Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm so honoured to be the Valedictorian for this year at Lawrence High. I would also like to congratulate the other students from this year on graduating. This year has not been easy for any of us. Many of us have been hit with a particular bug. Something we all like to call Senioritis."

A low rumble of laughter erupted and Castiel felt more confident.

"I remember walking through the front gates of this school almost 4 years ago. I thought that I was so close to finishing. I could picture this moment which I'm having right now. I could imagine myself standing here giving this speech to all of you. I thought that high school would be the typical 4 best years of your life which movies make it out to be. I thought that I would be the teenager who parties and has a wide circle of friends. Don't get me wrong I love my friends and I will miss them dearly when I attend college in San Francisco. However movies don't show you the responsibilities which go along with high school, or the drama or the stress. Trying harder and harder each year to get what you want. I will never forget the memories which I've made at this school. Not all of them are positive but I feel like they've built me up into the person I am."

Castiel looked down at his notes and decided 'Screw the notes'. He took a breath and let words flow out of his mouth.

"High school has been hard for me these past 4 years and especially for my senior year. I lost my parents and I had to go through the grief of losing them, but luckily I had wonderful family and friends to keep my head up for me and pick me up when I was down. I also thought that I had to choose between my bestfriend and my school. I thought that it would be impossible to toggle both my school life and my social life, so I decided that I would give up my social life for the sake of getting better results. I didn't realise how badly that was affecting me as a person, I am not a machine and I was not built to study all of the time. I never understood how my siblings did it. Part of me always wondered if the teachers just decided to pass them so that they wouldn't have to have a Novak in their class. I'm really sorry about us, all my sympathy goes out to all the staff members who had to deal with any Novak in the past."

Castiel chuckled at all the memories before he kept going.

"I ended up exhausting myself. I was working too hard and I wasn't giving my body a chance to relax. After a while, my very patient best friend decided that he had had enough and he showed me that it wasn't all about studying. I'm also sorry and have respect for any staff member who had to deal with Dean and I this year."

Dean let out a loud whoop at that and the staff members laughed a little bit, although they looked very relieved.

"This past year has given me some of the best memories which I think I will ever have. I know that I won't forget my senior year. I think that we all took a step out of our comfort zone this year, and I'm so proud of my fellow students who have come this far. I feel like we have all changed this year for the better. We've all stood up to the task at hand and we've all become more mature. When I walked through those gates 4 years ago I had a dream that I would be the Valedictorian of our year, and I never gave up on that dream. I think that it's important for us all to dream, it keeps us grounded and it gives ourselves a chance to keep a bit of our childlike wonder. Anyway I think I've been going on for too long so I'll wrap it up. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, be who you are, accept and embrace yourself and don't give up on those dreams because sometimes they are the only things which will keep you going. Sometimes life doesn't go your way, but you have to keep on pushing on. We did it guys, we're finished."

The crowd burst into cheers and he saw his siblings next to the Winchesters, all of them wiping tears off of their faces. He couldn't believe what he was about to do, but he figured that he had already graduated, so what was the worst which could happen.

"One last thing before I head off the stage. So at the start of the summer last year I made a deal with my bestfriend. I'm not sure if he remembers it, but here goes. You can be the worlds biggest ass sometimes, and I'm sorry about what I'm about to do; but, I love you Winchester."

The crowd was silent and Cas caught Dean's eyes as his jaw dropped. He nodded at the crowd and walked down the stairs, fully aware that every eye was on him. He was walking back to his seat but didn't reach it because he was tackled to the ground by a certain Dean Winchester.

"Dean what are you doing!"

"Keeping to the deal"

Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and helped him up before placing each hand the side of Castiels' face and kissing him. The crowd burst into cheering and Aww's.

"Alright alright Novak and Winchester back to your seats. We're all aware of your undying love for each other, we've known it since freshman year for Christ sakes! Oh did I just say that out loud? Sorry, lets get on with this shall we?"

One by one the students names were called and Castiel cheered for every one of them. Finally it got to Castiel's turn.

"Castiel James Novak. The last of them"

He stood up and walked up to the stage trying to keep the excitement off of his face. He walked up the stairs, shook hands with Crowley.

"Castiel Novak, this years valedictorian, son of Naomi and Chuck Novak. He's been accepted into many universities, but has decided to attend the University of San Francisco, and has also received a full scholarship. Your parents would be proud of you Castiel."

He grinned and pulled the tassel to the other side of his cap and returning to his seat.

When Dean's name was called there was also an equal amount of noise from the Winchesters and Novaks.

"Dean Winchester, son of Mary and John Winchester. He's been accepted into the University of San Francisco. He's decided to stay with Castiel. We all wish you luck. Stay out of trouble there boys"

Dean smirked and pulled Crowley into a hug which made the crowd laugh.

Finally the ceremony was over at Dean and Castiel went over to their families to get photos etc. However when they caught each others eyes they sprinted towards each other in the crowd and Castiel jumped on Dean.

"DEAN! IT'S DONE! WE'VE GRADUATED!"

Dean pulled Cas into a deep kiss which was only stopped when their families awkwardly cleared their throats. They were forced to take photos together by themselves and with their families.

"Cas we're going to college! In San Francisco!"

"We'll have to go there soon and look at apartments"

"Oh about that, we're leaving tomorrow. We're finally doing our road trip!"

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Uh yeah, about 15 minutes ago. You not only told me, but told every body else in the stadium."

"It's not my fault I can't control my feelings for you"

They both laughed and joined the group which their family and emerged into. They all went out to dinner together, celebrating their graduation. While they were at the dinner, Michael stood up to make a toast.

"Castiel and Dean we're all so proud of you. Congratulations on graduating and getting together before the year was over. We all had bets going on and unfortunately Gabriel won that bet. Anyway, we all know that you're going to be together for a while now, if not for the long run, so for your graduation present as well as late birthday present, here are the keys to your new apartment in San Francisco. 10 minute walk away from the University. Everything is already furnished and paid for. This is from Luce and Anna as well by the way."

Dean and Castiel's jaws both dropped and tears started to prick their eyes. Castiel stood up and hugged Michael.

"Thank you so much Mike! When did you get time to look at it and pay for it and oh my god this is so over whelming thank you so much!"

"I told you I was going on a business trip."

Gabriel stood up and reached into his backpack.

"Cassie and Dean this is my graduation present to both of you. I made one of these myself and the other I got printed. I hope you both like them"

Gabriel pulled out two blankets and gave one to each of them. Dean and Cas eyed each other warily before opening the blankets. One of them Gabriel lying seductively on the bed with Candy scattered around him while the other was a comforter with the words 'The Sexual Comforter' sewn on.

"Just so you don't forget me. And it's obvious what the Sexual Comforter is for"

Gabriel winked at them both before sitting back down. Everybody was still laughing, not surprised with Gabriel's gift.

Castiel looked around and was genuinely happy. He had his family around him and he had just graduated. Charlie was moving to San Francisco with Jo and Dorothy. Charlie and Dorothy had grown over the past year but they claimed to be just friends. The three girls were all extremely close and all excited to be moving into their own place together.

John and Mary stood up

"Dean and Cas, we've fixed up the Impala for you, runs better than she did before. We've also set up an account for both of you, for groceries and other things. We love you both"

"Thank you so much Mom and Dad, you guys are the best. I have Baby back!?"

"Of course, how else were you going to go on the road trip? We weren't going to let you drive Castiel's car"

"Hey my car is better than baby any day"

Castiel tried really hard not to smile, he only said it to get a reaction out of Dean and apparently it worked. Dean turned around horrified until he saw Castiel's expression and realised he was joking. He turned his expression into a scowl as he thanked his parents again.

They were all being so kind to them both and they appreciated it so much. Without the support from their family, they wouldn't be where they are today.

Eventually they headed home, Dean staying with his family for the night and Castiel staying with his. It would be the first time in a while which they didn't share a bed but they both knew that they would be okay. Castiel didn't have nightmares anymore, though he was scared of losing Dean. They all celebrated Castiel graduating by doing a shot each and pigged out on junk food. Castiel packed for his road trip and had a shower. Dean was coming to pick him up at 10:30 am tomorrow. He was really excited for this trip, so he headed to bed reasonably early.

Cas settled down to sleep after texting Dean a quick 'Sleep well tonight. See you tomorrow, I love you xxxx'. He wasn't worried about having nightmares anymore because he knew that his life was pretty much perfect at the moment.

Castiel's alarm went off at 9:30 the next morning, giving him enough time to wake up and have a shower and get ready before Dean came. He had just finished his breakfast when Dean knocked on the door. Castiel opened it and pulled him into a hug.

"We're no longer high school students Dean"

"I know Cas, we're free. We're adults. We're going to be living in San Francisco together. We're going to grow old together. Have a dog called Destiel"

"Oh dear god you remember that? I said that to you because I thought that you wouldn't remember it. But I do like the name Destiel, I think it's cute."

"I think you're cute"

"Oh Winchester! And they say romance is dead! Oh how you woo me"

Dean chuckled and kissed Castiel's forehead. They put their luggage into the Impala's trunk and said goodbye to the Novaks. Gabriel came out to the Impala holding something behind his back. Castiel groaned and tried to think about what it would be. Unfortunately Castiel didn't have enough time to roll down the windows before Gabriel threw 6 boxes of condoms into the car before running off cackling.

Dean laughed while Castiel sent a glare to the back of Gabriel's head. When Gabriel turned around, he blew a kiss at the two of them before closing the door. Castiel sighed and huffed out a small laugh. They threw the condoms into the backseat and buckled themselves in.

"Better keep them in the back seat eh Cas"

"Oh shut up Winchester, the only back seat action you'll get is when I force you to sit in the backseat because you've pissed me off too much and I'll have to drive"

"Oh Cassie I'm so offended"

"You're stupid"

"I'm adorable"

Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. Things really were looking up for him.

When they were finally ready to leave, Dean looked over to Cas as he pulled out of Cas' driveway and kissed his knuckles. He smiled at him with so much love in his eyes before speaking.

"Ya know Cas, been through so much together, and there's still a lot more that we'll have to go through, but I'm glad that you'll be by my side."

"One day we'll be telling this story to our children. The story of how we came to be"


End file.
